Soy en Guatemala, legally!
Trip Start
Feb 10, 2008
1
10
29
Trip End
Aug 06, 2008
Flores,
Guatemala
Monday, March 24, 2008
So last Wednesday morning, after an hour long boat ride from Caye Calker followed by a short walk, I arrived at Belize City Bus Station. I had heard that this was not the most savoury of places, and although I tend to take these kind of claims with a pinch of salt, I was keen just to get on the bus without having to interact too much with the locals. So it was no surprise that within about four seconds of sitting down I was approached by a rather scruffy looking fellow. At first I thought he worked there as a conductor or something, as he had a little pad of paper and pencil, but it soon became clear that he was just looking for company and / or money. I should take the time here to say that one of the things I find most difficult when travelling, is deciding whether any given local who tries to talk to you is a) a friendly soul who is just interested in talking to or trying to help you, or b) a mercenary swine who is just after your money, or c) a mentalist. In this case I think the guy might have been all three. When I asked him where he was from, he explained that whilst his body has spent its whole life there in Belize City, his mind and spirit have travelled to every corner of the world. I told him that that sounded pretty cool, and he confirmed that that was indeed the case. He ended up helping me to find the bus that I needed to get to my next destination, and he even helped me with my bag, so I gave him a $2.50 tip. Thank God I did, as this seemed to spur him suddenly into action, and he began to draw the most lifelike portrait of me that I have ever seen. That is presuming that I do indeed resemble a curly-haired, teenage elven princess.
The bus journey was fairly uneventful, and I spent most of the 3 hours watching the cute Belizean kids in the seat in front of me playing around. I have now decided that I would quite like to have black babies, so if there are any females of African descent interested, please send applications on a postcard to "Elliot, Central America". Upon my arrival in San Ignacio, I met up with two French Canadians who had been at the same hostel as me in Caye Caulker (and who I have coincidentally just seen again at this Guatemalan hostel), and so, despite the fact that one of them was annoyingly arrogant and envy-enducingly dashing, we shared a room for the night to save costs.
The following day I went on an organsised tour to Caracol - some old Mayan ruins located in a nearby mountainous forest reserve. I never really know what to write about ruins - they were ruins. Actually, although they were less impressive architectually than Chichen Itza in Mexico, I preferred them because a) the location was much more impressive, b) there were hardly any other tourists, so the experience was more authentic, and c) you were allowed to climb the structures (this has been banned at Chichen Itza since a fat American fell to her death in 2006). So although our guide wasnt particularly enthusiastic, and it was pissing it down with rain all day, I enjoyed myself. Unfortunately though the rain wasnt content to just soak us to the skin, it also felt the need to royally fuck up the roads. And so the return journey in the afternoon took a couple of hours longer than on the way out in the morning, as the army had to turn up to tow a long line of vehicles through the impassable muddy bog that had previously been the road. In the end we all had to get out and start pushing the cars, as the army vehicle was having some issues of its own, but eventually we all made it home safe and sound. That evening I have no recollection of what I did - I think perhaps the common combination of internet, dinner, and reading.
On Friday I was supposed to be going on an organised trip to some nearby caves, whose skeletal remains and genuine Mayan artifacts come highly reccomended, but the rain had persisted throughout the night and had flooded the site. So I spent the whole day flitting between sleeping and reading my mammoth 900 page novel on Indian crime, and the evening sharing a few beers with a couple I had met in the hotel. The next morning I arose relatively early to head to the Guatemalan border, at which point my already documented passport troubles began.
Now I can describe how these troubles ended - yesterday morning I got a bus to the Mexican border, at which point I headed to the immagration office to try and explain my situation. Once again I was ushered into a darkened little office, and once again I was told that I should be put in prison (and charged a $1000 fine), only this time it came from the lips of a rather more intimidating rhino of a man. To cut a long story short, I was forced to pay $50 in return for having my passport stamped and getting sent on my way.
The bus journeys back to San Ignacio were fairly uneventful apart from the last half hour, during which I had my first political discussion with a local! I was curious about the strong Chinese presence all over the country, as it just seemed a bit random to be honest. It turns out (according to him) that the Chinese government donate fairly regular grants to the Belizean government, in return for the latter allowing the free and illegal immigration of a few thousand Chinese citizens into the country every so often. These immigrants are then given certain sanctions and discounts in relation to the purchasing and running of local stores, whilst at the same time the cost to the locals of running these same stores is significantly increased through new phantom charges and taxes created by the government. This essentially forces the locals to sell up their shops to their new noodle eating compatriots, as they simply cant afford to run them anymore. And indeed this is the case - from my brief glimpse of Belize, I would estimate that about 95% of local shops and markets were Chinese run. This is apparently causing a lot of tension, and according to my new bus buddy the two races are beginning to embark on a fairly open gang war.
Anyway, upon my arrival at San Ignacio I headed straight to my previous hotel to get a room, but I was informed that they were completely full. No bother, I will just try one of the many other hotels in the town. Unfortunately, after half an hour of fruitless searching, it became pretty clear that literally every single room, be it cheap or expensive, was booked up. As I wandered the streets and browsed through the selection of local bums, carefully trying to decide which one would make the best spooning partner (I had picked out a relatively hairless one who had at least 3 teeth and only smelt of 3 bodily secretions), I couldnt help but blame my situation on Jesus. Not content with turning water into wine, magically multiplying fish, having an awesome beard, and generally being the son of God, the old Billy Big Head had to cheat death and rise from his cavey tomb for a few days, thus extending the Belizean public holiday and leaving me homeless for the night. But as my (not so) famous motto goes, "As long as you try and avoid the use of planning, careful thought and common sense, things tend to work themselves out". And indeed, in the middle of my silent Jesus bashing tirade, I was spotted by two Irish girls that I had met briefly on Caye Caulker. They waved me over, and once I had told them my story, they (along with their 2 new travel partners, Hannah and Andy) kindly offered to re-arrange themsleves so that there was a spare bed in one of their two rooms. And so, after a teary farewell with Clive the bum, and a promise to fulfil our spooning destiny in the future, I kindly accepted their offer. That night we had a few beers, and headed to an awesome carnival where they played Stephen Marleys Traffic Jam! It also had the best haunted house ever, which was literally a dark van with a few paper mache looking creatures, and the longest ferris wheel ride in the Southern hemisphere.
And so, finally, to today. We all got up fairly early to head to the Guatemalan border, and I made it across without any hitches! After a 3 hour van journey we arrived at our current location, Flores. Its a little island situated in a lake in the north of the country, and I love it. Not least because the hostel that were staying at, a nice one at that, costs just $3 a night. I think I am going to like Guatemala.
Once again as I come to the end of another blog entry, I am sick of writing and I cant be bothered to write anymore. But at least I am finally up to date, and finally feel like I have actually begun backpacking!
x
P.S. I have uploaded some photos to entry number 8, in case anyone wants to see them.
