Biggest does not mean best

Trip Start Oct 16, 2009
Trip End Feb 25, 2010

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Where I stayed
Pigeon Forge Hampton Inn

Flag of United States  , Kentucky
Sunday, December 20, 2009

I travelled north into Kentucky today to go visit the biggest cave system in the world. Wanting to make the most of the visit I booked on a four and half hour trip which I thought would do the job – but unfortunately it was not all it was hoped for.

It was labelled as difficult so I figured it would not be too busy – yeah - 60 people and two buses proved that theory wrong.  Also cos it was labelled difficult and cos you can't take bags down I left the Canon behind.  I needn’t have as the going was far from 'difficult’ it was a moderate walk at worst.  Without the Canon I had to rely on the N86 which takes a fair picture but is not designed for pics in caves.  As it happens this doesn’t really matter too much as – and my apologies to the folks at Mammoth – there really is not too much to take pictures of.

The four mile walk underground was good – got some exercise in and yes some of those underground canyons are quite cool but the hike to the flow stone features was an anticlimax.  Yes, the frozen Niagara was cool but in Jenolan I saw that every 20 ft for over a mile!  But don’t be put off – it is well worth a visit and the park rangers are as ever first class in terms of their knowledge, passion and energy.  One teensy point though – and I can live with the funky pronunciation (viz sta-LAG-mites vs. what I would say: STA-lag-mites) – the ones that grow downwards are stala-C-tites not stala-G-tites: schoolboy error really.

Parenting of the year award: The crassness that two men displayed today is worth a note – as I am in one of those bitching moods.  Both involved belittling their wives and neither of these ‘men’ had the cojones to say their words in front of the putative plaintiffs.  Case 1 – man moaning about how ‘if we had followed her schedule and what ‘she’ wanted us to do we would have missed the tour; she said we needed to leave an hour later and she…."  Can’t even remember her name eh?  Case 2 – man outlining, over a 10 minute period, why his wife was a quitter and how they should be more like him cos he gets things done and she just quits and and and…

Do you know why I even care what this pathetic little men were saying?  Why?  Because their audiences were their pre-teen children.  Funk me how funking low can you get you spiteful despicable little men?

Oh and while I am running your sorry arses into the ground – if you want to teach the kids some chemistry at least get it funking right.  CO2 and H20 make Carbonic acid not Carbolic acid and Calcium Carbonate is a Basic Salt not a base.  You.  Funking.  Ignorant.  Dickhead.

There, that’s better.  No I get on with a rant about the trip from the cave to where I am holed up tonight.

What I listened to. I rounded off the Beatles in Stereo re-masters with another listen to Let it Be..Naked.  Silly name for a great album.  It’s only when you listen to the original to the remixed Let It Be that you realise just what a funking mess Phil Spector made of the original’s production – a thixotropic goo of strings and distortion and all that out-take crap sewed in – what was he thinking?
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