Sex in the city

  Pattaya, Thailand
Sunday, July 20, 2008

I once spent a day in Pattaya back in 2001. I remember snippets, but as somebody who lived there was showing me around things didn't sink in as much as they do when you are exploring for yourself.

Dirty beach

The hotel is right across the road from the beach. The beach itself was a bit of a disappointment; the distance from the road to the sea is quite short, even at low tide, and about half that distance is taken up by row after row of deck chairs, all crammed together and all under the cover of umbrellas which left the area beneath gloomy and claustrophobic. I had pictured lying on a chair on the beach while reading books and slowly roasting, but now I had the choice of sitting on the sand in the area where many people walk by, or going under the umbrellas with lots of other people chatting, sweating and smoking. In the end I gave the beach a miss, save for some long walks.

Trimming

The beach is lined with some lovely trees, and these add a welcome border with the noisy road. The trees have obviously grown over the months since they were last trimmed, and since this is officially "off-season" in Pattaya it was time to trim them again. This involved a team of workmen watching one guy with a chainsaw make a complete mess of the pavement.

My bike

After a couple of days finding my way around and walking for hours, I realized that Pattaya was quite large. I thought about hiring a pushbike, but the mopeds caught my eye instead. This meant I could whiz around at my heart's content, and I covered plenty of ground popping up to Jomtien beach and exploring the factory outlet stores, and most frequently the Tesco's store which supplied me with fruit, drinks and some cheap speakers for my computer (3 quid!)

Baby bucket

My favourite part of using the moped was, bizarrely, when I got a puncture! I was miles away from the hotel and hence also from the place that I had hired the bike. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do but I carried on, very slowly and, as it was a rear puncture, I shuffled myself as far forward as I could to take some weight off the back wheel.

Hole in the road

I was in a part of town that I had not visited before, and I decided just to try and make my way back to the hotel. I took a turn down a small country road that seemed to be in the right direction, and within 30 seconds I rode past a motorbike repair shop...absolute bonus! 10 minutes and just a few Baht later and I was on my way with a new inner tube and a big grin on my face about the randomness of finding that shop.

Drinking street

Pattaya, if I am completely honest, is a bit smelly. I think this comes from the bins. There is a very healthy nightlife here; almost all the streets near the beach have many bars and restaurants. These places throw out their rubbish at closing time, in the early hours of the morning, and at some time during the following day the rubbish trucks pick it up. However, in the meantime, the sun has come up and works its rotting magic on the contents of those bins, leaving a pungent odour that is consistent all along the beach road. I could be wrong, this might the smell of a local fruit, but I doubt it. Of course all is well by night time when the other senses are the ones to be affronted by a combination of neon lights, loud music, hot girls and lots of beer.

Walking street

Pattaya is known for its sex entertainment venues. Walking street is one, but by no means the only, focal point of this. There are hundreds of bars lining the main street and its offshoots. There are beer bars, where you are joined by a friendly bar girl within seconds of sitting down. There are go go bars, where you head indoors to witness many girls dancing in very little, looking for a man to choose them. There are massage parlours, restaurants, Thai boxing venues and nightclubs.

Signs

The sheer amount of entertainment venues around town was staggering, but the part of Walking Street that I want to dwell on was something that I found fascinating. As you walk along bar street the population is made up of about 50% men looking for fun; stag weekends, married men on "golf" trips, travel blog writers, that sort of thing. 40% were women heading to or from work, or holding up placards advertising the bar that is paying them to wear short skirts and knee length boots. Then there are about 10% pure observers. But here's the thing, I lost count of how many families were wondering along this street staring at the activity. Don't get me wrong, if you are a married couple staying in Pattaya then these bars are not for you but I understand that you are curios to see the comings and goings, but why take your 6 year old kid with you? Admittedly you cannot see any nudity from the street, but if you are staring at lecherous old men with their arms around 19 year old girls then so is your son or daughter. Nice life lesson there, well thought through.

Tattoo?

Now, this is a year off to find myself. So the big question: should I get a tattoo? It feels like the right thing to do, very mid-life crisis. But I have no idea what to get, or where to put it. The other thing that crosses my mind is what happens if I do "find myself" and then the tattoo is not in keeping with those findings? I think too much.

Irish pub

Irish pubs are everywhere. That is because there are Irish people everywhere and they do like a little tipple from time to time. They are handy when living in Asia, as they are fairly similar to English pubs and so have quite a homely feel when you need one. Needless to say I found one in Pattaya, on Walking Street.

The ten days I spent in Pattaya were very relaxing. I highly recommend hiring a bike, getting as many Thai massages as your body can cope with (no oil and plenty of pummeling is the norm) and just getting outside. It is rainy season, but I was only washed out one day, which helped to break some oppressive humidity, and the rest of the time the rain cleared up in the early morning.

It was an excellent place to relax at the start of my adventure, it took my mind off work and got me excited about the coming year. I didn't do a number of interesting activities, such as diving or sea fishing, as I was on my own and wanted to wind down rather than filling every minute, but I had such a good time I may be back to do those things and more.

Recommended for nightlife Walking Street
Recommended hotel Siam Bayview
Recommended for snacks Tesco Lotus