An open letter to the Republic of Korea

Trip Start Apr 02, 2006
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of Korea Rep.  ,
Tuesday, August 15, 2006

So it's your Independence Day... whoopity doo! Have fun with that... I'm going to stay in my apartment and eat McDonalds food and try to enjoy the fruits of Western culture - so if you and your drunken citzens could keep it down outside, I'd be highly appreciative.

Okay, so maybe this wasn't the best way to start off a letter to you... but you have to admit, YOU started it. That's right - you fired the first shot, threw the first pie, or whatever you say here. I've been trying to be nice. I've been trying to be patient. I've been trying to learn your language and customs... so why do you hate me?

Why do you hate me, Korea?

Stop asking me if I grew my beard on purpose Korean Response (VIDEO)
Korean Response (VIDEO)
 . Stop staring at the hair on my arms. Stop looking so shocked when I can speak more than one word of your language. You know "Hello", "Bye bye" and "Thank you" .. why is it such a big deal when I return the favour?
Don't give me a weird look when I can read things written in your language... Hell, half the time it's words from MY language, spelled out phonetically in YOUR letters.

I don't openly mock you when you mess up your L's and R's...your B's and P's (and V's for that matter) so why am I such an asshole when I mix up the vowel sounds for "e" and "ae"... atleast they sound alike!

I try not to laugh at you when you wear shirts with swear-words and references to drug-culture. I try not to laugh at your men's disturbing fondness for pink, girly-hair, same-sex hand-holding while you completely deny the presence of homosexuality within your geographical borders. They're here. You just can't tell them apart from the straight guys.

Stop rolling your eyes at me, Korea. I know you are. Just swallow your pride and admit that your wrong sometimes. Admit that sometimes you've lied to me and that you screw up because you're not perfect. I'm FAR from perfect and I don't even pretend to be.... why not humanize yourself a bit. I've been here more than 4 months now... there's not much that you can keep hiding from me. If I haven't found out about it - I will... so just drop the act.

It's not that I'm mad at you, Korea... I'm just disappointed. I thought we could be friends... and honestly it's not too late.

Let's work it out.
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