Iguacu falls

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Trip Start Oct 05, 2009 Previous
Entry Trip End Feb 26, 2010 Next
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  Foz de Iguacu, State of Parana, Brazil
Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lack of sleep and an excess of domestic beer are seriously affecting our ability to function on this trip.  Carols thought process has gone haywire and she has been on an uncharacteristic run of bad decision making. 20 minutes after taking on the task of acquiring us lodgings back in Ilha Grande we were booked into a dingy shed with rising damp and an en-suite mosquito colony because of itīs "amazing location".  When thinking of "amazing locations", swampy, sinister looking wooded areas donīt leap to mind but thatīs exactly what we found ourselves sleeping in.  After a tense couple of days in our relationship it was decided that to stop my continual childish whingeing, Carol would be excluded from making decisions for 1 week.

6 trouble free days later we left the pousada Iīd booked us into in Foz d Íguazu to get something to eat.  As soon as we were outside we passed a rather relaxed looking chap slumped against a kerb smoking a crack pipe not 50 yards from our room, it looked like the opening scene from an early episode of The Wire.  I heard Carol mutter something about "location, location, location" through a toothy grin.  She was once again part of our seriously malfunctioning decision making commitee.

After defying significant odds and making it back from dinner safely we had our first prolonged encounter with our host for the next two days, a Chilean love midget called Luisa.  Within 20 seconds of being in his company, I felt like I needed a shower.  He began undressing Carol instantly with an intense and sensual latin gaze, whilst he thrust a perfectly manicured hand in my direction and without looking in my direction, assaulted me with a desperately firm handshake which assure me that, despite being two feet shorter, he was the alpha male in this situation who could steal away my woman in a second and to prove it he might just mount me and assert his dominance right here in reception.

Minutes later Carol and I found ourselves sat on his sofa with a drink each, both equally confused as to how we got there.  There is every chance that Rohypnol was already in play and we were both in terrible trouble being in such a weakened state and at the mercy of this dangerous Latin American show pony.  He sat opposite us with legs splayed like a lion sunning his balls on the Serengheti and proceeded to regale us with tales of world travel that were clearly being made up on the spot.  Due to either the date rape drugs which were probably coursing through my system or extreme boredom, I zoned out and began to alphabetically list the STDīs we could be catching just by sitting on his sofa.  Intense claustrophobia set in by the time I got to Hepatitis and when he began to gaze wistfully at the ceiling and sing along to an Eric Clapton ballad playing in the background, the need to leave became too much for us to bear.  We jumped up and mumbled excuses about jet lag even though the nearest airport is hundreds of miles away and he met us off the bus just hours earlier.  We scuttled away as fast as is politely possible and double locked our bedroom door leaving him alone to contemplate whatever dark thoughts occupy the mind of a dangerous sex pest.

We were in town to see Iguazu falls which, we had been told, is one of the worlds great sights.  Straddling the borders of Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay, the falls are made up of over 250 cascades of water which flow through tropical rainforests and over jagged rocks into a 3km deep canyon which is four times bigger than Niagra.

Carol was again part of our decision making process and although we were both eager to get to the falls it was decided that first we would visit the adjacent bird park.  I have a terrible fear of birds but, as I booked us into the Brazilian Bronx, I felt obliged to go along and look at the beasts albeit from a safe distance.  I have always been terrified of chickens and geese.  Iīve feared Emus since one of the buggers chased me round a sheep farm pecking at me after we took a mutual dislike to each other and one of the most harrowing things Iīve ever witnessed is a male ostrich going for a wee.  I sweating profusely and weīd only just made it past the gate, Carol saw I was upset and the following conversation happened: Carol: "Are you ok?" David: "No not really I hate birds they really scare me" C: "Do they?  Oh god me too" D:"What?!  Well what are we doing in a bird park weīre surrounded now" C: "Oh god this is going to be horrible"
It was.
The only way out was through no less than FOUR walk in aviaries packed with swarms of massive shrieking creatures that looked like they didnīt belong on Earth.  Each cage was a hells waiting room full of foul winged beasts swooping down from all corners baring razor sharp talons and beaks.  We timidly entered the first lair and were nearly in tears as hundreds of pairs of beady eyes turned on us and a murderous, shrill cry erupted from countless beaks.  Immediately they swooped into action and one disgusting looking beast with backward knees barred the door while a crazy looking toucan blocked our exit. 

Carol escapes

Carol outwitted the toucan who was oozing bad intentions and made it across the first bridge but as soon as I tried to get across another one swooped down and they began some archaic fighting ritual. 

Pecking hellians

Their beaks were making a terrible scratching sound as they went for each other like two drunks in a car park and all the while they both kept their cold, dead eyes fixed firmly on me.  I was convinced they were fighting over which one would get first peck at my eyes and at that point I broke down entirely and ran across the bridge shouting sweary words at anything with feathers. This was not well received by the ranger chap who was stood quite calmly ten metres away, pushing a broom and watching open mouthed at the pathetic gringo disintegrating in front of two, probably harmless, oversized budgies. 

Carataras, BR

The falls themselves were everything they were billed to be. 

The Falls

Photos donīt do them any kind of justice and what really amazes you is the power of the water as it crashes into the valley below.  You can hear the noise long before you see the falls and itīs like listening to a huge continuous thunderclap get progressively louder as a massive storm blows towards you. 

Dave & Carol at the Falls

The wind is also something to contend with and, if you look at photos of me taken at the falls you may notice a rather unfortunate Adolf Hitler-esque side parting which developed during the day owing to the blowy conditions in and around the area.

Rainbow

Longer way down

Life jacket orange suits the complexion

All in all a rather spectacular couple of days which nicely brings and end to a rather chaotic two weeks in Brazil, Argentina next.


      

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There are more where these came from	David angry at torturous bus journey	Bird from dinosaur era	Carol & Toucan
David & Toucan	Reptiles, further away and less scary	The Jedi of the waters	Carol on Brazillian side
Muddy waters	They´re quite small really	The falls	Hundreds of butterflies everywhere
Really close up

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