Want Some Bacon?

Trip Start Jun 01, 2006
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of China  ,
Tuesday, August 22, 2006

"You want some bacon?"
"Nah man, I don't eat pork"
"Are you Jewish?"
"No, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all"
"But bacon tastes good... Pork chops tase good"
"Hey, sewer-rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep, and root, in shit. That's a filthy animal"

-- Pulp Fiction

When we got back to Chengdu we couldn't get a bed in Sim's place, or even the other hostel around the corner. We ended up having to check into a shitty hotel where the toilet wasn't attached to the floor (although bonus points for not being a hole in the ground) and the shower didn't work so we had to wash with a bucket.

We went to Sim's anyway for a beer or two, bumped into some of the team from our previous encounter (the bar staff, Will the Panda and Stephanie the Australian), and had a few drinks. We had been planning on leaving first thing the next morning, but Stephanie, in a masterstroke so wonderful I felt like I should have asked her to say it, got Vinny all excited about the mountains we're heading towards so he wanted to copy his memory card onto a CD to free up space for more photos. So we decided to stay an extra night, and Sim's were all too happy to accomadate.

When we returned to our hotel at two am we were locked out, and had to wake up a series of people to get through each locked door. When we checked out the next morning, they were as happy as we were.

Sim's is a great place and we both highly reccomend it. The showers are the best we've experienced, and everyone's nice. Well, mostly. And they've got a little kitten that wonders around looking forlorn, and two piglets that fight for attention and scraps. And a rat, but that's not really something they encourage.

Rather, they HAD two piglets. The other day someone fed one of them a bread roll and it choked to death. A very sad time for all of us, as the little fellows had become part of the Sim's family. That night we had a toast for our fallen comrade, wishing him well in whatever counted for an afterlife for cute young piglets, taken from us all too young.

And then, since it was barbecue night, we ate him.

It's what he would have wanted.

Our extra night has so far become three, thanks to the social excellence of Stephanie and Will the Panda, and the fact that we're going to be slumming it in the mountains for the next week so are taking every comfort where we can.

And then this morning, completely at random, Adam the American showed up. It's a ridiculously small world, as this is the third place we've now seen him. The chances of us leaving first thing in the morning are appearing slimmer by the moment.


Yeah, we didn't make it.

Adam the American was sterling company as usual, as was Stephanie the Australian. ATA joined us pretty late in the evening but more than made up for it by setting a fine drinking pace. Trouble was, Vinny, Stephanie and I chose to match that pace.

Particular joy was had when I found that I could stick my mp3 player into the bar's stereo system (bless you brother), becoming DJ for about an hour before I was finaly wrestled to the ground and humanely destroyed.

ATA was given the title of "Our favourite American" and Stephanie, after some debate, was awarded the "Our favourite Australian (After Bruce Cambell, Obviously)" award - still a fine accolade.

This morning we reconvened for breakfast, each stumbling bleary eyed from the strange places we had spent the night. Vinny's choice won the day - he slept in the bar.

Hopefully ATA will be joining us on our trip to the mountains which, Vinny violently assures me, WILL be starting tomorrow.

All I'm saying is we'll see.....
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tightbuns on

thank you
mate, i was beginning to think that you had fallen down a well or been eaten by cougars. Always a pleasure to accentuate a work day with a Munchausen/Vinny travelling tale or 4.

This Bruce Campbell chap, are you going to marry him when you get back to England or are you going to do it in Oz?

Keep your buns tight gentlemen and don't forget your fans who aren't climbing mountains or hanging out with Buddha.


foolsgold on

Re: thank you

We're hoping to live in sin with Bruce Cambell for the rest of our natural lives.

Just don't tell him.

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