Spitting and Nipples


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Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying - Around The World Without Flying.... Armed Only With A Cliché.

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Sunday, Aug 06, 2006

Entry 47 of 120 | show all | print this entry
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"It was a cold, bright afternoon in April as the clock struck thirteen" - 1984


Everything Vinny says about Beijing is true....

All I can add is that I went off to watch some Kung Fu after spending the day being ill while everyone was off marching up a secret wall of some greatness. I was accompanied by Kate the Australian, and it was a toss up between Kung Fu and Chinese Opera... I won.

Although they decided to make a musical of the Kung Fu Buddhism story, which is all fine and dandy but involved one or two too many ribbons and dance routines for my liking. Then they redeemed themselves by artistically working into their sensitive story a guy breaking blocks with his head. The finale was a struggle of conscience for our young hero, torn before the physical and the spiritual. Fortunately he settled it by laying on some swords, balancing a double sided bed of nails on his chest, another bloke on top of that and a paving slab on top of him - and then being hit with a sledgehammer.... If only more spiritual struggles were settled so responsibly.

Also, two other observations worth noting.

Firstly, the spitting. People talk about the spitting in China, that it is a cultural thing in the same way mugging the elderly is in England. But they don't quite prepare you for the reality. Everybody spits all the time. And we're not just talking about a chav marking his territory. We're talking hacking up for several minutes, projecting from the diaphragm and really letting rip. Seriously - it's hard to resist the temptation to cheer the best efforts. The net result however is that the floor everywhere is covered with slimy splats of spit. Makes walking more fun.

Secondly a note on fashion...

The discerning Chinaman about the town cares not for this season's summer selection from Paris. For him, pastel colours are out. As are vest tops, sunglasses and caps.

The Chinese gentry instead adopt a 'freestyle' approach to wearing their t-shirts. To do this they roll their t-shirt up to above their belly, and wander around 'airing' the big fella. The more rotund fellow can support his t-shirt with his belly - these men are held in high regard across the land. Other less fortunate in the girth department are left with two choices - they may support their t-shirt under their arms or, to really make their mark in polite society, they can hook it over their nipples.

It is only a matter of time before this fashion takes the western world by storm. Just remember - you heard it here first.


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Table of Contents
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Welcome to Sarejevo | The Further Adventures of Mak and Vonnyshow all entries
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41.Trans Mongolian Express: Day 4 - Irkutsk, Russia Jul 28, 2006 ( This entry has 14 photos 14 )
42.Trans Mongolian Express: Day 5 - Ulaan Baator, Mongolia Jul 29, 2006 ( This entry has 15 photos 15 )
43.Trans Mongolian Express: Day 6 - Dzamynude, Mongolia Jul 30, 2006 ( This entry has 5 photos 5 )
44.Trans Mongolian Express: Day 7 - Beijing, China Jul 31, 2006 ( This entry has 16 photos 16 )
45.The Great Great Wall of China - Beijing, China Aug 04, 2006 ( This entry has 13 photos 13 )
46.Bright Lights Big City Little People - Beijing, China Aug 05, 2006 ( This entry has 15 photos 15 ) ( Comments 2 )
47.Spitting and Nipples - Beijing, China Aug 06, 2006
48.Hotel Facilities - Hohhot, China Aug 09, 2006
49.Culture Shock - Yinchuan, China Aug 11, 2006
50.The Illness - Xi'an, China Aug 12, 2006 ( This entry has 5 photos 5 ) ( Comments 1 )
51.Bruce Cambell..... A Tribute - Chengdu, China Aug 20, 2006 ( This entry has 3 photos 3 ) ( Comments 2 )
52.Pandas - Chengdu, China Aug 21, 2006 ( This entry has 9 photos 9 )
53.Buddha Time (U Can't Touch This) - Leshan, China Aug 21, 2006 ( This entry has 14 photos 14 )
54.Want Some Bacon? - Chengdu, China Aug 22, 2006 ( Comments 2 )
55.Fine Dining - Kangding, China Aug 24, 2006 ( This entry has 8 photos 8 ) ( Comments 3 )
56.Picture Perfect - Litang, China Aug 30, 2006 ( This entry has 22 photos 22 )
57.Near Death Experience - Zhongdian, China Aug 31, 2006 ( This entry has 15 photos 15 ) ( Comments 3 )
58.Joani Loves Chachi - Zhongdian, China Sep 01, 2006
59.Because It's There - Tiger Leaping Gorge, China Sep 05, 2006 ( This entry has 39 photos 39 )
60.Facial Topiary - Kunming, China Sep 10, 2006 ( This entry has 8 photos 8 ) ( Comments 2 )

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