Aug 18, 2006
Sent Yols an email, trying to cheer her up, as sheīs just found out she didnīt get funding for her masters. She replies, almost immediately, saying go online, we can chat. I go online, I try saying nice things. She is monosyllabic and obviously dispondent. She doesnīt react to me anymore. She sent an e-mail, after I accused her of trying to make me jealous by talking all the time about Ajit, and she got mad, and wouldnīt write for two days, which means there was something in it, even though it was supposed to be a joke, and this e-mail says that uni feels a lifetime away, things are different, what will it be like to see each other again. Now she says she wants to go and make a phone call. Wants to talk to someone, since apparantly this is not talking. Calling mum? I know she isnīt. I can see the words before they appear. "No. Calling Ajit." She says I love you, and I say it back, but it feels hollow and tears well up. Have knots in my stomach about Prague now.