Future plans in the making...

Trip Start Oct 15, 2007
Trip End Jul 22, 2008

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Flag of Netherlands  ,
Sunday, March 23, 2008

Hi there,
Cannot believe it is already March, going on April! Easter weekend.. with SNOW!!!!
Already parked my motorbike outside, counting down the days to be able to ride again..
I count myself lucky being able to live in the same anti-squad appartment all this time. After a sale gone bad it has been put on the market again, so only time will tell for how much longer I can live here..but for now I am happy here and love the neighborhood!
Still working at Elsevier, not much to say about that, expect for the fact that the work is quit repetative and computer minded. Getting to know a few more people there. We went out with a few colleagues 2 weeks ago, nice to spend time with them outside the work place. Different talk, more laughs! Close contact with Mira is definitely a plus. Never realized before that we have so much in common really.
Besides seeing people and going out to diner a lot during Restaurantweek (special week when 3-course meals are offered cheap at good restaurants), I had Julean, my first couchsurfer, staying over again. This time for 3 weeks in total, as he needed a place to chill and ground himself a bit after traveling continuesly for months. I recognized the feeling and also know the nice feeling of being able to stay in a place for a little longer. So helped him out.
At the same time got a couch surfing cat as well. She dropped in and looking skinny as she was, I could not send her away without giving her some food! Next thing you know, she is still on my couch today. No clue if I will keep her, but she is funny and very cute, staring at me with her droopy eyes, so I let her stay for now ;-)
During these last weeks I tried something new (again)..been a medical guiney pig for a pharmaceutical company! No, not because I like to get needles stuck into me a lot. Yes, I do help people as I test medicin so they can buy them savely at the pharmacy. The most important factory though: easy to do for good money. This research was all about testing a birth control pil, which ment staying intern with 8 other women for 2,5 days twice and coming back 12x to give a bit of blood. Yes there are risks, no I do not think the risks are alarming. In a country like Holland where we have lots and lots of rules, animal testing and strict procedures, I really believe the risks are minimal. Easter Sunday we have our last medical test and then High Tea with a few of my fellow ex-guiney pigs to celebrate the fact that we are allowed to eat chocolate and drink coffee/tea again! These things were forbidden during the test period. What do we do when staying intern at this place? Lots really: Internet, games, watching tv, talk, sleep, feels just like a holiday camp but then in a hospital environment, with a name tag and IV-tube in your arm ;-)))
Also had my 3rd hynotic session a while ago. Difficult to explains how it works really, but I find it truly an eye-opener into myself. Seeing things/people/situations, reflecting my feelings, chaotic but it makes sense somehow as well. Lucky for me Annemarie wants to continue the sessions eventhough she does no longer need to, as the practical part of her course is finished. I am very curious about my findings in the next session. Also realized I am sinking deeper and deeper into hypnotic state with each session. Things happen fast, new events occuring. Feelings cannot always be put into words. Well, I now truly understand this saying. It happens to me during these sessions.
Also seriously thinking about studying again..Over the past few years my hunger for knowlegde has grown. So much so that I have contacted the University of Amsterdam. I know I want to get involved into humanitarian action, focused on children. My heart lies with them, the onces who need help in this world. I found a Master (International Development Studies) specialized in Childrens Rights. Unfortunately with my work/study background I cannot enroll straightaway. I will have to pass a few revelant subjects first in order to qualify. Looking into the possibilities at the moment. 
In addition to that I am also looking for place to buy in Amsterdam. Good investment, a fixed place to live, no need to be on the move again, always the possibility to sublet it when I want to go abroad for a while. Things in motion.. no decisions made yet. But it feels good. Of course I will keep you posted.
And for those of you who are wondering, Andy, the guy I met a few months ago, and I are not so much in contact anymore. He seems very happy living his single life. No need to keep me part of it. I feel it is a shame as we had a very good connection, but maybe the way we felt was not the same in the end. At the beginning of the year I had a hard time keeping my distance, trying to give him the space he needs. Now I know there is no "us" in any way. Recently we were on the phone for a long time as usual, but his true feelings were not for me to hear anymore. At the same time being bluntly open about things that make my heart cry quietly. Things changed these last 2 months from loving/close/true feelings to general/friendly/distant. Was it just me having false expectations, hanging on to things that were not really there in the first place? Maybe answers will come one day. With a smile I remember decorating the Christmas tree, exchanging our presents, reading the funny Japanese manga books back to front (they are really funny), being able to communicate without words. Yes it was only one month ;-) But it felt like much longer! Happy he was part of my life, disappointed it "ended" the way it did. Guess my feelings are not always right.
For those of you celebrating Easter, enjoy painting the eggs and good luck with the egg hunt!
Talk to you all later!
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