Iran 101
Trip Start
Apr 21, 2008
1
140
225
Trip End
Apr 20, 2009
Tehran,
Iran
Monday, September 8, 2008
Today the plan was to get my Letter of Recommendation (for my Syrian visa) from the Canadian Embassy in Tehran. The plan was to change hostels in the morning (as I was paying too much for Iranian standards) but I was running a bit late so I decided to just do the change later. I checked out of my room and left my backpack with the hotel manager. Prior to leaving the hotel, the manager asked if I could look at his computer as he was having problems. It is funny because whenever I tell people I am in IT, they want me to fix their computer problems. I told him I doubt I could fix the issue but that I would have a look. Basically his issue was that his computer took too long to boot up whenever he turned it on. So I just removed several programs that were no longer in use and removed several large files from his desktop. Apparently this solved his problem. Maybe I have a new career as a technical support rep ahead of me. It was because of the time I spent working on this computer that I was running late. It was 915 by the time I left the hotel and I was supposed to meet Ali at 915 in front of the Canadian Embassy. I initially wanted to walk to the embassy (2 hrs away from my hotel) as I wanted to see the city but this was no longer an option so I jumped in a cab. I showed the cab driver that said "Canadian Embassy" in Persian and we were on our way.
The cab ride was eventful. They always are in Tehran. Any time you find yourself driving on the streets of Tehran you feel like you are playing one of those car racing video games. The traffic is just unbelievable here. I don't believe I have ever seen anything like it. Cars zig zag everywhere trying to find some open space so they can pass the car in front of them. I truly believe that checking your blind spot is optional and almost everyone chooses the option of not looking over their shoulder. I still can't believe I haven't seen anyone get hurt yet from an accident. You can't help but hold on to the handle provided on the ceiling of the car for additional support. The cab driver noticed this and my looks of disbelief and just laughed.
I arrived at the Canadian Embassy at 930. I didn't see Ali. I was somewhat relieved as I was a bit 'Ali'd out'. He is a super nice guy but sometimes too nice. I felt a bit smothered by him the last few days.
There was a bit of a lineup for the consular services so I had to wait outside. While waiting, I met an Iranian man and his wife. Both lived in Canada for the past 10 years but returned to Iran less than 12 months ago so they could raise their young children, as he said, 'with Iranian values - if you know what I mean'. He said he knew their would be several conflicts with his children if he stayed as they would see one world outside his home and another one in his own home and probably would want more of the 'Canadian way'. I cant say I would blame theŭr kŭds. I found this thinking a little confusing as the only reason he left Canada was to be free. I feel bad for his kids. They are going to miss out on some fun drinking games in University :)
I also asked the man about men's behavior towards other men. Given that I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable with all of Ali's obvious affection towards me, I wanted to understand if it was normal for Iranian men to put their hands on other men's knees and rub them as well as massage their shoulders and rub their hands through another man's hair. He laughed and said it was VERY normal. It means the man really values your friendship and that I should not confuse it with anything else. He also said I shouldn't be surprised if he tries to give me a kiss on the cheek when we say hello or good bye to each other. This I was used to because of my Italian background.
The conversation then changed to safety in Iran. He said I would have no problems traveling in Iran (this did not surprise me) but that I should really be careful with my passport as it was very valuable to an Iranian. I asked what an Iranian would do with my passport. He said they could sell it for over $5000 dollars to somebody who would then use it to go to Canada. He explained that is how many people get out of Iran, by using a stolen passport and just changing the picture. He explained that many people were desperate to leave Iran and go to Canada. This was evident by the 200+ people in line he pointed to. Unfortunately for them, most get denied by the Canadian government. So they look at other options. Using a stolen/fake passport is one of them. He said something to me that stuck. He stated 'Iranian people are free but they are not alive'. I assume he meant to say that they are alive but not free. Or maybe not. But I understood his point..
I finally got into the consulate and was greeted by a sweet Iranian woman. One thing I immediately noticed about her was that she was not wearing a head scarf. Being in the consulate meant that Iranian laws no longer applied to her. I thought that was wonderful to see. Her friends must all be envious of her as she doesn't need to wear her head scarf all day long. I informed her that I would need a Letter of Recommendation in order to get a Syrian visa and potentially an Indian visa. She said that it wouldn't be a problem but that I would need to pay $50 for each letter. $50!?! Each!?! What a scam! I told her this didn't make sense. The letter was probably already prepared. Furthermore, the Syrian visa itself was probably going to be cheaper. It made no sense. She apologized but said there was nothing she could do. I told her to just prepare a Letter of Recommendation for the Syrian visa as I wasn't sure about the requirements for an Indian visa. She said I would need to return the next day to pick it up. I asked if I could somehow pick it up during the afternoon so I could get my Syrian visa today as well. She said that would be fine. I was happy with this as I didn't want to be in Tehran longer than I needed to.
When I left the Embassy, Ali was waiting outside. Damn. I really wanted to enjoy the day on my own. I told him what my plans were. He could join me if he wanted to but that it wouldn't be too interesting for him. He said he wanted to tag along. I wasn't surprised with his decision.
First, I went to the Indian Embassy to find out what the requirements were for a Canadian to get a visa. I was surprised to see so many Iranians waiting in line for an Indian visa. They were all young people. Ali explained that India had a very good educational program and that a lot of young Iranians wanted to go study there because of this. I eventually spoke with an official who confirmed that I would need a Letter of Recommendation from the Canadian Embassy. Damn! He also said that it could take over a week for my visa to get processed because of the process they used to collect payments for the visa. I did not want to spend 7-10 days. This was too long. The man then explained that the process is significantly shorter in Frankfurt, the city I would fly from to get to Delhi. My decision was made. I would wait until Frankfurt to get my Indian visa.
I had a few hours to spare before my Letter of Recommendation would be ready. SO I told Ali that I wanted to go to the city's bazaar. We decided to take the metro there as it would be easier and cheaper. We ended up spending 90 minutes in the Bazaar. There were people everywhere. Everyone was dodging workers who were carrying products from parked trucks to individual shops. You couldn't walk more than 30 seconds without someone whistling indicating you should move out of the way and let them push their over-filled wheel barrels by you. It was a fun game to play. You also had plenty of women covered in their black chadors. About 10 minutes into our walk through the bazaar, a young Iranian guy approached us as he overheard us speaking English. He was interested in finding out about who I was and why I was in Iran. The guy's name was Majid (not his real name) and he worked in his family's carpet shop close by. He ended up being a super nice guy and had a lot to say. He actually couldn't stop talking. His English was perfect so it was easy to listen to him. He talked a lot about Iran and how things worked here. He talked about his military service near the Pakistan border and how dangerous it was because of the Opium drug lords and terrorists. He was back in University but still needed to complete his military requirements. If he completed University, he would be able to cut his required military service time by half. This was enough motivation for him to complete University. However, although he didn't want to go back to the military, he was eager to finish it as it is difficult to get married in Iran if you haven't otherwise. He explained that when a man wants to get married to his girlfriend, he needs to ask the parent's permission first. One of the first things the parents will ask you is if you have completed your military requirements. If you say no, they will not grant you permission as they don't want to risk their daughter becoming a widow at an early age. Other motivating factors for completing your military requirements included being able to leave the country and being able to start your own business. Both are impossible without completing your military duties.
Anyhow, Majid was a very interesting guy. He ended up showing Ali and I his carpet shop. We spent 30 minutes there. Majid gave us a lesson on how Persian carpets were made and all the different designs. It was interesting but 30 minutes was enough. Before leaving, he asked if I was interested in going to his friend's English class the next day. I could be his guest. I didn't really know what my role would be as his guest but I said I would let him know the next day. He made me promise that I would call him and let him know.
When Ali and I left his shop, Majid stopped us from going towards the area we were heading. I asked him why we couldn't go in that direction and he explained that that was the area where the women's bras and underwear were sold and that men were not allowed there (or strongly encouraged not to go there). It was a private matter for women to be shopping for their lingerie. I laughed but I knew he was serious at the same time. He then directed us to another section of the bazaar that sold spices and copper. We didn't stay for too much longer. Before we left, I bought a notebook for my journal. The vendor was asking Ali all kinds of questions about me. Ali loves it when people ask him about me.
On our way back to the Canadian Embassy, I spotted a few policemen on the streets who were dressed differently from the other policemen I noticed. When I was safely away from them, I asked Ali if they were the religious police and he said yes. I thought that the religious police no longer existed but I guess I was wrong.
We arrived at the Canadian Embassy at 2 pm. Unfortunately, my Letter of Recommendation was not ready. I needed it as soon as possible as the Syrian Embassy closed at 3. I had to wait until 230 to get it into my hands. While in the waiting room, I met another Iranian man with his young 11 year old daughter. It turns out that this guy has been living in Canada for over 20 years and the Canadian government just suspended him. I asked him what that meant and he said he had to leave the country for 30 days but was then free to return. I didn't think this made any sense. I can't see any government suspending someone. Either you stay for good or gone for good. I asked why he got suspended and he explained that the Canadian government found out about his ties to a controversial political party he once belonged to over 20 years ago. I didn't ask any more questions after that. The guy then felt the need to tell me about how bad his family life was back home - in front of his young daughter. He explained how his wife just left them for some guy she met on the internet and that now the wife was trying to take the kids away from him. I really didn't want to hear it, especially with his young daughter there. I just said I wished him luck and that I hope that he and his wife would do their best to keep their kids away from all of the issues they were trying to solve.
After I got my letter in my hands, Ali and I found a cab to take us to the Syrian Embassy. We arrived at the Embassy 10 minutes before the official closing time. Unfortunately, they didn't feel like taking any other people today so I was forced to return tomorrow. Damn! I really wanted to get this visa situation over with.
My plan was to do some sight seeing as I really didn't do too much of it at this point in Tehran. The problem was that Ali was really hungry. Because it was Ramadan, all the restaurants were closed. I offered for him to go to my hotel and we could eat in the lobby but he said he was too uncomfortable as there would be Iranian people there. The funny thing I have learned while being here is that very few people fast. Many people still eat during the day during Ramadan. But they all eat at home. No one eats outside for a few reasons. One, it is disrespectful to the others who are really fasting. Two, the police will say something if they see you. Three, you want people to think you are fasting (even though many people don't fast anyway). It seems like many people just pretend to fast. So we had a dilemma. Ali was trying to get me to go to his friend Shayse's house so we could go eat but I wasn't interested for many reasons. One, I wasn't hungry. Two, I wanted to see the sights. Three, Shayse's place was an hour away. But he would make me feel guilty about saying no. It really frustrated me as he was so adamant that I go with him. I was grateful for everything he did for me but at the same time I didn't want to feel like a hostage. I think it was the first time on my trip that I became angry and Ali noticed it. He would say "I want you to be relaxed. If you suffer, I suffer. Do what you want. If you are relaxed, then I am relaxed." However each time I would say I didn't want to go to Shayse's place, he would bring up an argument for why I should go. SO I just said yes. I put on a fake smile and we grabbed a cab to his friend's place. I said that there would be no way that he would pay for the cab ride as he paid for almost everything at this point. I didn't like this as he was a student. He didn't like this. I was starting to realize that he was very uncomfortable with me paying as it made him look bad in front of other Iranians. It seemed like being a good host was an important thing in Iran and that it would make him look like a terrible host if others saw me pay. It was something I couldn't get used to but at the same time I didn't want him to lose face in front of his people. To fight this problem, I would wait until no one was looking and offer him money. Most of the time he would refuse it but once in a while he would take it if he saw that I was getting mad. He would never accept the money if I offered it in front of a shop keeper, a cab driver or a waiter.
I was pretty quiet in the cab. I was a bit frustrated with not being able to do what I really wanted to do. I guess it is why I travel alone. I hate compromising. I suspected that my silence may make Ali uncomfortable so I just started talking to him in English knowing that this would trigger the cab driver's curiosity about me which would make Ali happy as the cab driver would then ask Ali about me. Everything unfolded as I expected. Ali was happy again and I was getting there. After the cab ride, we took the metro. I played the game again. I started talking to him and these young people standing next to us went over to Ali and asked questions about me. He just loves the attention.
Before we walked over to Shayse's house, we stopped by some small shops to buy food. We were in an interesting neighborhood. All of the women were dressed in Chadors. They were covered in black from head to toe. AT this point I had mainly seen women with head scarves with the occasional woman in a Chador. But here all the women had their bodies covered. I sensed that we were in a very conservative Tehran neighborhood. I also saw several traditional bakeries where the men were making the traditional Iranian bread.
Shayse's apartment was really nice. It looked like a penthouse apartment. It was absolutely huge with lots of open space. While Shayse showered and Ali prepared the food, I turned on the TV to see what was on. It was interesting to go through every station and notice that they had the same type of shows that we did. I watched a cooking show, a day time talk show, a children's show, and a few 24 hr/day news channels. The one key difference was how the hosts of each show wore the head scarves or the full Chadore.
Both Shayse and Ali were dressed in shorts. Ali changed as soon as he entered Shayse's place. It was the only time they were allowed to wear shorts - when they were inside. At one point Shayse had to pick something up at the front door which meant he had to change into a pair of pants before he could retrieve whatever was waiting for him downstairs. I could never live with so many rules. But I guess you just get used to it.
I eventually became happy with my decision to go to Shayse's house as we had some interesting discussions. Ali and Shayse explained to me some of the restrictions the people of Iran had to deal with. Here are some of the things I learned:
-Men could only wear shorts outside if they were playing sports.
-Women were never allowed to wear shorts outside, even if they were playing sports. They always had to wear long pants and a head scarf.
-Men were not allowed to watch women play sports
-There were swimming pools in Iran but men and women were each designated days of the week. Women were allowed to wear bikinis though as they were only in the company of women.
-People were not allowed to have parties in their own home (although this rule was often broken). Shayse said that if his neighbors found out about a party, they would call the police. He does have small gatherings once every 2 months though.
-Satellite dishes were not allowed but this was another rule that was often broken as well.
-In big cities, it was "almost" fine to be seen in public with someone you weren't married to. SO it was possible to take a girl out to a restaurant or a movie in a big city like Tehran although some women will feel uncomfortable. It was not an option in smaller cities as the police would stop you and ask what you were doing.
-If you are interested in a girl, the process is supposed to be that you approach the girl's parents and let them know about your interest. If they like you, they invite you over to meet their daughter. The parents never leave the room. If the girl likes you, you can see each other. But most of the time your dates are limited to home of the boy's or girl's home. So meeting people of the opposite sex and dating is very difficult in Iran.
-If you want to marry a girl, you have to ask her parent's permission first. If they say no, you are out of luck. You need to move on. This happened to Ali. He dated someone for 2 years and the family didn't approve of him as his family was working class and they were upper class.
-Most restaurants are closed during the day during Ramadan. Some remain open but you are not allowed to eat there. You must take your food away and eat it at home.
While we were eating, I actually dropped mayonnaise on Shayse's beautiful Persian rug. I felt really bad but of course he is the host so he said it wasn't a problem. He didn't seem too bothered. He later had to leave to pick something up at the airport. While he was gone, Ali and I ate some watermelon. I must have been the guest from hell as I dropped some melon on his ottoman and his carpet. I left some nice red stains on both of them. Shit! I wanted to leave before Shayse came back as I was embarrassed. I was glad that we did.
At 7 pm we made our way back to my hotel where my bag was. I still had to find a cheaper place to sleep. I was afraid all the nearby options would be full. The metro ride was pretty interesting. I noticed a few things:
-The metro had speakers so people could hear the daily prayers. It was really nice hearing them while we were on the metro.
-The first and last metro carts were reserved for women. Men were not allowed to sit in these carts although women could actually sit wherever they wanted.
Of course people came over to us when they heard us speak English. Ali would need to answer the same questions over and over again but he definitely didn't mind. I realized that today was more for him than it was for me. I initially thought that he was worried about me finding my way in Tehran so he wanted to be my guide but I think he just likes being with a foreigner and getting the attention he was receiving. I was fine with this. He was a really nice guy and was making my stay in Tehran an amazing one.
During the long metro ride, I decided to write in my journal as I didn't want to forget about all the things that happened to me today. People were really curious about what I was writing. This made me a bit concerned. I remember hearing about a Lonely Planet writer who got arrested twice in Iran for suspected spying. I didn't want the wrong people to think I was taking notes for my government. I know I was being paranoid for no reason. But I feel the same paranoia when I take pictures and videos while walking the streets of Tehran. People are not free here and have to put up with so many rules that I am never sure of what I can or cannot take pictures of. What rules applied to me? For instance, can I take pictures of women? Ali always says it isn't a problem but at the same time me always hesitates when I ask him. Anyhow, I think I will find my comfort level as I see more of Iran. Overall, I have loved every minute of being here. I feel like I am in a place where very few people decide to come. I have seen so few travelers the last couple of days. Less than a handful and all of them were at my hotel. I feel like I did while I was traveling Africa. It just feels dangerous (which it isn't) and adventurous (which it is) being here.
When we arrived at my hotel, I told the manager I would return in 10 minutes to pick up my bag as I wanted to find another place to stay at (that was cheaper). Ali tagged along. I told him I wanted to take him out to dinner after I found a place to sleep. Unfortunately, all the cheap places were booked. I did find one place which was a real shit hole but yet it was only $5 a night. The alternative was spending $20/ night. I was seriously considering taking the place but what stopped me from committing to it was Ali's look of disbelief. He looked at me and said "You cannot stay here. It is dirty and has no bathroom or air conditioning." I laughed and said I stayed in much worse places. He said he didn't understand why I would stay in a place like this as I was a "rich man". I told him I wasn't rich and that I needed to make sure I didn't run out of money before my trip was over. I knew he couldn't understand the backpacker mentality of staying in dirt cheap places allowing yourself to see more, eat more and experiencing more. I eventually went back to my hotel and they said that I could have a double room for $18 which was $6 less than what they normally charged. I just took it as I didn't want Ali to think I was some poor guy. You could see that the whole experience shocked him. He couldn't believe the places I was considering to stay in. What made it more confusing to him is that yesterday I refused his offer of letting me stay at Shayse's place. He couldn't understand why I would stay in such a shit hole but not his friend's place. I just didn't want to stay 90 minutes away from the city. Anyhow, Ali then said he wasn't hungry and didn't want me to take him out to dinner. I knew he was thinking I couldn't afford to take him out which wasn't the case. I said I wouldn't take no for an answer and that we were going to go somewhere nice as the one thing I spent a lot of money on was food. He reluctantly said yes. He had no choice. This time it was my face that needed saving.
It took us a while to find a restaurant that was open. It was almost 10 pm and everything seemed closed. I actually failed in finding a nice place to eat. Instead we ate at some mom and pop type place. I think this made Ali more comfortable. I then wanted to go out and smoke some Sheesha but Ali was not interested. I think he didn't want me to spend more money. Now he knew how I felt towards him spending all his money on me. SO we just called it a night. We made another cab driver excited when we went back to my hotel. The guy actually spoke perfect English as he worked as a mechanic for Bell Helicopter for 30 years which allowed him to work in English speaking countries for a while.
Before Ali left, he insisted he come with me to the Syrian embassy tomorrow. I wasn't going to fight it. It wasn't necessary but he wanted to come. I thanked him for everything he did for me.
After he left, I went for a walk through the neighborhood. It was so quiet, so different from the chaos I normally see outside my hotel during the day. I wanted to do something on my own even if it was for a short while. Ali had taken care of everything over the last 2 days and I just wanted to do something as simple as buying a drink on my won without anyone's help. SO I walked until I could find a shop. It took me about 20 minutes to find a place that was opened. I ordered a banana shake and a large bottle of water. It was simple but I needed to do it. Independent travelers need to feel independent every once in a while.
Dino Vagabond
