A Kiwi Christmas

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  Kaikoura, South Island, New Zealand
Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"Gee Daddy, it's really hot outside!  Won't Santa work up such a sweat that he smells worse than your socks!?!"  "Mommy! Mommy!, Will Santa put sunscreen on the reindeer?...you know there's a hole in the ozone layer over here."  "Daddy, does Santa really bungee jump from his sleigh into houses to deliver presents in New Zealand??"  "Hey Mommy, I didn't know Santa talked with a New Zealand accent.  And why did he have an All-Blacks rugby tattoo?!"  "Hey, the Tooth Fairy took two nights to find us in New Zealand...do you think Santa will be smarter???"

And so went our Christmas in balmy New Zealand!  Different...yes.  Disappointing...not in the least!
We spent Christmas in Wellington with Tracy's cousin Janet, her husband Fred, and their three daughters.  Knowing that we don't inflict ourselves (I mean bless our presence) on just anyone, they readily accepted our invitation to spend the holidays with them

Christmas (and Janet's B'Day) Dinner

.  In rating their hospitality, we would give them an "A" for Services [internet and laundry were included], an "A" for Entertainment [lots of lively conversation, and a screening of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas], and an "A" for Culinary Aptitude, [Janet's "4 Bean Salad Supreme" gets our coveted Golden Belch rating].  But, unfortunately, Hospitality Etiquette gets marked down to a "C" because they sent us away with a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer.  It was supposed to be us bearing gifts on arrival...rookie mistake on their part!  Despite this miscue, we would still have been willing to recommend their place to any future Wellington visitors, if only they weren't moving themselves and all their belongings back to Canada. 

Some of the highlights of our New Zealand Christmas include:

·    Thinking that we might actually have a white Christmas because of the thick white fog swirling about on Christmas Eve...unfortunately, we awoke to cloudless blue skies, brilliant sunshine and a temperature of about 26 degrees;

·    Seeing the Pohutukawa tree, the New Zealand Christmas Tree.  This tree's brilliant red flowers bloom just in time for Christmas

Pohutukawa Tree (NZ's Christmas Tree)

!

·    Being able to celebrate Christmas a full 18 hours ahead of our family and friends at home.  The kids gave that concept a "two-thumbs up".  I have to admit I got a perverse pleasure from being able to call home while our parents were in the midst of preparing Christmas dinner, knowing that we were already on Boxing Day, with our Christmas mess cleaned up;

·    Going caroling while Megan (Janet and Fred's 16 year old daughter) delivered some presents to her friends...she claimed she was embarrassed but I can't imagine why.  As a reward for our singing we got to hoist a Christmas beer with a three-time New Zealand rally car champion (also known as the father of one of Megan's friends).  By the way, he is entering a rally in Newfoundland and is going to land his car in Vancouver and "take a few days to drive to the rally"...he must be fast!!  [Americans: please refer to a map of Canada to understand this attempt at geographic humour; and no, humour is in fact spelled correctly...it's the metric version];

·    Going on a Christmas Day hike in the hills/mountains(?) surrounding Wellington and enjoying the stunning views.  And for another Christmas first, Tracy got a little sun burned (...she should have listened a little more attentively to Sarah's question about the reindeer, the suntan lotion and the ozone layer);

·    Witnessing the often attempted, but rarely successful, "hidden from the parents, stealthy text messaging to friends while pretending to fill up the water pitcher during Christmas dinner" maneuver

Christmas Eve Caroling, Laura, Taryn & Sarah

.  Nice going Megan...you nailed it!;

·    Taking the family room couch out onto the back deck to catch Christmas day rays while enjoying a chilled glass of wine ...very "Kiwi" of us apparently [Educational note: New Zealanders are known as Kiwis; to avoid offense, the fruit and birds should be referred to as Kiwi fruit and Kiwi birds respectively.];

And so, Christmas was a different experience for us this year.  But because we were able to spend it with such a wonderful family, it was truly brilliant.  And just to put the cherry on top, as we were leaving their house, they started performing the "So Long, Farewell..." song from the Sound of Music including the full actions....thanks Janet, Fred, Megan, Claire and Taryn, we'll remember this Christmas for a long time!!!

So, the 26th came.  After explaining to our kids several dozen times why we couldn't stay longer, we were back to our "freestyle" travelling.  As we have mentioned before, we are finding New Zealand to be very scenic and interesting.  This continued at the Wellington port where we arrived for our ferry ride to Picton (South Island) to find it absent of cars and people, and, uh oh, absent a ferry...very interesting, indeed

Christmas Day Hike: Sarah & Fred

!  Any delusional thoughts that we were simply early quickly dissipated when I saw the (fake?) empathetic look on the clerk's face..."Sorry sir, but you booked the ferry leaving from Picton, not going to Picton...are you Australian??" [Educational Point: Kiwis are intensely competitive with Aussies].  "And, unfortunately we are sold out for the next 5 days...you can try 'standby' on the ferry that will get you into Picton just past midnight if you want.   Tough break with the young kids and all."

Hmmm, do I lie, and tell Tracy that our ferry has been delayed for 6 hours, and hope "standby" turns into something good?  Or maybe I go with the story that her cousin called me in tears because she desperately missed our company, and wanted us to stay with them another 4 days and 19 hours?  I deemed both ideas unworthy of my high standard of creative fibbing, and instead deployed the aggressive blame technique, "Tracy, you shouldn't have given me that extra beer when I was booking the ferry online!!!"...in hindsight, I should have gone with one of the lies!

"No worries" as they say in this part of the world.  Plan B was to check out the competing ferry company.  Plan C was to try the late night "standby" ferry option.  Plan D was to spend 5 more days on the North Island (which we had planned to do at the end of our New Zealand time anyway)

Old Man Tree

.  As for Plan E, Cousin Janet and family are probably happy they didn't have to find out what it was (especially since their moving vans were coming in two days time)!

Plan B was the winner, and in fact it turned into Plan B+ as the competing company had room on their early evening crossing.  This allowed us to explore Wellington's Te Papa (free) museum for a few more hours (...we had visited the museum earlier in the week to check out their Colossal Squid exhibit).  Considering the original ferry crossing ticket was fully transferrable to our future return ferry crossing, I couldn't have planned this debacle any better.

Our first stop on the South Island was Kaikoura, a small coastal town with beautiful turquoise water lapping up against the base of snow capped mountains...amazing!*  Add in the seals that lounged about on the rocks waiting to be photographed, a local winery, some beaches and a fun Sheep Shearing show, and it's a lovely place to fritter away a few days. [Educational Note:  the world record holder sheared approximately 800 sheep in 8 hours, so he did a sheep every 37 seconds...now that's stamina!!]

But before you get the impression that Kaikoura is yet another of New Zealand's picture perfect destinations, I should point out that it was not all smooth sailing:

·    They don't have a Countdown grocery store.  One of our first acquisitions in New Zealand was a Countdown customer loyalty card.  Even though our "short-term" travelers' card is not laminated like the "real" cards it still packs in a lot of savings power

Te Mata Peak

.  Some might deem it a tad strange, but Tracy and I get really excited to see how much our card saved us this time...it's like a Vegas slot machine that you don't put money into and it never loses;

·    We had to pay for internet access for the first time in New Zealand.  It's not like I didn't do a thorough job of trolling along both the motel strip and the nearby residential areas for wireless access.  There were plenty of networks, but either the signal was too weak to reach the car, or the network was secured...damn!  This one is less about the money and more about my "man vs. nature" competitive nature...the battle of Kaikoura may have been lost, but the campaign for Christchurch is still to be waged;

·    Finding accommodations was a little more difficult in Kaikoura, and we ended up in a backpacker hostel.  This means shared bathrooms, and a common kitchen...no issues there except we have grown spoiled in the self contained New Zealand motels.  The problem was more about feeling out of place with the much younger travelers.  As an example, we were making dinner earlier tonight and one of the kids was blasting some music that we clearly didn't recognize.  We're not sure if he heard us talking about it, but he changed the music to Frank Sinatra...C'mon, we're not that old!!;

·    The children learned about tides in Kaikoura, as we were able to "rock jump" out to see the seal colony

Kaikoura

.  30 minutes later and, "Daddy, where did all the rocks go, and how did we get on this island??"  Better yet, how do we get off?...all good fun and adventure;

So we continue to thoroughly enjoy the sights and experiences of New Zealand and would highly recommend a journey here to anyone.  But, before you arrive, be forewarned that New Zealand has a darker side...and it shows itself in a company called Hell's Pizza:

·    This company sells basic pizzas named after the 7 deadly sins, including Sloth, Gluttony, Lust and Greed, and gourmet pizzas named Serpent, Purgatory and Sinister (for vegans)...I can understand the naming of the last one, as vegans just scare me!;

·    There is a $4 "deliverance" fee;

·    Their chili peppers go from Flame Kissed (mild) to Forked Tongue (medium) to Ring of Fire, to, you guessed it, Hot as Hell;

·    Their locations are listed under the heading "Where the hell are we?";

·    Instead of the tiny legal disclaimer notice on their marketing material of "all rights reserved", they have "all wrongs reserved";

·    And my personal favourite, their pizza boxes are perforated so you can break out a section at the bottom

Kaikoura Sunset

.  This section then folds into a small coffin for easier storage of leftover slices...marketing genius!

And just to prove that they are not alone, there is another company in this part of the world called Wicked that rents out camper vans.  Their "thing" is painting the outside of the vans with all kinds of outlandish themes (including "X" rated ones).  Now as background, I grew up with a friend who obsessed over the band KISS.  This obsession included dressing up as their lead singer for Halloween 20 years in a row (in which the spandex outfit was stretched indecently to the max for the last 12 of those years) and painting his car in true KISS style.  Well, until yesterday I thought I had seen the one and only KISS themed vehicle.  Wicked proved me wrong.

And to end this blog, I need to correct an omission to our earlier entry examining the many extreme sports introduced to us by the Kiwi's.  We neglected to mention the sport of Extreme Ironing, which has participants attempting to iron clothes in dangerous (or just plain wacky) situations.  One such example is ironing a shirt before you deploy your parachute while skydiving.  Only in New Zealand!!!
 
*To be completely factual, our first stop on the way to Kaikoura was actually the Montana Winery in Blenheim, replete with the winery themed children's playground..."Wait here kids, while we find out what wine tastes like...oh, and don't talk to any strangers!"

Post your own travel photos for friends and family More Pictures

Kaikoura Wildlife	One of Many Relaxed Seals	Sheep Shearing Show Fun!	Misty New Zealand Coast, South Island
Tracy and Another Winery	Enjoying the Kaikoura Weather	Beautiful New Zealand	"Emergence"
Michael Enjoys the Beach	I Want to Rock & Roll All Night!	Twilight Cows	Michael had a Little Lamb

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