Mountainous as Jordan but a whole lot prettier
Trip Start
May 26, 2004
1
3
20
Trip End
Ongoing
Chiang Mai,
Thailand
Saturday, May 29, 2004
After paying the extortionate price for our ticket we were on our way. There was a little Thai man who would carry our bags for basically a euro. Again the little voice piped up about what I could get for a score but I quickly shut it up
01-Oh the Horror!!!
. The train was actually not too bad. Our cabin had a big seat and the back cushion swung up to make bunk beds for when we wanted to sleep. We packed all of our stuff in and settled down. Soon after the train started moving we got our first culture shock. Off I toddled to the loo and I couldn't believe what I saw before me!! Apparently its called a "squat toilet" and it is illegal as an implement of torture everywhere outside Asia. I don't want to get too graphic but basically you need to have hind legs like Shergar in order to squat over this thing long enough to do the business. Add in the fact that you are on a moving train in not exactly the most industrially advanced country in the world and I think the message is clear. After hobbling back to the cabin with my calf muscles on fire the only thing that made me feel better was informing Fi of the nightmare awaiting her. The train journey went by pretty uneventfully, apart from the odd trip to the jacks and the retelling of what new attempt we had made to conqeur the 'squat'!!. Once we got there we headed to our hotel. Unfortunately, I managed to leave one of Fiona's favourite sandals on the train (being instructed to tell you that I neglected to mention the First Aid kit she spent most of the week preparing, left for a better life servicing peoples medicinal needs of the bangkok to chang mai train!!!!). Didn't need a hairdryer after the shower that night i can tell ya!
02-Chillin' like a Villan
!The hotel was really nice. We were able to chill out and swim and relax before our jungle trip. It was here that Fi inflicted a bit of culture shock on the locals!! We went for a nice meal and we got a bottle of wine. The head waiter poured us each a glass and left us to it. When he came back a short time later to top us up he picked up the bottle and it was empty. He actually said "Oh!" and looked really confused. One look at the smiling face of Ms Bennett and he realised where the wine went so quickly and beat a hasty retreat!!
The Hilltribe Experience: Well- this certainly was an experience!!!!
The guide arrived the next morning bright and early in his pickup truck with the rest of the group. 3 of the Dutchest guys in the world and a couple of the most Irish people to exist outside of a dodgy Hollywood "oirish" film. Down to the red hair and milky white skin. Little was I to know how handy this would come in up in the jungle. Read on dear reader and all will be explained. Now the brochure said this trip is 3 elephants. To the uninitiated this means reasonably fit. You would think this means you know maybe good walker, kind of fit but not you know Roy Keane. Did it actually mean this?? Did it my arse!!
First point of call was a lovely waterfall. Guide says 19 minute walk (he had a thing for 9's always 59, 19 never 60 or 20) we thought grand, nice little stroll, few photos and back. 20 mins all uphill, climbing over rocks and logs. Poor Fi didn't bring her inhaler thinking it would be fairly easy. Well she was so red in the face by the end it was hard to tell where her hair ended and her forehead began
03-The river wild.
. We started to get a bit anxious then cos it was supposed to be a gentle stroll and it really took it out of us.Next up was hot springs were the water is over 180 degrees Celsius!! We boiled some eggs (good laugh) and went down a bit where the water was cool enough to soak in, barely cool enough, lost a bit of skin. Then we headed off on our trek. 2 hours trek. All uphill!! There we went, bag on back, poncho over back and bag!!, single file and all the time supposed to be watching out for leeches. Then it started raining, then pissing, then lashing out of the heavens!! For about an hour and a half!! We were knackered by the end, but although it was really tough, and wet, I can't help thinking it was better than if the sun had been beating down! Then we made dinner. Well actually I made dinner!!! Nice Thai yellow curry. Fi peeled a few spuds and chopped vegies so she helped.
After this we went around the village and in the huts. It was really good to see how the Hill Tribe people live. It's great how they make their houses. They all sleep in one room together! If any of our familys did that it'd work for one night and that would be it!!! Drank a cup of muck they call herbal tea. Very bitter but with a "sweet aftertaste" which I am STILL waiting for.
04-Boiling those eggs
Was a great laugh though sitting around, story telling, and just watching the smile and laugh of everyone involved when things got lost in translation!Then to bed, and by bed I mean a mat on the floor, a mozzie net and some blankets. The loo was a shack outside. When we went in torch in hand we saw a huge spider sitting on an egg sack as big as my hand. Plus another two spiders in each corner, (all the while checking for Leeches!!!!) Decided to "hold it in" for then. Its funny how you get used to it though- not long after and for the remainder of the trip, you quickly learn to go in while its still light- locate and count the big insects (or things that look like they could kill you!!)then for the rest of the night you simply shine your torch on each and as long as all are where they were earlier, its safe to go ahead!! (Luckily didn't have an instance of when one was AWOL!!!) Of course early to rise for the natives- bout 4.30! So up came the pigs and cattle and chickens. Noisy bastards. We emerged red eyed after what is without exaggeration the worst night's sleep I have ever had!!!
This is where the others white skin came into play (patience is a virtue). Fiona 10 insect bites, other Irish couple shared 30 or so. Yours truly completely unblemished!
05-Close up of the oven
! The mozzies loooooove the white skin. (Fiona here- they are also attracted to 'clean' skin-which Rob was lacking!! Mind you I quickly realised Honey and almond shower gel was not my brightest plan ever!!!) We then trekked for 2 hours to another village for lunch. Had some unbelievable climbs which killed the legs something terrible. Not to mention the Indiana Jones style- only one person can cross at a time 'bridge'- ie a log across a rushing river and you had wait until the person in front of you was one step from end before you considered getting on (for both your sakes!!!). Had lunch then had an easy trek to the elephant camp!! Took an hour and a half all up hill then all downhill. Really tough on the legs. Think this was amplified bu the torrential rain. When we reached the top of the hill and started downwards we thought we would have it easy. Not so!!! Like a mini river. I fell 4 times in half an hour and Fi toppled once.(Fi here- Be warned as some of this is tougher than you think! Rob really struggled, as did one of the Dutch lads with going down hill. Sunken feet into mud as you try and weave around trees in the general direction of the next camp. All this while the rainwater is basically functioning as a river pushing you from behind! At one stage Rob fell onto a ledge and couldn't get back up. Our guide was gone on ahead and it took me hanging onto a tree- then the strongest of the dutch guys holding onto me to get Rob back up! Hilarious! thuogh Dev wasn't laughing!!) Got to the camp covered in mud and my legs were actually shaking from the exertion
06-Luxury accomodation mountain style
. We got ready for the elephant treks. My god!!! Absolutely amazing. Huge animals. Of course Fiona was afraid to get on in case she hurt him!! Of course the guides were patient up to a point, bout point 5 seconds, when one exasperated look and she shimmied up onto the seat. Then a slow trek down and through the river. We thought this would be pretty relaxing but of course as soon as the elephants see some food or want to clean themselves they stoop into the river or lean up on a bank. The seat is a loosely made wooden thing so at times we were hanging on for dear life!! The elephants are expertly trained and the 'Mahout' only has to talk to it to get it to obey its commands. (Fi here- they do Mahout training courses- add to the to do list!!) Next we went up to the next village or as i like to call it "Little Bangkok". Bit sleazy and not at all authentic hill tribe people. Think they were a bot of a johnny come lately village who based themselves near the Elephant camp and all it was was a money making scam really! Offering massages and the like (which the Dutch guys had been warned by our hilltribe guide not to avail of as the whole set up of this village, and the masseuse's were not really 'legit'. When you saw the girls jumping up and down on their backs laughing their heads off you couldn't help but laugh, though the guys were suffering badly the next day!!) We had dinner, and a party, beer and sing along
07-Smoking the Weed!! Probably from the roof!
. Well I was beering and singing so it's close enough. Then sleep. On mattresses this time although we think they already had inhabitants. Insect bite count the next morning was quite high. Not for me of course didn't get one but my fellow Irish shared over 100 between them. Then we watched the guys build the bamboo raft and we set of down the river. Was great fun, warm, didn't rain and all was going well until we had to stop and get off cos there were serious rapids ahead and we would be too heavy so a brisk walk through the jungle would take us past them. We had no shoes so we borrowed some sandals and started off. Fi's didn't fit too well so she had to walk barefoot over all the rocks and up and down the bank sides (despite repeated offers to take my shoes)- Not a happy camper by the end!! After that was absolutely excellent to get back on the raft. Rafted another hour or so. Great fun (mostly cos no walking involved). Back to another village for dinner, some sun and a bamboo cup and certificate. Then back in the truck to civilisation.
We de-loused back at the hotel and we relaxed after our exertions. It was the experience of a life time, absolutely amazing and what this trip is all about, but I reckon I may need to get in a few more jumping jacks and some running on the spot before I attempt it again.
