The Iraqi Occupation

Trip Start Jun 01, 2006
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Australia  ,
Thursday, March 15, 2007

"As Bertrand Russell once said, "The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation." I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now".
"Was that on a beer mat?"
"Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold".

Shaun of the Dead*

"The name's Ash, housewares... Come get some"

Bruce Cambell, Army of Darkness**

"You're so money and you don't even know it!"***


"You were right not to trust me"


"I'm going to live forever or die trying"

Catch 22*****

Again, the apology for lack of recent updates. This is due to a combination of laziness on my part, and being busy at work doing all kinds of fun things.

I'm working at reception now at the Pint on Punt, as well as being a bartender and the inventor of the Iraqi Occupation (the recipe will be at the end of this message). Being a receptionist is fun - it means I can continue having conversations with Rich about how shit Base Backpackers is (where he is a receptionist) and add new knowledge from a receptionist's point of view.

Recent conversations go something like this:

Rich: My hostel is great - it's all new and shiny and clean. We have air conditioning in every room.
Me: We have mice.
Rich: We have a dedicated travel desk to arrange all our guests needs.
Me: We have huntsmen spiders.
Rich: We have two hundred beds.
Me: And I think maybe one of those white tails, you know, the shit scary ones that put you in hospital.
Rich: We pride ourselves on our standards.
Me: I mentioned the mice, right?
Rich: Your hostel's shit.
Me: You're shit. We could run a petting zoo if we felt the need. But we don't want to repress our animal guests.

I like the Pint on Punt, which is handy as I currently live and work here. I've also still been doing the odd days work with Adam the American. Most recently yesterday, when we were unloading a shipping container. Nobody wanted the pallets so Adam got on the phone, Milo Minderbinder style, and tried to sell them for six bucks a pop. Trouble was, by the time we'd got a confirmed sale we'd given up and sent them back in the container.... So close. That would have been an extra thirty six dollars a piece! Oh well. Adam's gone back to the drawing board, to continue his attempts to buy eggs for five cents, sell them for three, and still turn a profit.

Birthday celebrations all round at the moment - Bruce Cambell hit the big 27 on Monday, and Saturday night was all about going round his house to enjoy his present from Vinny and myself - the Evil Dead Trilogy on DVD. Happy Birthday Bruce Cambell!! I tried to take some photos of the event but my camera is currently buggered and wouldn't play ball.... Sorry to everyone, but especially Vinny's Mum.

Then the very next day it was off down the road to cheer in Eddie Baby's big day as he turned.... I don't know actually, probably 29. This shindig was held at the Windsor Castle, a delightful Gay/Metro Bar in Windsor that is full of straight people who moisturise. Happy Birthday Eddie!!

Too many birthdays really. I've got my own soon. Last week it was my Dad's, and he'll be delighted to hear that I asked over fifty people to remind me to give him a ring at night to wish him a good day. Most of them did remind me, so I called, but nobody was in so I sang happy birthday to the answering machine. Then I somehow managed to remember to ring back later, and this time spoke to my brother Rich, who wasn't completely sure it was my father's birthday at all..... This led to some confused discussion, as I was a little drunk, but I'm pretty sure everything worked out just fine. Happy Birthday Father!!

Wednesday nights at the pub are becoming my favourite nights to work. On the one hand, its karaoke, which is even worse than you might imagine. On the other, the management of the pub accept that this puts undue pressure on the staff and gives us free Jager-Bombs all night (for the uninitiated this is a mainly Australian thing involving dropping a shot of Jagermeister into a half glass of Red Bull). This creates a fun and relaxed working environment. We also become creative, thus leading to the invention of the Iraqi Occupation by my good self, which turned out to be a lot nicer than it was supposed to be and is now on sale behind the bar (Recipe coming people, patience).

The Grand Prix is in town, and we are five minutes walk away from the track - today they've been driving around and it's pretty loud even from my room. Hopefully I'll get my camera sorted out for Sunday and take some snaps of what the Grand Prix looks like for those who can't afford to go in and wouldn't bother if they could - I look after you guys.

And, og course, St PAtricks' Day is on Saturday - raise a glass for me, as I've decided to celebrate my Irish roots this year by workgin a 17 hour shift......


The Iraqi Occupation

Take one shot glass, fill two thirds with Sambuca and add a top layer of Baileys. Then dribble in grenadine or raspberry cordial from a height of six inches. This will curdle the Baileys making it chewy, and at the same time make the shot glass look pretty (in the same way brain haemorrhages are pretty). Then, poor half a pint of Coopers Pale Ale (if outside Australia, go for any cloudy lager, like Hoegarden). Then, perform the necessary toast ritual (I favour "I don't care who you are, here's to your dream"). Then, drop shot glass into beer glass and down mixture in one go. Try not to eat the shot glass, and don't forget to chew the Baileys. Enjoy!

And why's it called the Iraqi Occupation?

Because it's fucking stupid.

* As I'm now socialising with people who read this regularly, I keep getting asked to explain the quotes at the top of the page. I like having quotes at the top of the page. They usually have something to do with the entry, or something amusing that happened to me in the week that I'm not going to write about here (as it contravenes good taste rules) but I want a reminder anyway. Or sometimes it's something we've been saying to each other that is amusing. And sometimes its something completely random that takes me longer to think of than the entry took to write, and I only stick in because I've got 98 of these entries under my belt and almost all of them start with a quote.

The Shaun of the Dead quote is there because we watched it on Saturday at Bruce Cambell's house, and during that line he told me that I'd used it on Travelpod - I disagreed, and we had a who-knows-Travelpod-best competition, which I lost. Then the next day I checked, and I was right! I hadn't used that quote! You owe me something sweet Bruce Cambell!

** The Army Of Darkness Quote is dedicated to Bruce Cambell's Birthday

*** The Swingers Quote is dedicated to Eddie's Birthday

**** It's just a cool line.

***** The Catch 22 quote is a reference to the Catch 22 reference a couple of paragraphs in.
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