My Heart Was That Lone Bell For I Was Alone
Trip Start
Dec 01, 1999
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26
103
Trip End
Aug 31, 2000
Hanoi,
Vietnam
Sunday, January 16, 2000
The day had come.
Time had stopped for us and we were to begin existing in time as separate entities.
My new friends had come to represet 'comfort' and 'security'.
We sat for breakfast together for the last time.
We walked the maze of streets together for the last time.
At mid day we caught a cab together for the last time.
The cab took us to the airport where we said our good byes.
It was both one of the hardest moments in my life and also one of the scariest.
I said good bye to some close new friends and also my closest friend in the world from home who flew in to meet me.I was now left alone. For the first time in my life I was truly alone in the world. I returned to 'our' hotel. I looked around the room and silently packed my bag.
I would not and could not stay there, I had to move.
I didn't want to stay at the normal guesthouse/hostel. I didn't want to be around anyone or do anything. I found a little place to stay amongst the maze of streets and lay upon my bed for what seemed endless hours. I didn't want to think and I didn't want to feel. I felt empty, I felt sad and I felt alone. I read Bryce ourtney's 'Jessica'. It was the perfect book to read when feeling as I was. I felt for Jessica and didn't have to think about how I felt. Night fell and my book lay finished beside me. I lay in the darkness listening to my new world. It was a world I didn't want to enter this night.
Hunger didn't even enter my feelings, it chose to stay away.
In Australia there is a radio station in Melbourne called 3PBS. To keep it running all good listeners subscribe. To me it's the greatest station on earth. Big call when I've never listened to all the radio stations on earth, but I'll call it.
Some nights they would play a song that has remained in my memory. It introduced me to this long sad night long before it became real. It's not really a song; it's more a captive ten minutes in time in Hanoi Vietnam. It was what I was hearing that night. There is no music, only the sounds of the hustle and bustle of the busy streets below my window.
The only difference was in the 'song' there was a lone tin bell in the distance.
On this night my heart was that lone bell.
These were my thoughts as I fell asleep.
Beers N Noodles toya...shane
