You're a Turkey

Trip Start Apr 25, 2012
Trip End Nov 12, 2012

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Where I stayed
The Bad Bus
What I did
Beautiful Places, Beautiful People

Flag of Turkey  , Turkish Mediterranean Coast,
Thursday, September 6, 2012

I had arrived in Turkey, and it was disturbingly different
from anywhere else I had been so far. These people are strange, at least in
Istanbul, and it's no fun when you have to put up with stalkers and
transvestites and other strange people on the streets at night time.

I also feel like my human rights are being abused when I have
to pay for things like using the toilet and even going to the beach! But by far
the most annoying thing was putting up with the painful wailing sounds of the
call to prayer five freaking times a day! Despite all this, I have to say that
the Turkish girls are really beautiful. Really, they are right up there with
the girls from Iceland, Slovakia, and Serbia. But the difference here was that they
were very tricky, and the majority had this hairy or hideously ugly thing with
his arms all over her. I found myself constantly singing 'is she really going
out with him?’

So I got off the plane in Istanbul, and like many times
before it was a case of ‘what next?’ Once I figured myself out I met up with
Osman. He’s a young Kurdish bloke and one of the nicest guys you could ever
meet, although with a unique accent that was at times difficult to understand.
Unfortunately my early days in Turkey were tarnished by sickness again, and I
decided enough was enough and took a few days off while taking medication. But
on Saturday night I managed to get myself up for a boat party on the Bospherus.
I wish I could say that I had a great night. It was okay and the Sea of Marmara
was really beautiful. But it was cold, the music was terrible, and I also got
hit on by a gay man. The problem was simple. When you are on a boat, you can’t
go home when you stop having fun. Lesson learned that boat parties are

Despite its flaws, Istanbul really is an amazing city. Mostly
due to the sickness, I would have more fun on my return in a week, but for now
it was time to leave for a bit because Osman couldn’t have me in his guest room
for over a week. I made a very last minute decision to go to Antalya, one of
the most visited cities in the world apparently. The 10 hour overnight bus ride
was a bit of a marathon however, and it wasn’t helped by the overly obese
luggage handler who sat next to me when I was trying to sleep. He wasn’t happy
with me taking up my entire seat and thought it would be fairer for him to
squish me up against the window, and got very aggressive about it. He couldn’t
speak a word of English, which made for a rather amusing exchange initially.
Since I was a paying customer, I was very stubborn and refused to give the guy
any more space, to which he responded with an elbow to my face! The other staff
members were less than impressed with him and there was some heated Turkish
exchange between them as I held my eye. I’m not sure what the outcome was after
the trip, but I hope the fat bastard got the sack!

Clearly I had missed the peak season in Antalya, and the
lack of English was a little frustrating for a tourist town. I would describe
Antalya as beautiful, but boring. The trip was made more fun by a couple of
French girls and the Italian bloke that I shared a room with. His name was Niko.
I’ve mentioned before that Italians are the sleaziest blokes I’ve had to
contend with, but this guy just made the whole stereotype hilarious. He was
always talking about girls and always looking for girls, but it was his
philosophy on the matter that cracked me up. I enjoy the chase, but Niko found
it waste of time. "If you don’t have your dick inside her, you fail!" My
philosophy was different, which made things rather interesting. Needless to
say, Niko and I failed during our time in Antalya. I took the chance to meet with my friend Lori, who I had met earlier in Slovakia and then Austria. It was great to see her, but according to Niko, I had failed.

One thing I really liked about Turkey was the food. Some of
the stuff they eat in the restaurant is excellent, which makes me wonder why on
the street food has such a restrictive variety. I had the choice of kebap or
kebap, or Burger King. I had many kebap while I was in Germany, and after a
while I stopped liking them. In Turkey I didn’t have much of a choice
initially, but I swore off kebap when I got very sick on my way to Çanakkale.
At the Otogar I was hungry so I smashed the only food I could find (a kebap of
course) before getting on a 15 hour bus ride. When the trip is that long, it
would really help if the coach had a toilet on board. The discomfort was making
me cry just a little bit. No more kebap for me.

Since I was in Turkey, it was compulsory for me as an
Australian to do a tour of Gallipoli. That is where the story will continue.
Turkey has been full of crazy, and I look forward to what it has to offer me

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