The Dark Days

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  Oxford, England, United Kingdom
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

     So as I had briefly mentioned in an earlier post we don't really feel safe at dark around here, especially on weekends. I thought I would cover some of the second impressions of England that we have discovered.
 
     When we first got here we had a very good first impression. Everyone we talked to, the places we stayed at, and the people we asked for directions were very courteous and helpful. We thought it was a very friendly place and felt safe and right at home. This view of England is slowly changing for us however. While the adult crowd is very friendly the teen crowd is something to be discussed. There is a very big problem here with their youth and Scott has seen it lots in his school and we have all seen it lots on the street. They have no respect, manners, morals, or care for anything. Big emphasis on the respect side of things. There a bunch of snotty youth that think they own the world and don't have to listen to anyone or anything you say to them. They have no moral upbringing and have no respect for anyone else around them. Most of the time it's for no apparent reason too, a simple asking of directions is meet with a response of "F*** you foreigner, I'll f*** slit your throat". It's really appalling and disgusting. I think part of it stems from having no parental guidance anymore. You will see little children running around the streets past midnight and just shake your head. The youth has gotten so out of control that even good parents are having troubles controlling their kids. Once they get the attitude of 'I don't have to listen to you' in their heads it is pretty much hopeless.
 
     To take some of Scott's stories in the classroom he will ask a kid to move and will be meet with one of two responses "No!" or "Why?". He asks them again and same thing, at this point at least being a teacher he has detentions and kicking out of class to fall back on which usually gets them to finally obey. He will walk into class to them yelling and cursing at each other calling other students names that I need not mention. How do you control kids that have gotten this bad? In the old days there were consequences for your actions. You didn't dare talk to a teacher or adult like that because you feared the consequences. Society has stripped all the powers of discipline and consequence from us and now the kids are running ramped. They know they can backtalk and say and do what they want because they will just get away with it.
 
     Some examples of this power being stripped are the youth offenders act. I believe that if a youth commits a crime that they should be tried and convicted as adults. For a kid to beat someone to death and get a slap on the wrist and go to a youth camp till there 18 and then get let back onto the streets is not helping the cause. These kids can get away with murder until their 18th birthday and then get cleared of everything. They are finally starting to realize it too, especially here.
 
     I heard recently that they were trying to ban and outlaw being able to spank your own child. While I can see the grounds on this with getting carried away and child abuse it's an outrage to think that if your kid misbehaves you can't give him a swat on the ass to smarten him up. Next time he will think twice about talking back because he fears the consequence and knows that there will be one. This is a touchy subject and I don't think abuse is the answer to any problem but sometimes a kid deserves a swat when there lipping off or misbehaving. It's an example of a consequence for their actions. I don't however feel that they should get hit every time they do something wrong. Harsh language and strong words and family lectures will work on some kids, kids with morals and respect. But you take the kids we see here today and do you think when they smack a kid in class that sitting them down and yelling at them for an hour is going to change their ways of thinking. There just going to sit there and smirk and laugh the whole time knowing that in an hour he can go skipping out of the school like nothing happened.
 
    To hear these stories makes me sad to think how far we have fallen as a society. No respect for adults, teachers, or parents anymore is a problem that will only spiral out of control; and so far it is. It's getting to the point where you are scared to go near these kids. The worst part being that most of the time you get the responses "I'll slit your throat". They seem to have replaced the common term of "F*** you" that we so commonly hear back in Canada with "I'll slit your throat". You hear it constantly and it scares the hell out of me. You can pretty much guarantee none of these kids would actually do it but some would. And how do you know if they actually have a knife on them or not. I have heard of quite a few beatings and stabbings since we got here and it just emphasises the point of that you really don't know. To have kids walking round throwing death threats around like candy is appalling. Both Scott and I have had this term thrown at us a couple of times now and it really chills you to the bone. They aren't good on their word and just walk away but it still makes you think what if one of these kids is good for it. I myself am disgusted and sick of hearing that I'm going to get my throat slit by every little punk that walks near you. I think I can vouch for Scott on this one too that he is sick of hearing it on the street and seeing the outright disrespect in the classrooms. 
 
     There are also a lot of large gangs all over Oxford full of these kids and they are very bold and travel in huge numbers. Most the kids you hear throwing death threats around are harmless but these gang kids are the ones you need to watch out for. They do have knives and they will stab you and beat you to death. In the time we have been here I have woke up in the mornings quite a few times hearing about the latest beating or stabbing and it's all over the papers as well. One of the people Aimee works with their friend had to have reconstructive surgery on his face after being mauled by a group of these kids.
 
     There really isn't much you can do about it either as they travel in packs of dozen or more. There was one occasion in particular we were walking home threw a park after dark on a Friday after getting some groceries. The closest large grocery store we know of requires us to walk threw a park which is fine during the day but being in a pitch black park away from eyes at night is a little unnerving. All three of us were together but as we neared the end of the park and we passed the storage shed on the other side was a group of about 20 of them with shopping carts full of beer and every single one of them turned and looked at us when we came around the corner. We avoided eye contact and just kept walking but it chilled you to the bone as they watched us walk all the way out of the park before turning back to what they were doing.
 
     On another occasion we went on a beer run down to the local liquor board. Getting there and back requires us to pass over or under the Ring Road. This is a very busy road and they don't slow down so they put an underpass that you can walk underneath it which we usually use as it saves trying to sprint across the thing between cars. However you can if you choose go over it. The tunnel underneath has some lights but it's still a dark creepy tunnel away from public eye that could be a great hangout for people waiting to jump others. Everything kind of funnels threw this tunnel if as it's the only crossing of the Ring Road for quite a distance. On the way there we made it thru fine and nobody was there but it still made us uneasy as it was again Friday night and dark out.
 
     When we got to the liquor board some very unusual and unnerving events unfolded. When we approached the store Scott was the only one getting something so he went in and Aimee and I stayed outside near the door. Standing beside us were these two young people probably around the ages of 17. They were hiding around the corner just out of view of the glass front to the place. It was a male and female and they were bickering with each other quietly but we did pick up that they were talking about the fact Aimee and I was standing there. I caught the female saying "just go talk to them I'm sure they won't do anything" and he was arguing the point. Eventually the girl walked up to us and said "Ok, whatever your about to see don't do anything just pretend you're asking me for directions" the male then piped up and said "If you do or say anything I'll slit your throats." The girl then responded with "Shut up man, just go do it." Confused and kind of in shock at what was happening we just stood there talking to her while the male walked into the liquor board grabbed some bottles and then bolted out and down the street. And he was fast; he was out of sight in no time. The owner or worker at the time kind of sprinted to the door but then stopped and just turned around and went back inside. Scott was just leaving and came back up to us and we started walking away with the girl still in our company. She then turned off into a local cafe we passed and meet up with what looked to be the thief and a bunch of other kids. He had switched sweaters and hats but I'm pretty sure it was him.
 
     We kind of wanted to do or say something but not knowing if they had knives or how many of them there could be we just went against our morals and upbringing and let things go. We weren't about to risk getting jumped by a gang or stabbed over some kid robbing the local liquor board. Risk analysis said just let it happen and let's get home before we die out here. I had heard and read about enough stabbings and beatings that I wasn't going to get involved in anything involving youth out here. Especially since we walk these streets daily as it's near our home, don't need to start some kind of gang revenge war against us. Kind of glad we didn't get involved after seeing about a dozen of them in the cafe afterwards. If we had of done something we would have had to walk past the group and I'm pretty sure things would have gotten bad fast.
 
     Totally amazed at what just took place we carried on our way and under the Ring Road. When we entered the tunnel there was four youth standing under there again that immediately turned and looked at us. Two of them began walking straight at us. Scott was holding his beer under his arm without a bag and the one started asking to buy a beer from us for a dollar. We said no and just kept on walking as they tailed us thru the tunnel. We had said enough that they picked up we weren't local and once again we heard that all mighty phrase. "F***en foreigners" and they snatched a beer from Scott and began walking away saying "I'll slit your throats". Again we wanted to do something but a 50p beer was not worth starting a fight over and we just carried on finally making it home safely.
 
     After all these events, readings, radio reports, the kids at Scott's school we laid some new ground rules. We were no longer going to travel at night on weekends unless we really had too and in that case we would make sure it was the three of us. We were no longer going to use that tunnel at night and would brave sprinting across the street instead. Whether or not any of these kids were good on their word was not our concern anymore. We would avoid and hopefully we will make it out of this country in one piece. The youth pretty much own the streets at night and I would rather just avoid them then deal with any of it.
 
     With all that being said it's not all doom and gloom out here. We have walked the streets at nights numerous times with no incident. These are just the nights that went bad out of being here for a month and a half walking the streets every day and most nights. So while we do feel slightly uneasy at times it is extremely safe if you stay on the lit streets and public areas. Downtown is covered in cops at night and as long as you stick the main streets you really have nothing to worry about. We learned our lesson and will avoid dark out of view places from now on and I'm sure we will be fine. I just never really expected something like this when we first came here or even after a month of being here. It was only recently that things went to hell at nights and we realized that this place is a little scary at times.
 
     I find there society very rude and inconsiderate at times and the fact of not being able to walk alone at night is very unnerving although I have done it. You're just on edge the whole time. I can honestly say while we are enjoying our time here and will continue to do so this is not a country I would ever want to permanently live in. I think the others feel the same. We still have lots to see and do but once our time is up I think we will be parting ways forever as it's a nice place to visit but not to live. It was only when we permanently set down here that we saw the raw underbelly of the city which was hidden the entire time we lived as tourists. Amazing what you find under the shadows in a city as touristy as this place is.

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