Tuts and Touts

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  Hurghada, Red Sea and Sinai, Egypt
Friday, November 14, 2008

There once was a big doofus poet
Whose name was "The Kev", don't you know it,
His poems were lame
And brought him no fame
Except as a big doofus poet!

Michael Elop, November 2008

Life continues for us in Egypt and while Kevin (in spite of his self-professed marketing brilliance) has not yet been crowned an honorary Pharaoh, the poem bestows upon him another prestigious title. Now, for anyone who might consider Michael's work disrespectful, I assure you that Kevin's ongoing poetry recitations to us over the last five months have more than earned him this title. We are all just sorry that "REALLY Big Doofus Poet" didn't fit within the timbre of the limerick...

For the last several days we have been in Luxor. It's an amazing place. As the capital of Ancient Egypt (previously known as Thebes), it provides easy access to more than 15 historical sites. Unfortunately, with three children (and a husband) who are all tiring of such sites, we limited our visits to the most significant ones - Luxor Temple, Karnak Temple, Valley of the Kings, Temple of Queen Hatshepsut (pronunciation -Queen Hot Chicken Soup), the Colossi of Memnon, and perhaps the most important, McDonald's.

Unfortunately, all of Luxor's grandeur comes at a price, as the herds of tourists have created a retail frenzy, Egyptian style. The result is that it is IMPOSSIBLE to walk down the main streets of town without being harassed unmercifully by the touts.

Big Doofus Poet (and his fan)

You want horse drawn carriage (Egyptian Ferrari, yes?), felucca ride, taxi, t-shirt, trinket, toilet seat shaped like Tutankhamen's death mask?...You name it, they have it, AND they promise "very, very cheap...I give you good price!!" (as long as you consider a 1000% mark-up a good price. How does one even begin to bargain down from that?) I'm happy to say that most of the time we took this in good stride and ultimately in Luxor we enjoyed a nice mix of relaxation, sight-seeing (and to the children's dismay) catching up on our homeschooling. Some of our more notable memories include the following:

· The cost of the hotel room - $11 including breakfast, free internet access, and use of the washing machine. We didn't even have to pay extra for the little mouse that kept me company while I did the laundry. The only downside, in fact, was the hotel manager who continually tried to sell us tours and offer us over-priced taxis. On one occasion, he informed us that it would really be too difficult for the children to walk to the West Bank ferry (four blocks away) and that they should have an air conditioned car. I told him they were of good Canadian stock, able to leap over tall buildings with a single bound, and I thought they could handle it. This was clearly beyond his English comprehension (or maybe he just didn't appreciate my humour) as he stared at me coldly, bowed his head slightly, and said "As you like, my friend";

· Seeing the treasures from King Tut's tomb on display at the Egyptian Museum, and then finding where his tomb was hidden in the Valley of the Kings;

· Visiting the Mummification Museum (oddly enough Kevin and the kids never tire of looking at the ruins of dead people!) It was interesting to learn all the macabre details of how a person was mummified, including how they would pull the brain out through the person's nose using a tool that looked remarkably like a crochet hook (Another Useful Blog Point - if you are looking for another use for that crochet hook you have sitting in your junk drawer, you now have one.) While there is no doubt about the Ancient Egyptians' mummification expertise, we question their knowledge of biology.

Luxor Touts Looking for "Customers"

The brain was considered unimportant, so after extraction it was just thrown away; the other internal organs, including the intestines (presumably still full of their last tasty meal of falafel) were stored in containers and guarded forever by the gods. The best part of the museum, though, was looking into the face of a 3,000 year old high priest - you could see the details of his face, and even his hair seemed to be intact. I'm still waiting for marketer Kevin to think of a clever Hair Club for Men slogan about that one;

· Bargaining for the horse drawn carriage ride home from the Karnak Temple. The driver apparently didn't like the deal we struck as he attempted to continue the bargaining process the entire way back to the hotel. Well, not exactly the entire way. In the end, Kevin got so tired of listening to him that he agreed to being dropped off several blocks from our hotel. Clearly judgment-impaired, the exchange didn't prevent the driver from holding out his hand for some baksheesh (as a tip for a job well done?);

· Going into the pharaohs' tombs in the Valley of the Kings and seeing the amazing hieroglyphs portraying the journey to the afterlife. It was also interesting to see the yoga group(?) in the depths of one of the sweltering tombs meditating around a sarcophagus - and people think accountants are strange;

· Riding horses for three hours and seeing the sunset on the desert mountain range. It was beautiful, but you'll have to take my word for it since I was too afraid to let go of my horse to take any pictures.

Laundry Room/Toilet

We had promised the kids we would go horseback riding during our trip and (at $5 per hour) what better place than Egypt to do it. In the end, we all agreed it was a highlight. I was amazed at how quickly we went from the fertile land along the Nile River to barren desert. I guess where the irrigation stops, the desert begins. We also rode into a small Egyptian village. Children and adults alike shouted hello to us as we wound through the streets (and not one of them asked if we wanted to buy a King Tut Glow-in-the-Dark Bottle Opener). It was a refreshing change to get away from the touts, and nice to see and experience, firsthand, the friendliness of ordinary Egyptian people. Oh, and if any of you are wondering, 3 hours is too long to for 40-somethings who don't normally ride horses, to be on them. Two hours into the ride, Kevin and I were both (for probably the first time ever) hoping we wouldn't quite get our money's worth. The children must be more resilient - they wanted to go again the next day;

· Drinking sugar cane juice - the sugar cane stalk goes in the machine round and comes out flat. The resulting squeezed out juice is sweet and delicious;

· Paying the extra dollar for a hotel room that has a private (vs. shared) bathroom. This is particularly valuable when your littlest daughter has developed the charming habit of awakening at 4:30 AM for a leisurely early morning bowel movement.

After five days, we left Luxor and headed across the desert to Hurghada (from where our flight back to the UK leaves).

King Tut's Tomb

Just to put Hurghada in perspective, our guide book says there is absolutely nothing good to say about the place, unless you consider "a tourist destination gone terribly wrong" to be complimentary. It apparently used to be a quaint fishing village, with great diving and snorkeling. Unfortunately, it is so developed and touristy now that it has no redeeming qualities. The "better" end of town is filled with resort hotels, tacky souvenir shops, lousy restaurants and a constant din of honking horns from the taxis. Our end of town (with the budget hostels) has a few overpriced "restaurants", piles of bricks, rubble and debris scattered about, and half dug trenches in the dirt roads. The other morning we walked to the beach and a big 2x4 (that had been used in scaffolding but was no longer needed) was hurtled down in front of us by a workman. It didn't land that close, but was enough to remind us that looking in four directions would not suffice here.

Having said all that, our day in Hurghada was quite pleasant. We didn't need much - just a bit of sand and water - and we found that at the private beach of the Sand Beach Hotel, which was three trenches and four garbage piles away from our room at the Sea Waves Hostel. The owner of the Sea Waves told us he has an agreement with the Sand Beach Hotel that allows his patrons to use its beach (for a small fee). We paid him our $10 and went to the beach, never to be asked for our tickets. Maybe the beach wasn't private after all. Regardless, it was well worth it and the kids enjoyed playing in the water and sand while Kevin and I laid about on the chaise lounges talking about his future as a mosaic artist (who also writes poetry).

A View Across the Nile, Luxor

The only other notable exchange in Hurghada came after we arrived back home from the beach. A man approached me in the hostel and enquired about where we were going tomorrow and whether or not we would need his taxi services. Unfortunately, we must have arrived two minutes too early as the entire time we were talking he was adjusting his underwear and doing up his trousers. I just went into the hotel room, shaking my head and chuckling to myself. Only in Egypt...

It's hard to believe that two months have passed and the Middle East segment of our trip is over. In some ways it seems like it just started (and in some it seems like it has been never-ending!) As we prepare to return to Toronto for a week (for a vacation from our vacation) I thought it might be interesting to share a few overall observations from our travels in this part of the world:

· Traditional values are still predominant here, particularly with respect to women. There seems to be a greater focus on women being wives and mothers, rather than having other career aspirations. I recognize this is a generalization and may be unfair given that we pretty much stayed on the tourist track. On the other hand, with Jordan being a slight exception, I can't remember seeing even one woman working in a shop, driving a taxi, working in a restaurant, etc. so I suspect there is a bit of overall truth to it;

· While most Muslim women wear beautiful head scarves, some wear full black veils over their faces, with only two slits cut out for their eyes.

Laura's New Friend

I found the latter troubling (rightly or wrongly). No skin showing anywhere. The only thing more troubling was when the same women wore glasses and the glasses were on the outside of the veil. When they ate, they would hold back the scarf with one hand, and put it immediately back in place when they finished. When they swam, they went in the water fully clothed. Their spouse, on the other hand, could sit in a coffee shop, smoke sheesha, and wear whatever he liked (including a speedo bathing suit - yuck!). I tried to remind myself that dressing this way is consistent with these women's beliefs; I tried not to think about how much of it might be forced upon them by culture. I know I am highly influenced by my western biases here, but it still seems oppressive;

· Toilets in bus stations (particularly in Egypt) are disgusting. In the worst one, the doors were kept locked (was that to keep the bugs in or to ensure the odours didn't get out?);

· People here smoke cigarettes and/or the water pipe constantly. And, they smoke everywhere - in taxis, restaurants, stores, bathrooms, coffee houses... There is no escape from it. I have to think that the cancer statistics for the Middle East must be quite staggering;

· Being in the desert is amazing. There is a great feeling of isolation that comes from standing in the midst of nothing (except for cigarette butts). I, for one, love it;

· There is garbage everywhere. In the streets, on rooftops, in the desert, in the rivers... The Arab world is far behind the west in its recognition of how to take care of this world (which, in some ways, doesn't say much). On one Nile cruise a fellow tourist was telling us about the kitchen staff who casually threw their garbage (pop cans and the like) into the Nile as the boat was serenely cruising along;

· People in this part of the world (excluding the touts) are incredibly friendly people. Their hospitality surpasses anything I've seen to date. In Turkey, for example, Laura and Sarah were each noticed admiring decorations in a restaurant. The restaurant owners in both cases insisted on giving these things to the girls - we are now the proud owners of a broken Turkish war hero Statue and a statue of Super Coke Man. Too bad they didn't set their sights on things that were a little more valuable!

· And my final comment.....how sad that the Middle Eastern people, who greet each other with Salaam or Shalom (the English equivalent of the word "Peace") find that peace is the very thing that has for so long evaded them.

Okay, enough of my views. I just asked Kevin for his final thoughts on the Middle East, and with a faraway dreamy look in his eyes he simply said, "When we get to my parents house I wonder if I should start eating the leftover Halloween candy, or the Hermit cookies..."

Post your own travel photos for friends and family More Pictures

Enjoying Sugar Cane Juice	The "Road" to our Hurghada Hotel	Laura Enjoying Hurghada, Egypt	Swimming in the Red Sea
Luxor Smoker	Nile River Garbage	Luxor, Egypt	Michael's Horse in Luxor
Luxor Business Man	Farmland Around the Nile, Luxor	Valley of the Kings	A View from our Luxor Hotel
Karnak Temple, Luxor

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