I see by your horse that you are a cowboy.

Trip Start Dec 14, 2007

Trip End Dec 22, 2007

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Flag of United States Kahului, Hawaii, United States
Monday, December 17, 2007

Today is Monday December 17, the fourth day of our vacation.
As mentioned earlier, there are five of us on this trip, three adults and two kids. The three adults Becky, Eric and I are each independent minded, strong willed, pseudo-hedonists with the quest for pleasure being high upon our agendas. The kids would have been happy if all they did the entire time were to play in the pool from sunrise to sunset. The hotel had several different swimming pools, all of them fun.
When we planned this trip Becky, Eric and I made a list of things we wanted to do. After the list was created we prioritized the individual items. I had Harley, horse, and wave riding listed at the top of mine. The only item that was common top choices on all three lists was horse back riding.
When I was a very young man I was really into horse back riding. I always fancied myself a cowboy and at one time even had my own horse. I still enjoy riding but not so much so that I want the hard-work and expense that accompanies equine ownership. So in the intervening years if I wanted to go riding I had to resort to rental stables.
Rental stables are usually a bore. You get a tired old nag that has only one speed and that is slow. Then you are forced into a line with a half dozen other horses all of whom are only one stumble away from becoming glue; to plod along while maintaining the proper intervals. There are usually two "cowboy" escorts on this slow parade to ensure that the riders maintain proper pacing and intervals and obey all the rules.

The Five Riders of the Maui

On every rental stable ride I have been on these escorts yell at me at least once for breaking one or more of their silly rules. So normally rental rides suck.
Because of these recent experiences, when horse back riding in Maui was first proposed I was lukewarm to the idea. But an internet search revealed that there is a stable on Maui that actually let's you run the horses. That got my attention. The name of the place is "The Mendes Ranch". To go to their web site visit http://www.mendesranch.com .
Mendes Ranch is an actual working ranch. The land that the ranch sits upon was homesteaded shortly after World War II by Portuguese Émigré Manuel Mendes. The original acreage has increased in value to the point that the land could be sold and certainly most of the Mendes clan could retire to a comfortable life style for the remainder of their lives.
We had to leave early because our trail ride was scheduled to start at 8:30 AM. Mendes Ranch is located on the North East side of West Maui Mountain on a relatively steep incline that slopes right down to the ocean. The view is incredible.
I knew that the chi was good here as soon as we got out of the car. Not only was the view breathtaking but when we exited the car the first thing we did was to move away from the check-in office to enjoy a cigarette before we left on the ride.
The tall, lean octogenarian who runs the check-in office is the brother of the original homesteader saw us starting to walk away and he says to us, "You can smoke anywhere you wish on our ranch, even on the back of the horse." My jaw dropped; it felt like freedom incarnate! In this world of "Don't Do This" and "Don't Do That" an oasis of liberty appeared on the horizon in a desert of PC tyranny.

My Hoss

I found America again in Maui.
Enough of that, I have always wanted to write this words, "Meanwhile, back at the ranch"
about 24 people gathered to go on the ride, strangers clustered in groups ranging from 2 to 5 people. They asked the assembled group what their level of rider competency is, starting from beginner graduating up to experienced rider.
Naturally, I said I was an expert; I didn't want to get stuck with a nag. In fact I wanted the most spirited and meanest beast they had to offer. I wanted to ride a horse who felt that the one reason for its existence was to throw me off of his back. I am kind of strange that way.
I have only ridden one horse such as that and it was this angry pony named Port, but that's another story. What I did get was a big old strong bay gelding with some spirit. Eric had said that he too was an expert also got himself a runner. Becky said that she was a moderate rider and after the ride said that if she had it to do over again she would have also said that she was an expert.
The original 24 riders were then split into two groups for the trail ride. The guides set a pace that was quick enough for me, especially in light of the fact that my butt was still sore from the lava fall. During the ride the guide named Frenchy kept a running commentary about the history of the ranch, the surrounding flora and fauna, and funny anecdotes. About an hour into the ride Frenchy explains to us that as we come around the next bend we can put the pedal to the medal. My ears perked up on that one.

Eric on Cowboy.

For about a quarter of a mile we got to run our horses as fast as we could make them go. Not surprisingly it turned into a race which I won; Eric came in second, and Becky third with her moderate horse.
The beginner and other moderate riders didn't even get theirs out of first gear. Running that horse was a complete rush! After the run we all rode our horses down the hillside to a watering trough and the horses allowed a drink. It was along this stretch of ride that I managed to get yelled at by one of the guides.
What I did to warrant chastisement was to put my horse into cruise control. What I mean by that was that I let the reins lie freely across my horse's neck while I lit a cigarette. Frenchy told me never to lose control of the reins then proceeded to instruct me in the correct manner for a Marlboro Man to fire up his smoke.
After about a mile of flat land riding we came across another bend and the guides said we could open them up again. This time Eric was ready for a race. No matter what I tried to do to win, Eric and his horse "Cowboy" kept pulling away from me. Again Becky came in third.
After the ride we all gathered back at the "Chuck Wagon" and ate a terrific lunch of barbecued steaks, salad, beans, and pasta salad. Well worth the $20.00 extra for the meal. Of all the events we paid money to partake in the horse back ride was to me the best value for the dollar. The children didn't enjoy the ride very much, doubtlessly due to the fact that they were riding beginner type horses.
After the ride we headed back to the hotel via the north-west route along 340. It was during that ride that I was glad I wasn't driving. This was the same route I had traveled in the evening of the 14th. When we had traveled that route last time it had been dark and I was unable to see how far it was down the cliff side to the crashing surf below.
It was a long way down and the road was incredibly narrow. You could not speed since there was no restraining fence or barrier between the shoulder and the cliff. As we were winding our way along this one lane road a sounder of piglets suddenly cut across our path. Half a dozen little piglets barely avoided becoming a luau entree.
After the ride we pretty much called it a day. Riding horses take a lot of you.