Conspiracy campers

Trip Start Aug 18, 2006
Trip End Ongoing

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Where I stayed
Reinsburg campsite

Flag of Germany  ,
Wednesday, September 13, 2006

From Colditz I rode to within 40km of Dresden, stopping at a fairly typical campsite (hot water 1 euro for 4 minutes. And it takes 3mins to warm up. Cheapskate b*st*rds). I wanted to buy some soap from the campsite shop, which required loitering for about an hour for someone to turn up and pursuading them to open the shop. Its the end of the season now, many campsites are running on skeleton staff. While I was waiting, a middle aged couple drew up in a small car towing a tiny caravan. I thought I detected an English accent, as they discussed together the problem of there being a barrier across the road and no staff at reception, so I asked where they were from. ´France´ replied the man. ´You speak excellent English´. ´Well... North Yorkshire originally´. Why not say that at first? He can see perfectly well that I´m English. It transpires that he has been living in France for 15years, in order to get out of ´the system´. He keeps mentioning the ´system´, while hopping from one foot to the other in paranoid agitation. I point out that there is a number he can ring to attract attention, pinned to reception door, if he has a mobile.

-´Well I don´t have a mobile. Why do they assume everyone´s in the system?´ he´s becoming indignant.
-Because they´re in the system?
-But I´m not
-Sotto voce (because I´m a coward): then you´ll wait until they happen to come back to reception.
-I won´t have a mobile, I´ve fought with the bank to not have to carry a cashcard. If you have a mobile and a cashcard ´they´ can know where you are all the time.
-Yeah, but why would ´they´ care? If ´they´ want to know where I´ve been, they can ask!
-If anyone asked me where I´d been I´d give ´em what for
-Where have you been?
-Oh, Norway, Sweden, we´re heading for Prague...
Slideshow Report as Spam


seanmhenry on

Ratings plummetting
So the fact that you have only just given me the link to your blog has meant I've had to spend most of my Saturday morning reading about your various capers. Meanwhile, in the world of emap tv, faults are aplenty, ratings are minimal. This is down to you.

Well I'm now completely up to speed, and I have to say I'm a big fan of your work. These Europeans sound so much nicer than our fellow countrymen too. Marvellous. I'm going to look at your pictures after I've left this message and i'm expecting to see a statuesque, chisle jawed, male adonis... in the mould of Hercules. Don't disappoint me.

I can't hold an extended converstaion as I need to get back to work, but now I know your here I will be leaving you many a message. Just quickly, everything in my world is goood, just signed contracts for house handing over a ridiculous amount of money in the process (mainly to James, who has spend it on a fur coat and a crown [very out of character i know]). Work's good, trying to get promoted and earn more money as usual. Hopefully I'll be president of television by the time your back!

Keep up the good work, I'm very proud of you. I should say something deep and inspiring. I'll settle for 'do it or I'll poke you in the eyes'.

Lots of love,

Sean xxx

smcn on

Inroads into Europe
I have to say Tim I am impressed! You have made across most of Europe in a fraction of the time it took the Nazis, and they had tanks, not bicycles!

Very amusing blog to date. Much in the style of Mr Bryson, which pleases me. Loved the annecdote in this one about the paranoid Yorkshireman... Fantastic.

Looking forward to your next entry (as the actress said to the bishop...)

110044nz on

What is Europe?
Asia to the Urals? Or Imperialism beyond that to encompass the entire globe?

'Once the capitalist mode had achieved domestic hegemony in Britain, once the forces of production had achieved dominance, the early device for state control over primative accumulation - mercantilist production - could be dropped and 'free' trade between unequal partners relied on for global economic dominance'. R Peet, 1991, Global Capitalism.

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