Ah, the wait is over

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Flag of China  , Shanghai,
Thursday, September 23, 2010

The wait, as they say - whoever they are - is over.  No firewall tardation to battle...no more useless 40 dollar internet diversions to pay for...just pure unadulterated whimsical, cynical and slightly biased thoughts on my life in China.

I can promise you a few things.  ONE: This blog will make you want to live here.  TWO: This blog will only make you want to live here because you miss me and for no other reason.
  China is a challenge; one needs to be up for it.  Like the Mongols facing the Great Wall - a challenge.  Like Nixon trying to negotiate with Mao - a challenge.  Like trying to walk from your house to your job in ten minutes without barfing out your ears because your eyes are covered so as to not see the heinous road conditions; your mouth is covered so you cannot taste anything in the air, and your nose is covered so as not to smell what 14,000,000 or so assholes, burps and toilets smell like.  A challenge?  I'd say it's of Chinese proportions.

Wanna come yet?

In 30 days China has already posed to me and Daniella a series of challeneges.  Oddly enough not many have been occupational either.

On Day 2 our taxi hit another taxi.  A one minute argument ensued.  100rmb was thrown from our cabbie to the other.  Problem solved.

On Day 4 or 5 we went for our first 'real' Chinese dinner.  On day 15 or 16, I was still taking dumps that were like pouring a boiled kettle of water into a toilet.  In other words, uncomfortably hot and watery.  Gross right?

On Day 17 or so our cab driver told us that our street did not exist and he wouldn't drive us to our aparment.  If that man understood a word of English I would have told him to fuck his rice.

And every other day or so we come across the usual barrage of early morning throat clearing, exhaust huffing and credit card malfunctions.

But with all that said, for all the troubles this place has casued me, I fall deeper in love with it.  China to me is like a meth-addicted kid.  It tries on a tri-daily basis to break you and ruin your life or spirit...and all you can do is love it more.  (sorry for all the meth-addicted readers)

So this is the blogging start of the blogging blog.  ( replace blog with any swear word)

I hope this finds you well, and I hope I find you soon in the land of perpetual challenges, beauties and greatness.

Master Luke
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aszliross on

Stop eating duck heads...

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