Foolsgold's travel blogs:
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The Granparetns
Entry 11 of 33 | show all | print this entry |
The Grandparents
We had two weeks at the Grandparent's house. Two long weeks of being cooked for, cleaned for, and generally spoilt in ways we never deserved.
We did odd-jobs to help out while we were there - pruning palm trees and the like. And then in the second week we really started earning our keep. We dug up and relayed their forty foot drive. Still, it wasn't really like work. We had to have a three hour Siesta break every afternoon, where we would wash the dirt off and have a quick dip in the pool before having a well earned nap.
Although, Ron (Grandpa) would come out with these casual remarks that were highly vague and sounded non-threatening, but were in fact not what we wanted to hear, e.g. "Not bad lads, not bad at all. And I think when you've got another coat on it, she'll be looking great".
It does of course take a long time to give a forty foot drive 'one more coat' of concrete. Two days in fact.
One of our more pleasant chores involved throwing away an old refrigerator. The nearest skip was down a ridiculously steep hill, which we spent a few minutes struggling down, carrying it between us. It was a natural evolution, and one to be expected. First we decided that just pushing the thing down the hill would be easier. Then of course we decided that sitting on it would be better still. So, with me on the fridge and Karim on the door, we pioneered a new sport - 'Dry slope fridge sledging'. I don't know if it's going to get the Olympic recognition it deserves, but it was certainly a lot of fun.
One Saturday night we decided to go out and celebrate our four week anniversary. We made dinner for the Grandparents, drank an awful lot, and then at midnight they were kind enough to drive us into town. There was a fair on, with these great stalls where you could shoot corks from air rifles at little miniature bottles of booze, then get to drink them if you shot them! It was great! We ended up with two bottles of Bacardi, two of vodka, a few fruit liqueurs, and a couple of bottles of what turned out - hilariously - to be 'Sans Alcohol'.
Nobody in town seemed to actually go into the night clubs. Instead, they bought drink from supermarkets and just hung around outside in huge groups drinking it. Marvellous. After more beverages, and being refused entry to the clubs for having trainers on (and we'd really tried hard to dress up), we found this little food place that served drinks. By this time we were really quite drunk. I was having to have bottles of water with each doublevodkaredbull, and Karim was on the coffees. They finally kicked us out and we went to sit down on the beach wall. For the last two hours we had been having a fantastically deep and meaningful conversation about the existence of God, and this profound line of discourse continued.
"If I drop this cigarette packet", I said, "what will happen?"
"It'll fall down".
"Will it though? Will it?" It did. "OK, it did. But what happens if I drop it again?"
"It'll fall down".
"Will it though? Oh, it does. But what will happen if I drop it a million times?"
"The same".
"But you can't be sure".
"I can".
"Well I can't be sure. You see, just because it drops a million times, doesn't mean that it'll drop on the million and first time".
"It does actually".
"Well that's where we differ".
Karim made good use of the phone line while we were at the Grandparents, and phoned his girlfriend Polly every day. And if he wasn't phoning her, she was phoning him. I was pretty much left to my own devices. While we were in Alicante the week before, I had decided to take a six week oath of celibacy. The reasons were vast and complicated, but it basically boiled down to me not wanting to have 'Pulling Goggles' every time we met new people. I thought I would have a good stab at the whole single lark, and by claiming to be celibate, I could actually have friendships with girls, instead of just wanting to shag them. I knew this would be harder than it sounded, because after all, I am male. But I was willing to give it a try in the interests of personal evolution. It was a spiritual thing.
So these long-winded conversations with Polly just kind of grated on me. One night we were watching Gladiator on video late at night. After three hours, we were still only an hour in to the film because we had to keep stopping and starting every time the phone rang.
In the end we gave up and went and sat out on the balcony. It turned out that Polly was a little upset about the whole year and a half round the world trip thing. Fair enough. There had been discussion, and maybe even one or two crossed words. Karim was not a happy bunny. It was the first time I really sensed that I wouldn't still be with him in a year and a half's time.
"It's just that she wants me to meet her halfway", Karim said. "She knows how important the trip is for me, but it's like, if I came back to Nottingham for a week after Europe, or came back a month or two early from Australia, you know what I mean?"
Now this was a situation for me. For selfish reasons, I probably should have said something like "Tell her to fuck off. Say you're shagging some Dutch girl and you want nothing more to do with her".
But you see, Karim was really in love. And I've always respected that. And she was in love with him. And it's kind of sickening in a way, but still - the people I know don't tend to be in love. When they are, and when it's this obvious, you can't really be the arsehole.
"You know your problem", I said, "you don't look at the things you have. You only look at the things you don't have. Take this for example. You're all like "Oh no! My life is so hard!" It's ridiculous. The way I see it, is you're struggling with a choice between the trip of a lifetime and the girl of your dreams, right?"
"Right".
"Now for me it's different. I just have the trip of a lifetime. And I'm happy with that. But you think I wouldn't take the girl of my dreams as well? Fuck mate, whatever happens and whatever you decide, you're not just going to be one lucky fucker, you're going to be one of the luckiest fuckers I know. Cheer up".
"I just want it all".
"And it's good to be ambitious. Mate, you know I won't hate you if you turn round and tell me you're off home because you're in love with some girl. I respect that".
"You should hate me".
"Yeah, and I will. What I mean is, I wouldn't give you a hard time about it. It's one thing to fall in love with someone - that shit happens all the time. But to have them fall in love with you as well? Out of all possible outcomes? What're the odds? Personally, all I really want in life is a situation where the girl feels the same. It's always unbalanced - either I like them too much or not enough. I want to be head over heels in love with a girl who's head over heels in love with me. And that's the kind of deal you've got going on with Polly".
"I know". He was grinning now. Bastard.
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