Saying Goodbye

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Trip Start May 23, 2007 Previous
Entry Trip End Oct 03, 2007

  Quetzaltenango, Guatemala
Monday, September 17, 2007

The time has finally come, time to pack up and ship out.  Two weeks ago when I moved up the date of my return I couldnīt wait to get back home.  My mission seemed complete and I thought the two weeks would feel like time was standing still.  But things went quickly with everything I had to wrap up. 

A week and half before leaving, after class one Wednesday I walked to the house where I lived my first 10 days here.  I wanted to visit with the family before leaving and give them some Iowa gifts.  The mother and I chatted and she was impressed with my Spanish skills - she said it was enough, I guess enough to get by and communicate.  Over coffee the father walked in from work and he had the biggest grin for me.  He was so glad to see me again.  I was happy I made the effort to walk to their house in the rain that day because it worked out just perfect.

That Friday was supposed to be a day of running errands, but Thursday night I sprained my ankle.  Well that night I though I broke it at first because the pain was so unbearable.  Then I thought it could be a fracture.  So Friday morning I consulted my nurse mother and had to call in to the daycare center.  There was no way I could handle two year olds when I couldnīt put any weight on my left foot and was barely limping around.  I sat with my foot up and ice on it that day and my two Guatemalean roomies gave me a hard time about having bad luck and they hoped I didnīt remember Guatemala for all my incidents like the ankle, my sore toe, the finger I burned cooking dinner one night, etc.  I was just thankful that my ankle was getting better throughout the day and that it looked like I would not be coming home in a cast!

My final week begins and Monday is a slow day because the daycare center is closed.  I only have one class to teach this day.  Sunday was the primary for the Presidential election here so Monday was a holiday for many people.  I thought the week would drag on, but things got real busy leading up to my final day of volunteering.  I thought I would finish the week at the daycare center, but I found out it would be closed Thursday and Friday for the celebrations leading up to Saturdayīs Independence Day.  So Wednesday was my big and final day.

I picked up a cake on my way to the daycare center to share with the teachers as well as the kids.  The night before I wrote what I thought would go in this blog because I needed to write out some emotions.  I was in tears just thinking about saying goodbye to the kids, so I was nervous I would be a wreck on Wednesday.  I walked in the door and Pamela, the girl who screams if you say the word no to another kid, she said buenas dias to me and ran over and gave me a hug without being prompted.  I was overwhelmed because she was the kid that took the longest to warm up to me.  But the kids were cranky on Wednesday and pulling hair and biting so I wasnīt a total crying mess that morning.  I took lots of photos of the kids and some are with me.  But the hour had finally arrived.  I hugged them all and said goodbye.  The hardest part was that they didnīt know or understand that I would not be coming back.  They may not remember me but I will always cherish each one of them in my heart forever.

Then I grabbed the bus to the supermarket to get a cake and supplies for the fiesta I was throwing my students that afternoon.  I was getting everything ready when the students started to show up.  I had no idea how many would show up, but the week before I gave my host family a list of names of my regular students so they could spread the word about the party.  Since attendance had been low the last couple weeks I was afraid some of my students would not know about it and I wanted photos of as many of them as possible.  As they were arriving I started the students on some sit down games with English words.  I also had made little posters for them to sign their names and write a message or picture for me with markers.  Then some of the women from the church showed up along with the mother of the family I lived with.  They wanted to thank me for my service.  The pastors were on the coast that day, but another man came to do the honors.  He had us form a circle and he let the kids know that my service to them was unpaid, which I had never mentioned to them before.  Then we prayed and then he performed a blessing over me.  It was a very new experience for me and not the kind of thing that I am acustomed to, but I found it comforting and very peaceful.  Then the women sang some songs and I recognized the tune of two even though I did not know the words in Spanish.

After that everyone in the circle worked their way towards me to give me a hug and say thank you.  A few people down the line was my host mom and her words brought tears to my eyes.  Then my students were hugging and thanking me.  I was overwhelmed when some of them handed me gifts, souvenirs made of wood as well as a homemade card.  I expected nothing from them.  One of the parents showed up and she thanked me 3 or 4 times for coming and teaching her daughter.  I knew I would cry at the end of the fiesta, but I wasnīt expecting it before things had really gotten started.

The women had to leave for another function and so I started some games with the kids.  Then we had cake and soda while I played the cd for them of the songs they had learned in English.  Some of them can sing Awesome God very, very well.  Then the party was over and I started to thank all of them and I said I was going to miss all of them and my voice cracked and tears escaped.  It really caught their attention when I showed so much emotion at saying goodbye to them.  All of them hugged me and said thank you and goodbye.  Some of the older, regulars stayed around to help clean up and postpone the goodbye for a little while.  I had done a raffle giving away things I used to teach and would not be taking back home.  The oldest and brightest girl, Silvia won my Spanish-English dictionary.  I knew she would get good use out of it and she seemed pleased with her win.  Liliom was a great student who had not been to class the last 2 or 3 weeks.  I was so happy to see her show up for the fiesta.  She won an Iowa bookmark in the raffle and she was emotional in her goodbye and she held that bookmark like it was worth a million dollars.  But finally all the goodbyes were said and I boarded the Santa Fe bus back to Xela for the last time.

That night I said goodbye to two long term roommates.  Johanna had to return to Austria.  Jose was going to be gone to his home in Huehuetenango for the Independence day holiday.  It was a really hard and long day and on Thursday I was exhausted.  I had two days to get my bus fair and run errands in Xela.  My friend Susan from England and I walked around one afternoon just taking photos of Xela.  We didnīt feel comfortable walking around with our cameras out on our own so it worked out perfectly.

Saturday morning was finally here and I had to say goodbye to the roommate I was closest to.  He helped me a lot with my Spanish and cooking over the 3 months we lived in the same apartment.  The four of us, Johanna, Jose, Manuel and myself had become a family for each other.  A family away from home.  We shared things like anti-cold medicine and tea and food when there was a need or extra.  We praticed Spanish and English together, shared photos of friends and family back home and laughed together.  Manuel said he was very sad I was leaving and he would miss me.  He hoped I would return to Guatemala in the future.  I said I hope so, but I couldnīt say anymore.  After he left the emotion of all the goodbyes that week hit me so hard I had to stop packing for an hour and just let the tears and sobs pour out of me.  I was going out for dinner with my friend Susan that night and it would be just as hard to say goodbye to her.  We become so close during our time here together and I never imagined to get so close to someone so far from home.  I know that her and I will meet again in the future and stay in touch, but with the others it is very unlikely.  I think that is why it was so hard to say goodbye, because it was a final goodbye.

I realized Saturday that the hardest thing I had ever done in my life was to make the committment to come to Guatemala and actually arrive here.  Now the hardest thing I have ever done in my life is leave Guatemala.  Yesterday I wasnīt even sure why I was leaving, when it hurt this much, but eventually the time would have come when I had to say goodbye.  In the past I have been guarded with how much of my heart I gave away so I would not get hurt.  But I arrived in Guatemala with a positive attitude and an open heart.  I gave all I had and Guatemala gave right back with its people, culture and kids.  I have received so many blessings here and been so loved for being me that I will never, ever forget this experience.  I am so overjoyed that I followed God down this path and I can not imagine what my life would be like without having lived here in Guatemala for these past four months.  I plan to continue practicing my Spanish and get involved in the Hispanic Ministry Outreach in the Methodist Church when I return.  And someday I will come back to Guatemala on a Team Mission and maybe even be the interpreter! 

Thank you so much for supporting me with your emails, prayers and donations.  Even though my heart is breaking right now to be leaving my home for the last four months I would not have done anything any different.  I look forward to seeing all of you again when I return home.  I will be back in Iowa on Tuesday and I am excited to share all my photos and stories when I return. 

Love and Blessings,
dianaj25

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