Lazy On The Boat

I awoke the next morning at 7:00am again. By now I'd begun to hate the number seven. It's way too early to wake up for breakfast and then sit for 4 hours waiting for the day's activity. But this was our last day, so the activity itself was "lazy on the boat" according to the official itinerary. I woke Jon, knowing he'd be hungover, with the promise of bread. He refused, saying 20 more minutes of sleep far outweighed the benefits bread would do him. Shouldn't a bartender know better than that? I left him to his mistake and enjoyed an omlette with toast and jam. I wasn't hungover at all (especially after breakfast) and Andreanne was sunny as ever.

01 Jon's Boat Confusion

The guide informed us we would switch boats for the journey back to the mainland. We were slated to dock and transfer in 25 minutes. Considering Jon's mood earlier that morning, I let him sleep for the first 23 minutes, then it was pure "OAKLAHOMA!!!" He dragged himself upright and started packing his backpack. I waited for him with the rest of the card crew on the dock. The shiphands grew restless waiting for him and I pointed to what cabin he was in. They had him out in 30 seconds. He stooped over his backpack on the dock, trying to cram down his belongings that were spilling out the top. Everyone else boarded our vessel home.

02 Jon's Bench

I looked down once we were on deck. Jon was still fussing with his bag on the dock next to our previous boat. I called down to him "Got everything?" Bad move, Mike. Very stupid. He started worrying, digging deeper into his bag to make sure. At that moment I realized his incoherance wasn't a hangover. Once again, he woke up still drunk.

While I was busy realizing, I failed to notice Jon drop his bag and walk away from it. My eyes searched the busy dock. He was heading back to the boat. Except he was heading for the wrong boat. I thought back to the incident with the swimming American the night before. Jon boarding the wrong boat would be really bad.

03 Final Resting Place

"Jon! Jon! That's the wrong boat!"

He waived me off with the back of his hand with a surley 'My time is too important to waste on you' sneer. But my yelling got the attention of Marc, Julie, and Andreanne. They joined me at the railing and instantly saw what he was doing.

We all rang out in a chorus of "Jon! Wrong Boat! Jon!" to no avail. But our cries made the dock officials look up and take notice of Jon, already making his way down the side of the third vessel. A security guard grabbed him and escorted him, under protest, back to the dock. They led him to our boat where we helped him onboard. He thought he was going back to the boat he'd been sleeping on. He couldn't find his "gold shorts". (I think I've mentioned them before. They are bright yellow running shorts he bought in Korea. At this moment in the story, his bright yellow shorts were in full display on the front of his bag).

04 Third Day Clouds

Safely on the correct ship with all of his personal articles, Jon sat swaying on a bench. We didn't know what to do with him. He insisted on going down to one of the cabins to sleep. But that boat had no rooms to sleep in. No beds. He didn't seem to understand. We offered to get him a deck chair on the upper level, but he refused. With nothing else to do, Julie and I started taking video of his drunken mumblings. (Sadly, in a moment of weakness a few days later, I agreed to delete it. But man was it funny). He eventually found a bench to lie down on inside and spent the rest of our time in Ha Long unconscious.

05 Sun Breaks Through

As he slept, I conversed for hours with Marc, Julie, and Andreanne. Despite how hard I tried to cling to the prejudices of my upbringing, I really liked these French Canadians. We've made plans to reunite in Mui Ne for Christmas where Marc and Julie will be staying. Andreanne, however, will be travelling with us much sooner. (More on that in entries to follow). Once back on the mainland, it was lunch and then the three hour busride back to Hanoi. I said goodbye to all the Quebecois friends I'd made and took Jon back to the hotel we'd stayed in before Ha Long.

Jon slept until that evening. I, meanwhile, finally took a shower. Then I read, woke him for dinner, and we both passed out early that night. The next morning he woke up still dehydrated and still with a headache. Some people have gotten the impression that there is a lot of drinking going on during this trip. That was a misconception until now. Jon holds the record.

06 Narrow Column

And that, my friends, is the Ha Long Saga. Enjoy the photos and video.

07 Andreanne

08 Last Look at Ha Long

09 Boat Style

10 Poor Jon-Boy