Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

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  Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa
Friday, June 5, 2009

South Africa is such a land of contrasts...which is this week's excuse for not knowing where to start our current blog of blather. Do I start with the description of more of South Africa's amazing scenery, or with the contrasting visual of Tracy's cherry sized, pus-infused boil?  Do I give you an account of the male lion we spotted strutting proudly through Addo Elephant Park, or instead, a narrative on the two million (definitively non-strutting) inhabitants of one of Cape Town's largest townships.

Not because I want to, but to make the attached pictures relevant, I'm going to get the boring "scenic places" out of the way first.  Then we'll get into our current misadventures (because no doubt most of you secretly prefer reading about our misfortunes anyway). 

After Kruger National Park, we drove due south for nine hours to hike through Royal Natal (a scenic part of the Drakensburg Mountains)

Black Backed Jackel, Addo

.  We then continued south through the stunning Golden Gate Highlands National Park on another 10 hour drive, this time to Addo Elephant Park (for more game drives).  Next was a trip along the southern coast (including the famous Garden Route), while enjoying Tsitsikamma National Park (spectacular, pounding waves), beautiful Plettenberg Bay (including witnessing a wild dolphin do a backflip), and Wilderness National Park (yet another different, but thoroughly enjoyable, side of South Africa).  So how's that?...I just summarized two weeks and a few thousand kilometres of South Africa, and all the related "gushing" in less than 100 words.  And believe me, we could gush about South Africa for the whole blog, but then you wouldn't get to read about chakalaka and pus...stay tuned, that was just a "teaser".

Yes, we have been doing a fair bit of driving, and it has not been without its drama.  Specifically, the problems we encountered on our way to Addo Elephant Park.  We left Royal Natal at 5:30am because, in order to meet Addo Park's sunset gate closing time of 5:30pm, we needed to complete a (fast-paced) 10.5 hour drive...this allowed a nice 1.5 hour cushion for any unexpected surprises.  Like inclement weather, for example.  Our overly excitable rental car was nice enough to sound the alarm that the early morning 3 degrees Celsius temperature in the Drakensburg Mountains, was in fact cold enough for snow

Golden Gates Highlands Sunrise

.  I wish our car was less concerned about being a half-assed meteorologist (...like duh, you need some moisture to go with that cold weather!) and more concerned about certain aspects of its own performance...like not blowing tires.  But no such luck, as that small explosion sound from the back of the car was not the chili-induced, "Excuse me if that was me" smelly kind, but rather the sound of the tire blowing. 

I've changed plenty of tires in my time, but I have to say this one was a little more difficult - the fully packed trunk, the hidden wheel nuts, the time pressures, and the just plain weird car jack all contributed.  I'm sure that not wanting to be stranded in the middle of South Africa as night fell helped spur me on to success.  In my haste to get restarted, we had an "Oops, we almost lost Michael moment" as I actually started driving away without him...apparently he didn't hear Tracy sound the call for the kids to get back in the car.  Interestingly enough, it was his sisters who, after a brief debate, let us know that Michael was still up in a tree he had climbed.  We crossed our fingers that a second tire wouldn't blow, and made it into Addo Elephant Park with 20 minutes to spare.  Ultimately our time pressures were fictional, as it turned out we could have checked into our cabin at any time of the day or night.  It would have been more impressive had the car clarified this little fact for us, instead of providing us with irrelevant weather trivia

Zebras in Addo Elephant Park

.

Our car "issues" continued the next day as immediately after our early morning game drive, I noticed we had a second flat tire.  5 minutes and 37 seconds later, however, that tire was off and I was flipping the tire iron into the trunk, like a freshly fired six shooter back into its holster.  "Very impressive Quick Draw!" cackled* my admiring wife, "but given that our other tire is flat, what are you going to replace it with?"  "Hmmm...good point!" I admitted to myself. 

[*in case my subtlety is lost on you, I used the word "cackle" to remind you of Tracy's witch-like, boil.]

Thankfully, just then Johnny Park Ranger happened along and took me, and my tire, to "maintenance".  While I consider myself an environmental kind of guy, their "natural fix" did catch me by surprise.  After finding the hole in the tire, they enlarged it with an awl, and then stuck some sort of burning bulbous root into the hole.  "All fixed...No official charge!" said the ranger and the gas station guy as they stuck out their hands for a tip.  "30 Rand for everyone!" I gleefully agreed.  About 30 minutes later the car rental company guy showed up with a replacement tire for the one that had blown the previous day

Kudo, Addo Elephant Park

.  He also confirmed that the magic smoking root was in fact the answer to all of life's problems, including being an accepted way to patch a tire in South Africa.  Who knew? (and two weeks later that tire seems as good as new!)

And just to close off Addo Elephant Park, while it is no Kruger National Park, we thoroughly enjoyed it.  The game drives were once again successful and we saw some animals we had not previously seen,  such as the black backed jackal, the red hartebeest, wild ostrich, and yellow mongoose.  And, of course, there were a boatload of elephants, including the cute babies that were chasing warthogs just for fun.  The highlight though was on our final game drive, as we came upon a majestic male lion.  Amazing to see in the wild! (Okay, so I still needed to do a little more gushing).

The "natural" way of fixing a tire, got us thinking about the other aspects of South Africa that seem a little different than what we are used to.  Specifically:

-    At one of the natural parks we purchased a few cans of Chakalaka (a vegetable curry type thing) for lunch.  The strange aspect of this dish was that it was labeled "Mild and Spicy".  In the rest of the world, "mild" and "spicy" are opposites but apparently not so in South Africa, as we have seen numerous items labeled in this manner;

·    After our daily BBQ's, we decided it would be nice to use the hot charcoal to roast marshmallows.  A trip to the grocery store resulted in a dizzying array of flavoured marshmallows, including light brown Cappuccino and dark brown Espresso

Golden Gate Highlands National Park

.  Strangely, there were no plain white ones...perhaps it's some sort of reverse apartheid retribution thing;

·    And then there's the game of "What the $@!%$! Does This Sign Mean?"  We came across 'Exhibit A', and were completely flummoxed.  To set the stage, we came upon this sign just before we went across a narrow one-lane bridge.  It took us three days before we figured it out, and only then because we saw the sign in a completely different context.  If you immediately know what this sign means you will have confirmed that the entire Elop clan is, indeed, not all that swift.

And speaking of swift, did you know that ostriches can run at 80km/hr?  [How's that for a segue!]  We were ostrich virgins (from a knowledge perspective, that is) until we made a trip to Oudtshoorn, the ostrich capital of the world.  At a visit to a local ostrich farm we learned many other completely irrelevant ostrich facts that we thought we'd share with you (go ahead and throw them into your next dinner party conversations if you wish):

·    One ostrich eyeball alone is bigger than the ostrich's brain.  That would help explain why the ostriches we saw kept pecking at their shiny wire fence

Addo Elephant Park

.  We were told they do it for no other reason except that the wire is shiny...perhaps tomorrow it will be tasty(?);

·    These birds of little brain will keep laying eggs as long as there is between one and 16 eggs in their nest.  They don't clue in to the fact that the farmers keep stealing all but one of their eggs, just so they will keep laying;

·    The ostrich characteristic of having only two toes indicates that it is a flightless bird, as no bird with less than four toes can fly.  In fact the ostrich is in the same scientific family as another one of our favourite "evolutionary challenged" birds that never got around to flying, the kiwi bird;

·    One ostrich egg (which, btw, can support a person's weight) will make one monster omelet (or "quiche" for you male readers who are comfortable with their masculinity), as it is equivalent to 24 chicken eggs;

·    One kilogram of ostrich feathers used to be worth more than one kilogram of gold, but that was in a day when ostrich feathers in hats were considered fashionable (beyond the ones stuck in beer-stained Oktoberfest hats);

·    You can ride ostriches, as Michael and Tracy successfully did

Addo Elephant Park

.  If you do not believe me, they will proudly show you the "official ostrich driving licenses" that they received in recognition of this feat...so why am I still doing all the driving?;

And speaking of animals and driving, we noticed that on our drive to Cape Town we were going to travel right past Bontebok National Park.  What kind of animals can one see in Bontebok National Park, you may ask?  Why, the rare and endangered bontebok, of course.  So, we whipped out our Wildcard (which provides us free access to all of South Africa's national parks, and has now been used on 20 occasions), and headed in for an unscheduled two hour game drive.  Success!...more new animals.  We saw a handful of bonteboks, the Cape Mountain Zebra (not to be confused with the Burchell's Zebra), and a rhebok...who even knew these animals existed?  And for good measure, we saw a black-shouldered kite, and surprisingly, a snow capped mountain.  Maybe our car's "weather spidey senses" aren't so bad after all.

So, after the bonus game drive, it was on to Cape Town, where we received our first continual bad weather since Australia...7 days of dreary damp weather to be precise.  One lady told us that Cape Town weather is like a woman.  While I was contemplating how it was possible for weather to be moody, manipulative, and bad with maps, she went on to say that Cape Town weather could never make up its mind

Exhibit A

.  "Oh, I get it now," I said, as I smiled sweetly at my wife.  Highlights of Cape Town included:

·    A day trip to nearby Stellenbosch, South Africa's premier wine producing region...need I say more?  [Parenting note:  Nintendo DS's are a perfectly acceptable form of distraction for children while their parents are indulging in multiple wine tastings (that is except for little Sarah, who seems to quite enjoy sampling wine... "Mommy, this is better than church, cause I got more than one type of wine, and the bread tastes better!")]

·    Enjoying the requisite good Table Mountain views (during the few minutes of sunshine we experienced one afternoon);

·    On the drive into town, we saw the most magnificent rainbow we have ever seen...even better than the last "most magnificent rainbow ever" we saw in Alaska;

·    Seeing the cute African Penguins in Boulders Bay on our drive to the Cape of Good Hope.  They used to be called Jackass Penguins (because their call is exactly like that of a donkey) but apparently political correctness has reached the Animal Kingdom as well...hence the name change;

·    Learning more about apartheid through visits to the Nelson Mandela museum, and to Robben Island, where he was incarcerated for 18 years;

·    Taking a tour of Cape Town's impoverished townships

Ostrich of Little Brain

.  After being assured that the residents don't mind white tourists (because of the money that gets brought in), we spent a half day learning about the injustices heaped on the Africans, and feeling guilty about it, even though we had nothing to do with it;

·    Visiting GAPA ("Grandmothers Against Poverty and Aids") in the townships and proudly seeing a Canadian flag displayed.  A large portion of the funding for this organization comes from Canada's own Stephen Lewis Foundation and the director there informed us that without Canada, there would be no GAPA;

·    Hearing our driver repeatedly, and angrily, refer to the aggressive township taxi drivers as "cockroaches!!"...if you've seen the movie Scarface, picture Al Pacino saying the same thing.  Fortunately, unlike Al, our driver wasn't packing a gun (...at least not one that we noticed);

·    And staying with the social commentary, while we have seen poverty in many countries, never have we seen such a contrast as in South Africa.  By that I mean, seeing affluent neighbourhoods literally 100 metres away from some of the worst ramshackle shanty towns (Oh, I mean "informal settlements") imaginable

Ride Michael Ride!

.  That being said, it was quite noticeable how many new government-funded houses have been built to replace the shacks (although these new houses are still tiny, at least they have electricity and plumbing).  Unfortunately we were told there is a backlog of 2 million that are still to be built;

·    And speaking of affluence, we enjoyed going to an upscale mall and indulging in Woza Wednesday at the movie theatre.  In Canadian terms, "Woza Wednesday" is analogous to $2 Tuesdays (except it was on Wednesdays and all the movies cost CAD$2.14, but "$2.14 Wednesdays" doesn't have a great marketing ring to it).  We took in two movies, sandwiched around Tracy having a surgical procedure done on her then walnut-sized, pus-infused boil.  The "golden yellow" popcorn topping somehow didn't seem as appetizing after that.   Time will tell whether it was a good idea to have this "boil removal" technique done at a local South African mall.  In looking at the big gaping hole that remains in Tracy's underarm, I'm wondering whether it would now make sense to take her to the garage, and have the hole filled with one of those smoking bulbous roots;

And to close off on this rambling blog, a few miscellaneous comments:

·    If you need to get an idea of the capability of South African drivers, I give you the example of the car driving next to me in Cape Town

Cape Town in Front of Table Mountain

.  While daydreaming about a gemsbok (I haven't seen one of these beautiful antelope yet), I might have drifted out of my lane.  The driver next to me, a lady no less, was able to honk at me while simultaneously talking on her cellphone and smoking.  I was too startled to notice whether she was also applying makeup;

·    While hiking in Royal Natal we passed many ladies walking down the mountain, carrying huge bundles of ferns on their heads.  Tracy, to the delight to the Africans watching, tried to pick up one of the heavy bundles.  If I had to guess at what one of the ladies said in Afrikaans that was greeted with a chorus of laughter, it was something like, "skinny little white runt doesn't deserve a bull stud like that";

·    We had a second "Oops, we almost lost Michael moment"...this is getting to be a bad habit.  As alluded to above, Tsitsikamma National Park has some amazing rocky shoreline to go along with its pounding surf.  In one of those "because it is there" moments, Michael decided to try to get to a rocky outcropping without getting a soaker.  No sooner had he gotten there when Mother Nature decided to start throwing some freakishly large waves at the surrounding rocks, including one that went right over Michael's previously taken path

Stellenbosch Wine Region, Near Cape Town

.  It would have surely knocked him over.  This provided us with a few tense moments (especially because there was no nearby mall (or garage) to take an injured person to).  Fortunately the waves subsided, and Michael was able to safely return [Note: for clarity, I didn't have that NASCAR race spectator, "pass me another beer while I wait for the car wreck" attitude, as I had seriously started considering thinking about formulating a rescue plan.];

·    And just to be sure you understand we are placing all of our children at equal risk, we went on a hike at Robberg National Park during our stop in beautiful Plettenberg Bay.  On a "never to be allowed in the United States for fear of a lawsuit" hiking trail, we had to scramble along some cliff side rocks that were perilously sloped towards the churning ocean below.  It didn't help that they were slippery from yet more pounding surf...nice scenery though;

·    And speaking of Plettenberg, you may recall our Johannesburg friend/hostess/travel outfitter Heidrun.  Her parents live in 'Plett' and we had arranged to take them out to dinner to thank them for using their time share points to book our Cape Town accommodations.  A delicious meal, great company and lots of laughs.  And before we knew what hit us, we were cleverly manipulated into not even being allowed to pay...it's true, those Germans are smarter than us

African Penquins, Cape Area

!  And, Tracy's been raving about her steak ever since...

·    In the kitchens of one of the backpacker places we stayed in, they had the gas burner propped up by a small can of oil...that can't be safe, can it?

·    Over the last 12 months we thought we had used all modes of transportation, but we got to try a new one.  While on a hike in Wilderness National Park, we had to cross a river on a pontoon raft that was propelled (by us) using cables and pulleys.  Too much work...I'll take a bridge, instead of a little adventure any day!

Well that's it for now.  My apologies for a disjointed blog entry, but that's what happens when you fall behind and try to bundle 3 weeks into one entry.  And I suppose it doesn't help my concentration to hear Tracy stirring a cauldron in the kitchen while muttering "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble....

Post your own travel photos for friends and family More Pictures

Shantytown, Cape Town	On the Drive to Cape Town	Harvesting at Royal Natal	Tsitsikamma Shoreline
Cathedral Peak, Royal Natal	Tsitsikamma National Park Sunset	Fun in Plettenberg Bay	One of Addo's Many Birds...White Eyed Something...
Lioness at Addo Elephant Park	Buffalo, Addo Elephant Park	Baby Elephant, Addo	Warthog, Addo
Royal Natal Area	Twelve Apostles, Table Mountain, Cape Town	Robberg Nature Reserve, Plettenberg	Robberg Nature Reserve, Plettenberg
Royal Natal	Royal Natal National Park	Royal Natal	Tsitsikamma National Park

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