Cross-dressing carnage
Trip Start
Nov 07, 2005
1
63
75
Trip End
Nov 04, 2006
Kariba / Lake Kariba,
Zimbabwe
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Before entering Zimbabwe we received strict instructions on dos and don'ts to avoid getting arrested. The biggest potential problem for us as tourists was money - not just getting robbed, but getting caught with too much local currency on us by police or undercover police. The official exchange rate at the banks was Z$250 to US$1 but we'd opted to change money on the blck market at between Z$500-750 to US$1. The only problem being that if we were caught with the money and unable to produce a receipt (which you only get from the bank, not from the black market) then we could be fined or arrested.
After hiding all the food we'd purchased in Zambia (cos it was cheaper) for the houseboats, we managed top get through the border virtually unscathed, apart from a last minute request to see our yellow fever certificates and made our way to the camp. Upon arrival it was evident how much of a target the camp was for theives and we had to keep everything locked away except for our sleeping bags. My group's attempt to cook beef stroganoff was hampered by the extortionate price of mushrooms in the supermarket and so we ended up cooking a kind of beef curry and rice, which, since Ruth was in the cook group, we announced as No 11 and small chips.
The next 2 days were party time on the houseboats and everyone let loose. The girls went straight to the top deck to sunbathe whilst the boys went straight to the fridge for a beer and took over the outdoor jacuzzi (absent of bubbles except for when they farted in it). In the afternoon Romy gathered us round to dole out our fancy dress costumes for the evening. They mostly consisted of ghastly 80s outfits with most of the boys being fitted with dresses and/or lingerie. Mine was a multicoloured flowery dress a few sizes too big which reminded me of something Dorothy might have worn to visit the Wizard of Oz.
Having been drinking since we arrived on the boat in the morning, Morgan was somewhat wasted and after almost falling down the stairs, was carried to bed before dinner.
Whilst Morgs was passed out, the rest of us enjoyed our 3 course meal with vodka jelly for dessert, most of which ended up all over the floor and in our clothes as a jelly fight broke out, followed by a drunken rendition of Damien's favourite song to which he attempted to get everyone addicted - Michael Bolton's 'How Can We Be Lovers?'.
I thought it was the best night of the trip. Ruth claimed it was the best night of her life.
The next day everyone was looking and feeling decidedly rough, but I didn't feel too bad, so I delivered tea and sympathy to the worst afflicted - Jo and Bart. We had a much needed fry up for breakfast and then most people resorted to sunbathing or sleeping or both.
Despite having been too drunk to stay up for dinner the previous night, Morgs was up for breakfast which he washed down with a beer.
Judging by the hangovers everyone had endured from the first night, I thought the second night would be a quiet one, especially since we were in a national park and weren't supposed to be making any noise. After having a ridiculously long conversation about mayonnaise, with Bart pointing out that there are different types for different occasions, having previously told me "you'll be surprised at what mayonnaise can do in your life" (I secretly wonder sometimes whether he's on a promotional tour for mayonnaise), I retired to bed, but the boys started playing drinking games and as I went to bed they were already puking over the side of the boat. Apparently there was a lot of shouting during the night as Bart kept climbing into various people's beds, buth Ruth, Damien and I slept through the whole thing, even thiugh the shouting occurred right outside our room.
We left the carnage the next morning with everyone vowing never to drink again and headed back to the previous campsite. The threat of being robbed was all too real this time, as Robert awoke during the night to some guys trying to cyphon diesel from the truck. But after hitting them over the head with a torch, they fled empty-handed.
Again, most people work up during the commotion. Again, I heard nothing.
