There are some right w***ers in this world
Mar 27, 2006
Dec 03, 2006
Went out last night to sample the local nightlife and ended up getting merrily pissed out our faces
. Met a local Aussie called Ashley who was a good laugh but he got chucked out of the bar for starting a fight. He only had one arm and one leg because he got hit by a train when he was younger but he seemed to be loving life and was chatting to everyone in the bar. We got on well with him up until he got chucked out and didn't see him after that. We went to another bar afterwards which was open till 4am. Don't remember much except being the last ones there and managing to single handily clear the dance floor. Also remember trying to get a kebab in the petrol station opposite but turns out they didn't sell them.
This morning woke up feeling as rough as usual and figured we'd try to use a shower in a caravan park. After all what's the worst that could happen? We pulled up outside and the three of us walked in to the shower block. As I was on the toilet I heard some guy asking Luke where he was staying. Luke told him we were staying in the caravan park over in the corner and thought he'd believed him and that would be the end of it. Little did we realise he was the biggest dickhead on the face of the Earth. As I came out of the toilet he was there waiting and asked me where I was staying and to point it out. I pointed over into the corner of the caravan park which was apparently the permanent resident area with en suite showers so he didn't believe me. Luke came out the shower and tried to run off and jump over the fence which kind of showed we were lying to him
. Thought I'd just keep my mouth shut and try to get back to the van when knobhead got on his radio and told the person on the other end to "immobilize the vehicle and call the cops" because he'd caught us stealing from him. I thought he was joking at first bearing in mind all we did was use the shower. Well Luke and Dave did, I never got that far. Got back to the van and found the tire was flat luckily our mechanic (Luke) came in handy and started to change the wheel. All this wasn't what made him a class one asshole though. Fair enough he had caught us using his facilities for free, even though it seemed a bit extreme to call the cops and report three people caught red handed trying to have a wash! Front headline news I'm sure. What really made him seem totally gone in the head was the fact that when we had changed the tire after waiting for the cops to turn up for about half an hour we figured we'd go to the cops ourselves because by then the guy had give us the impression he was going to call up a few of his buddies if we tried to leave before the cops got there. What we couldn't believe and actually started to worry us was the fact that when we drove off he got in his car and started following us! That wasn't the worst of it, at one point he actually tried to ram us off the road. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. He actually swerved to try and drive us off the road after we doubled back on ourselves. All this because we used his shower! I dread to think what he would have done if we'd actually done something serious like used the swimming pool he'd have probably called in the special forces or something
. If he was trying to ram us off the road we figured we'd better get to the police station before he pulls up alongside us with a shotgun. We could see him on the phone in the car and was just hoping it was the cops he was talking to and not some of his hill billy mates to take matters into their own hands. I don't think I'd ever be so happy to get pulled over as I was when the cop car showed up today. The cops realised that he was being pathetic calling them and just to get rid of this maniac we ended up giving him $36 ($12 each) even though we had offered to pay him back at the campsite for an easy life but he wasn't having any of it and ended up wanting to get the cops involved. He didn't deserve the money after letting our tire down but then we really couldn't be bothered with this nutter anymore. The cops told us this wasn't the first time they've been called out by him for some ridiculous thing. Maybe I just have a warped view on crime, if you can actually call what we did a criminal act, but to chase us all over Alice Springs and get the police involved because we used some of "his" water just shows what a sad sad life some people lead. So after all that crap I still didn't get a shower and am still hungover. Gotta love life in a van.
That's now cops, rangers, security guards, customs officials, other campers and caravan park owners we've had to deal with since getting into Australia. You'd be forgiven for thinking we're some kind of harden criminals. Joke is I'm pretty sure we've not done anything that deserved to get crap from these people. Then again I do have a biased point of view. Just as we were thinking we'd put all that hassle behind us, having arrived in Katherine yesterday and finding a nice car park (why am I referring to a car park as nice?) in the middle of town where we are actually allowed to park overnight it all just seemed to good to be true and someone was bound to have a problem with us. I guess we were tempting fate by having a good time. The w***er I'm referring to in the title is the owner of a caravan park on the outskirts of Alice Springs.