Hoi An

  Hoi An, Vietnam
Monday, November 19, 2007

The bus trip from Hue was comfortable in the bus but very wet outside. It was mostly flat land until we were approaching Danang. Some mountains loomed ahead and we thought we were in for another crawl up and down. To our surprise we went straight under the mountain through an impressively long tunnel leading straight to Danang and on a short distance to Hoi An.
Just before arriving in Hoi An we picked up a man who turned out to be working for the bus company.The bus company has their own hotels so it is his job to snap up any tourists without a reservation. We stopped at the An Phu Hotel and were encouraged to have look at the rooms. The ones we saw were all quite nice. We chose a $20/night room that included a buffet breakfast. We were given advice about where to buy our clothes. We were told to visit a tailor 3 doors down, and definitely NOT the tailor 2 doors down. Apparently hotels have commission deals with certain tailors and it is best to ignore this advice and work it out for yourself. We settled in then went off to explore the sites of the charming old sector of Hoi An.

Hoi An market seller

As soon as you leave the hotel people are tryng to get you to buy things. Deb & I are convinced now that the most used words in the english language are, "Hello Madam,you come look my shop?"
Although the people here constantly ask for your interest in their wares they are not pushy about it. They are friendly and polite and respond well to a pleasant, "No thankyou ", delivered with a smile.
Deb decided she wanted to visit the cloth market, which is an under cover area filled with cloth sellers/tailors all busting to make you anything form a "g" string to an entire wardrobe, all at "Cheap price for you!"
We avoided making any commitment to look until Deb gave into a shoe seller who had the Duc Tuan Shoe Shop stall just out side the cloth market.

Deb's boot fitting

They gave us catelogues to look through and promised to tailor make any picture we liked. We decided to give them a try with 1 pair each, with an option for more if they were well made. We paid a deposit and were told to come back tomorrow to try them on.
When about to leave the shoe store the proprieter of "90 Tailor" shop hooked us back in to the cloth market to "Look her shop". We decided we might as well give her a try and chose a dress style for Deb and a shirt for me. Same deal as with the shoe shop, be back tomorrow for the results.
After this challenging experience it was time for Happy Hour and a bite to eat.

Craig enjoys a Beer Hoi

We decided on a small restaurant just outside the hotel. The staff were very pleasant and the food was good. The young man working there asked us to visit his mother's shop after dinner. The shop was Tony Tailor. He explained it was named after him as his translated name is Tony. We agreed even though this was the dreaded tailor the hotel had warned us against.
We were greeted at Tony Tailor with a bottle of water and an arm full of catelogues. Deb decided to try a couple of dresses. I said if the dresses were good I might have a suit or 2 made. Again, come back tomorrow for the try on. Our schedule for tomorrow was rapidly filling. At this rate would have to hire a personal assistant to make sure we got to all our fittings on time!
"Fitting" day dawned overcast and rainy. After heavy rain overnight the locals were talking of a second flood in a week within the next few days.

Flooded streets of Hoi An

All our fittings went surprisingly well, we were very impressed wth the quality of the product. All 3 businesses received more orders, much to their dellight. We were most impressed with the shoes. They were very classy looking and the fit was excellent. Actually the fit with pretty much everything we tried was very good. Very few things needed alteration. We both ordered more shoes. We ordered more outfits for Deb and shirts and pants for me from 90 Tailor. The quality from Tony Tailor was also good so I ordered 2 suits and Deb ordered more tops and dresses. Looks like the next day would be another fitting day!
When we returned to the hotel we were greeted with VERY loud traditional Vietnamese music blaring out from a loud speaker located in the property next to the Hotel. Unfortunately our window was in quite close proximity to the loudspeaker. At first we found it quite amusing. What we didn't realise, however, was that this was a Vetnamese funeral, and they continue for 3 days! The music goes all day, finishing about 10pm. The silence was broken again at 6am on day 2 and 4am (**##!) on day 3! The music is nothing short of bloody awful. It is like cats fighting out side your bedroom window. To the unintiated it seems to be a dischordant, torturous, wailing.
Lying awake I invented my own"Just So" story to explain the origins of Vietnamese traditional music. Here it is:
"Many centuries ago there was a great flood. The powerful cat clans of the time retreated to the mountain tops for safety. One of the greatest of all cat clan leaders was Ho Chi Minx. As the waters receded Ho Chi Minx sent his minions out to retrieve survivors. To his surprise they returned with 4 human babies washed away from their homes by the torrent. Ho chi Minx took pity on the waifs and decided to raise them as his own. He named them Sox, Fluffy, Felix and Tiddles.
The Humans were raised in the feline way. They were taught to trust the all powerful thread that bound and guided the existance of all cats, known as ... "The Cream".
Unknown to Ho Chi Minx, a dark force was brewing in the west. An evil cat clan leader, known as Darth Purrer, was planning to overthrow Ho Chi Minx. Darth Purrer had strayed from the righteous path of "The Cream" and had turned .....to the SOUR SIDE!
War raged across the land for the next 20 years. The air was constantly filled with the ear shattering strains of feline fisticuffs. The war culmnated in the fiercest of all the battles. Ho Chi Minx and Darth Purrer battled one on one for 3 days and 3 nights. Things were looking bleak for Ho Chi Minx when he heard the voice of his ancestors say, "Trust "The Cream" Ho Chi Minx". In one final surge Ho Ci Minx struck Darth Purrer a mighty blow. As Lord Purrer lay dying he took off the battle mask revealing his true identity. He was ...... Ho Chi Minx's father! In the last few moments of Darth Purrer's life father and son were reunited and Darth's spirit rose to be with his ancestors and share "The Cream".
Ho chi Minx now began a lasting reign of peace. Silence was golden. Ho Chi Minx called Sox, Fluffy, Felix and Tiddles to his side. He commamded they make instruments that will remind future generations of the sounds and lessons of the great cat wars.
For 20 years Sox, Fluffy, Felix and Tiddles worked to perfect the sound. As an aging Ho Chi Minx lay on his death litter Sox, Fluffy, Felix and Tiddles played, for the first time, the instruments they had made. They had so faithfully recreated the sounds of cats in battle that Ho Chi Minx promptly died so his spirit could be carired off to the peacefulness of the after life. The new instruments also served a second, unexpected,  purpose. The sounds they made scared the absolute bejezus out of any evil spirits wishing to do Ho Chi Minx harm.
Since that day ancestors of Sox, Fluffy, Felix and Tiddles have spread across the land playing the instruments of fear at all important occassions where evil spirits need to be kept at bay.
And thus it was that Vietnamese traditional music was born."
(The author wishes to note that any resemblance to persons living or dead (especilly those having anything to do with George Lucas) is purely coincidental.)
 
As I lay there at 4am on the 3rd morning of mourning I suddenly realised that this form of music was not entirely unfamiliar to me. A "western" traveller must have come to this "country" many years ago and heard the awful caterwauling these instruments make. Hearing the story behind them he decided "western" cultures needed to understand them. He took the sound of this "country" and blended and moulded it into a "western" music form. And so it came to be that "Country" & "Western" music was inflicted upon the world.
 
(Have you guessed from this amount of irrelevent babble that it is pissing down outside and I don't feel like gong out? Actually it is more than pissing down. A typhoon in the South China Sea is expected to make land fall right about here (Na Trang) within the next 24 hrs! Should be interesting!)
 
Back to Hoi An Shopping. The suits made by Tony were excellent. Deb ordered a few more things but decided to be strong after that as (in her words), "You could go crazy here."
It may sound that no matter who you choose you will get good quality. Not so, I think we were just lucky. Deb ordered some shoes from another seller. Although cheaper she was disappointed with the quality compared to her original seller. By the time Deb had finished with the original shoe seller she was drawing a crowd to each fitting! When she arrived for the last time to collect her fabulously made boots, there were about 10 other sellers flocking to see what the crazy Australians would order next!

Shoe fitting crowd gathers

We got representatives from the Post Office to come to the hotel so we could send our booty home. Not cheap, but markedly more economical than paying excess baggage at the airport.
On the 20th Nov every year it is Teachers' Day. This is a public holiday where families visit one of the many flower stalls that have sprung up all over the city and buy a bunch of flowers. Parents then take their children to the house of the teacher to deliver the flowers. A nice tradition I think.

Hoi An Teachers' Day

To any wishing to visit Hoi An we throughly recommend:
Tony Tailor - 294 Nguyen Duy Hieu St
90 Shop Tailor - Shop 90 Market Tran Phu St
Duc Tuan Shoe Shop (just outside & to the right of 90 Tailor)  
And now on to Nha Trang to face the fierce forces of mother nature!

Grubs for sale