Toul Sleng or S21 Prison
Trip Start
Jul 25, 2006
1
148
165
Trip End
Ongoing
Phnom Penh,
Cambodia
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
S21
.The ousting of the old regime, the celebration of the new Khmer Rouge one, and it's slide into terror and cruelty was astonishing in its quickness and unrelenting viciousness against its own people. By 1975, Phnom Penh was under Khmer Rouge control and by the next year Pol Pot had turned Phnom Penh High School into Toul Sleng, or the S21 prison and interrogation centre. During this time anyone thought to be a potential enemy of the state, a long list, were taken to prison, interrogated, and often as not, tortured and killed. Enemies of the state included doctors, teachers, Buddhist monks, ethnic Chinese, Chan Muslims, ethnic Vietnamese, members of the old government, and the intelligentsia of the country (speakers of a foreign language and in a bizarre twist anyone who wore glasses, as this was a sign of education, and therefore decadence and evil). Eventually there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the arrests and killings, and everyone, young or old, were at risk. It was a genocide committed by the government against its own people. It is estimated about two million Cambodians died between the years of 1975 to 1979 as a result of the Khmer Rouge's policies
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In the capital, S21 became a centre for a systematic approach to torture and torment that was terrifying in its efficiency
S21
. Thousands of people were herded into the old high school grounds, kept in inhumane conditions, and subjected to torture, interrogations for questions they certainly had no answers for, and ultimately sent out to the killing fields where they were often forced to dig their own graves and then dispatched by soldiers who killed efficiently and in secret.Today you can visit S21 and walk the grounds saturated with the memories of human misery and the chillingly efficient agents of a genocidal government. Located in a pleasant neighbourhood, its origins as a high school are clear from the layout of the multilevel buildings and open areas between them. The fence and razor wire are the first signs of a more nefarious existence. Once inside, you walk through the grounds where a few graves are marked, and you see what used to be the equivalent of a swing set that was converted into a gallows by the guards of Toul Sleng. Going into the ground floor rooms of the first building, you see small rooms with a single iron bed frame, chains still attached to the legs. These former classrooms were used as interrogation chambers, and torture was the accepted way to achieve a confession. Standing over the bed you head hurts a little as you try to deal with the present reality of where you are now, and the photos on the walls of prisoners lying in pools of their own blood inches from where you stand
S21
.The second building contains photos - thousands and thousands of nameless faces who were processed, tortured, and in almost all cases, murdered during their time here. It is the oldest and youngest faces that stand out the most. Looks of confusion, hopefulness, and occasionally resignation stare out at you. These are the intake photos taken by guards to track and process prisoners. Many, too many, are children barely out of infancy or elderly people in the last few years of life. As you move on, you begin to see photos of those tortured to death, an incomprehensible testimony to the importance placed on efficiency and dedication to documentation by the guards of the prison. Upstairs, a series of displays and photos document the rise and fall of the Pol Pot regime.
The third building has been left mostly untouched since the time of the prison. Inside rooms once meant for learning, small cells have been made where prisoners were kept when not being taken away for questioning. The size of these cells are a claustrophobic indication of the inhumane nature of the conditions prisoners faced. Walking through the rooms with only intermittent light from an open doorway or the occasional window, the atmosphere is eery and oppressive.
S21
The final building of note has been given over to displays, artistic renditions, and artefacts documenting life in the prison during this time, including some of the instruments of torture used for interrogation and punishment. The paintings have a clumsy, almost childlike, quality to them but depict scenes of terrible brutality.
Beyond the obvious, important, and difficult lessons Toul Sleng offers as to the possibilities of power unchecked and the dark side of human nature, it taught me a more personal one as well. As a History and World Issues teacher, my bread and butter (to a certain extent) is the study of the cruelties humanity seems to have a never ending ability to inflict on itself. I imagine that teachers, historians, and more viscerally, NGO workers and Human Rights Advocates build a certain shield to buffer them from horrors repeated all over the world. Rwanda had shaken me to the core, but I had a more personal stake there, having befriended a number of genocide survivors who made it more real for me. The events were more recent as well, within my university years, and had that much more of an impact on me.
Often times when presented with emotionally and intellectually devastating sites and sights, I become very academic. This is my shield. I am comparing what I know to what I am learning in the present. I often hide behind my camera to 'document' what I am seeing as potential future classroom assets to my future teaching on the subject. It isn't until afterwards that I let the guards down and occasional tremors shake my soul. This is fine when you are alone, as I have been for most of this trip. But I am not alone anymore.
S21
Danayi and I started the visit walking together, entering different rooms and taking in the sights. As we got further in, I began to lag behind as I tried to take photos from different angles and moved about. In my head, I always feel bad that I might be annoying people with my photographic habits and often encourage people to leave me behind so I do not slow them up or irritate them. Consequently as Danayi and I moved onto the second building, we seemed to be moving at different paces and I assumed this was good because it allowed Danayi to see what she wanted to at the pace she wanted to move. I eventually moved onto the third and fourth buildings on my own, as I wanted to photograph the prison and again, figured Danayi preferred time to move at her own leisure. I finished the last two buildings, and exited into the darkening sky of an impending storm without seeing her for at least twenty minutes or more. As I walked towards the entrance, Danayi came walking towards me and it was obvious things were not ok.
Danayi, a somewhat taciturn person by nature, was clearly upset, very upset. Being male, and clueless, and used to only thinking about myself, I honestly could not understand why she was upset. When I questioned her, she blurted "YOU LEFT ME!!". She said I knew she might have a difficult time here, and that I was used to this, but she wasn't and she had been alone, and afraid of going through the dark prison cells herself, and I wasn't there and she didn't know what to do
S21
.As her tears fell onto her face, my insides seemed to shrivel up and die more than the scenes and memories of the prison could ever hope to make me feel. It was true. I had left her. I might have thought I was doing her a favour, but the fact was, I abandoned someone I care for very much in a place that was a horrifying testimony to the lives of thousands of people who were abandoned without hope and died. How could I have ever thought someone with little exposure to this type of history and sites would be ok or happy to explore on their own? Why did it seem so easy for me to do exactly that?
Forgiveness was granted, Danayi being a generous and loving person, but not without the pained, awkward discussion and feelings you can imagine would follow such an event. I learned a lot in Toul Sleng, but it was as much about the person I am, the one I don't want to be, and the one I hope to be, as it was about the history of Cambodia. And in a weird way, as life is for the living, and I hope to have a lot more of living, the lesson I learned from Danayi was perhaps the most important one of all.
Our time here is obviously limited, whether we like to admit it or not. How we treat each other, whether on a global country wide scale, or a personal scale, is one of the most important things we can consider. S21 taught me that in expected, and unexpected, ways.
Comments
thank you
exposing even this time later helps bring the real world to us. I also thank danayi for being there and for teaching you even more, things needed to learn and for being so loving... forgiveness goes a long way but treat each other with much love and respect and go forward knowing this too has a special place for you both as it was a learning time.
love Mom