The destination
Trip Start
Aug 08, 2008
1
5
17
Trip End
Ongoing
Oaxaca,
Central Mexico and Gulf Coast,
Mexico
Friday, August 22, 2008
The bus ride from Chihuahua to Mexico City (hence forth referred to as DF) was a cozy 20 hours. Despite the Chihuahua hostel owner's prediction (believe his exact words were "you're going to die"), I was just fine and got some good sleep. The bus was only about 1/4th of the way full, so I was able to sprawl.
I loved DF. Of course I knew that I didn't know what I was getting myself into (that's travel for ya), but the city felt different from what I had imagined based on my reading/research. Very tranquilo. On Sunday, I arrived just the centro just in time to watch a bit of the marathon. I especially enjoyed seeing my penguin brethren- the very, very slow runners who were being trailed by the ambulance- and all the finishers walking around town with their metals on. I'm planning on running the half-marathon in Guadalajara on October 19th.
I stayed at a great place, called the Casa de los Amigos, which is run by Quakers. I was interested in attending worship, but arrived too late in the day (next time). I met some good people staying in the female dormitory and walked around the city a lot. The city was cold (!), but luckily the hostel beds were snuggley-warm. On Monday, I had a pretty ambitious agenda which included riding the roller coaster and going to the Anthropology Museum, but apparently Lunes is not the day to hang out in DF- everything was closed. Still, it was great, and knowing that I'd definitely be coming back made for no stress exploration.
I can't say the same about Oaxaca. Honestly, I've had a rough couple of days here. My arrival in the city coincided with the emotional climax of "Bambi II," the movie playing on the bus. Damn if I wasn't crying.
My first two night in Oaxaca, I stayed at a fancy bed and breakfast. It exceeded my budget, but I had heard about it through a friend of the owner, someone I met in Tucson. I believe in following serendipity while I travel, and that justified the splurge in my mind. It was absolutely beautiful, but it also felt a bit funky/depressing because of its separation from all things Mexico.
The night I arrived, there was a big party for a tour group- mostly older, American women- who were spending their last night at the bed and breakfast. I partook in margaritas and nearly got drunk under the table by the 91 year old woman sitting next to me. The alcohol helped, but I was proud and exhilarated by getting the chance to interact with a group of people so different from the backpackers/WWOOFers I had just hung out with in DF. There was a barbecue and live music, and it was just a really nice way to start the Oaxaca chapter of my travels.
Since then, I've been driving myself a bit crazy. It's hard to explain, but there is a lot going on with me right now. For one, I feel a bit let down and depressed. I've been so focused on getting to Oaxaca for so long that now that I'm finally here, my life's a big "now what?" Complicating things is the fact that I really enjoyed the process of getting here from Phoenix. I was sloppy, goofy, absolutely consumed with love- love for myself, for people, for travel, for Mexico, for the whole wide world. In Chihuahua, I had a dream where I blurted out that travel is what I want to do with the rest of my life. (Even in the dream, the next word out of my mouth was "how?".) There's something I feel when I'm moving that I don't get while standing still, and I'm mourning the loss of it.
I had planned on staying in Oaxaca one or two months, but, for whatever reason, I don't think it's meant to be. More "now what?.... big, huge, confusing.
I really hit the ground running in Oaxaca- I've been in the city less than 72 hours and have already conducted an apartment search, obtained a library card, researched registering for swim lessons and Spanish classes, dealt with immigration paperwork, met with with SIT TESOL trainer (who I just happened to run into, and who just happens to have a Kenyan boyfriend), located a Tanzania RPCV (who invited me to two parties), and have stayed in three different hotels. A lot of this footwork isn't very fun or exciting, but there's a beauty in how easily and quickly it has come together. The only problem is that the part of me that, for weeks, has been saying "I can't wait to be settled down in Oaxaca" is nowhere to be found. I probably should be aggravated with myself, but how was I supposed to know?
I've encountered a lot of white people in the past several days, and the interactions make me feel weird. There's a definite hierarchy and social structure involved- a foriegn culture within a foriegn culture. In DF I met mostly longterm backpackers and WWOOFers- people who make me feel oh-so-inferior in every way. It's mostly my own insecurities, but being an American, with bad Spanish, who has only been here about two weeks seems to equate me with pond scum. I want to scream "but I know Swahili! I lived in Tanzania for two years!" but it's amazing and unfair how little that accounts for outside of certain circles. Unlike Africa, I have no status in Mexico.
In Oaxaca, it's the expats (mostly American). I have had these expat ambitions ever since I first went abroad, but keep coming back to the fact that that's not at all me. As nice as it would be, I absolutely won't allow myself to stay pent up in an apartment somewhere, reading books from the English library all day. I don't think I should go to parties, stay in fancy hotels any more, or even rent an apartment. Boo.
So, what am I going to do? Definitely get back on the road. I half feel like cussing her out for this, but a Swiss woman I met in DF gave me her WWOOF list. (WWOOF is an worldwide organization of organic farms and volunteers wanting to work on organic farms.) I have no experience, and it scares the crap out of me, but I feel like WWOOF is something I'm supposed to do next.
In the meantime, I feel much better today after moving into a posada. Besides the fact that I don't have access to a kitchen, it's perfect for me... right across the street from a beautiful park. Today there's a market in the park and just a couple of hours ago, I wandered around in search of yummy smells in order to find something to eat (not a bad way to live, if you ask me. I paid $25 pesos for the best meal I've had in Mexico thus far.) I'm trying to calm down and avoid pressuring myself to make any big decisions. To help clear my head, I've been running and swimming at a park outside of the city limits, called El Tequio, and spending time the beautiful Cathedral Santo Domingo. I've committed to staying Oaxaca City for at least another week. I'll probably take some Spanish classes and it'll be good.
It probably doesn't make any sense at all, but even though it feels like have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, it also feels like, on a deeper level, actually I know exactly what´s going on... and that´s comforting. Trying to remember that there´s no "right" or a "wrong," and that my job, which I´m very capable of, is to be open to the experience and listen to myself. I´m going to keep on doing that, and we´ll see what happens.
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