Starobrno Beer and a Czech Army Colonel

Trip Start Jun 08, 2008
Trip End Jul 09, 2008

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Flag of Czech Republic  , Moravia,
Tuesday, June 24, 2008

During the train ride to Brno I had been frantically calling every number I had for pensions, hotels, or hostels but everything was booked.  I finally was able to find a hotel that was located in a student dormitory that had rooms available; this lovely place was called Hotel Druzba.  While I was on the phone with the lady making a reservation, she mentioned that the hotel was just five minutes from the city center; in my mind I'm thinking this is great, we'll be right next to everything to see and all the bars.  Lies!
When we finally arrived in Brno after the ridiculous train strike it was already getting a little dark and we realized that we had no idea where we were or how to get to the hotel.  After several wrong turns and some awful map reading we finally ended up on the correct street and began to travel down it thinking we would run into the hotel at any moment.  Flash forward several kilometers later and were still walking with no end in sight, by this time it was dark, we were hungry, thirsty, and generally exhausted from the day of traveling.  We finally did find the hotel, but I don't know what city center they were talking about because we were basically in the suburbs of Brno by this point.  The lady who was checking us in was quite possibly the friendliest person we had met in Czech Republic thus far, it was a shame that we couldn't communicate with her at all.  After checking in and putting our bags in our room we went off to find some food. 
We asked the desk clerk for some food recommendations and she started going on and on in Czech and pointing in all directions, leaving us thoroughly confused and pretty much on our own.  Walking down the road we stumbled upon a little park with a restaurant in the middle called Selepka's, a place we would call home for the following several nights.  We walked to the door to attempt to decipher the Czech menus when all of a sudden this older Czech gentlemen came outside, introduced himself as Milosh, and began to translate the menu for us.  I first thought that he was the owner or manager of the restaurant and was trying to help us out, but when he showed us to a table and then sat down next to us I became a little suspicious. 
When a waiter came over to the table Milosh took the liberty of ordering a round of beers for everyone as well as our entrees as well as inviting his friend to the table as well.  By this point I was thinking one of two things, these men were going to rob us or they're just drunk and trying to throw drinks onto our tabs.  As we sat around the table drinking our beer and eating the wonderful steaks, I found out that Milosh was a Czech army colonel as well as a professor of military science and the other man was his raging alcoholic of a friend.  The friend kept shaking my hand and giving me fist bumps all the while trying to Johnny's phone number and "contacts".  We drank a delicious home brew called Starobrno, which Milosh kept on ordering to the table.  His friend ordered us rounds of shots of god knows what and before you know it we were all having a merry time.  Our initial fears of being robbed or scammed were quickly forgotten when Milosh paid for nearly every beer we drank.
Johnny and I found Milosh to be quite the humorous guy, with some exceptionally funny broken English jokes/quotes.  Here is just a sample:
" ex-wife...(thinking deeply)...STUPID!"
"My English much better, but now I drunk."
At one point he turned to me, gave me a great big hug and yelled out "I have good night!"
When the bar was shut down and they waiters were waiting for everyone to clear out, Milosh asked if we all wanted another beer.  I told him that we can't have anymore because the bar is closed.  He stood up with his chest out and proudly exclaimed "This is not problem, I am Colonel Milosh!"  Cue me rolling on the floor in drunken laughter.
When the bar closed Milosh mentioned the idea of going to a Non-Stop, which apparently is a small bar with attached casinos that are open 24 hours a day.  Once in the Non-Stop he took the liberty of ordering more beer as well as several rounds of Becherovka, traditional Czech liquor which was fantastic.  I don't remember much of our time spent in the Non-Stop nor do I remember our walk home.  What I remember is waking up at 10am the next morning with an old Czech woman yelling at me and trying to pull the covers off of me.  I was so hung over that the only words I could muster myself to say was the Ukrainian word for tomorrow, "zavtra," in hopes that the woman would realize that I was checking out the following day; after several minutes of this she eventually stops and leaves without a word.
What is it with old angry Czech woman waking me up while I'm passed out?  We never figured that one out... 
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