Ni Hao. Wo shur da Ji.

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Flag of China  , Shanghai,
Sunday, October 31, 2010

I think I titled this blog: Hello.  I am a big chicken. Apparently there is some chinese context I am unaware of, so I run the risk of calling myself a prostitute.  But, chicken is what I am after.

So, as many of you are undoubtedly  celebrating what is the greatest holiday of the year ( followed closely behind by July 13th - my birthday) Halloween, I am now reveling in a well deserved hang-over from what was a fun, and interesting night out to say the least.

Halloween in China, like so many places on this fair earth, is celebrated in a half-assed manner.  North America, for all of our glowing faults, celebrates halloween like no other.  But nevertheless, alongside my trusty sidekick - who is also an avid halloweener - and two other colleagues, we decided to show Shanghai what a few Canadians can do, and attempt to penetrate the Shanghai nightlife with a bit of Halloween merriment.

To our satisfaction there were about 30 or so folks dressed up decently in costume - many, if not all who were North Americans - heavy on the America, lacking in the Canada, but what isn't?  Right?  The club was rocking, and halloween was a pretty good time.  And then what really matters took place.  Yes, the costume competition. 

Yours truly, all 5 foot 10 of me, attired in a 4 foot 7 chicken outfit, was pitted against the Green Power Ranger, Colonel Sanders of KFC lore, Daniella - who was dressed as Super Woman, and the DJ called her Super Whore, haha - and a few other ragtags including a wannabe Michael Jackson who grabbed his dick and kicked in the air for about 7 minutes.  We all were put on stage like Pandas at a petting zoo, gawked at and voted on like some perverted version of American Idol.  I shook my nut clevage at the crowd, and my tail feathers ( anyone get the Nelly reference there?) and walked away with a third place award, a ripped costume, and 500RMB - 80 bucks or so.  Not bad.  The money was heavily reinvested in drinks, my first Big Mac since 2001, and a much needed Hangover brunch today.

Halloween in China = Great success.

A now for a swirling barrage of thoughts that have been blossoming in my head over the last few weeks...

1) Is teaching all it's cracked out to be?  I'm not sure...what I am sure about though is that marking can eat it...teaching is a tough profession.  And jesus!  It is hard my friends to make Canadian geography interesting to a  Canadian kid.  It is exhausting making Canadian geography interesting to a Chinese Student.  And for all of you who remember Socials 10, and the barn burningly exciting issues of the Chateau Clique or the awe-inspiring War of 1812, well lets just say that the excitment has only just begun for these select few.

2) The students call me Bennett.  Not Mr.  Not Sir.  Not Teacher.  BENNETT!! At first I found this annoying, but I began to realize, China does not give a shit about formalities.  They get what they need done in the most efficient way possible.  Why mince words when you can address someone as Foo-yan ( waiter); low-shur ( teacher); I-ee ( servant/maid/cleaner).  Basically, the give a fuck button in China broke a while back.  I'm getting used to it.

3) I have a maid.  We call her I-ee. Back to the whole lack of formality.  She costs 6 bucks an hour.  She cleans everything except me. I love it.

4) What do you think is the most under-rated sequel of all time time?  I was thinking Grease 2, followed by The Return to Oz. Thoughts?  Talk amongst yourselves.

5)  I fucking love air drumming...I find myself doing it all the time.  I'm writing a short story on it, soon to be turned into a movie.  Keep you posted on that.

6)  Miss my soccer team back home, but have been adopted by a team that is called Beaver United.  Should be called the United Nations FC; 14 nationalities, and two Lukas Bennett's on the team.  I had a mindfuck moment then and there. 

7)  I got a rice cooker today, so I begin dabbling in the wild world of Chinese cooking.  Doubtful, but we'll see.

And I have my first houseguests coming in two days: Daniella's sister and one of her friends.  See how that goes!!!

I miss my friends ( you all) and family...please come visit!!!  China is big enough for all of us, even if my apartment isn't.

Oh, and I've stopped shitting my pants.  Hooray!!

Love you all,

Jet Bennett

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No way.... on

Good to see more entries son! for #5, you should probably see this:

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