Swedish Teasers

Trip Start Apr 25, 2012
Trip End Nov 12, 2012

Loading Map
Map your own trip!
Map Options
Show trip route
Hide lines
Where I stayed
Photis' Villa
What I did
Nice beaches

Flag of Cyprus  ,
Friday, August 31, 2012

Cyprus. I had been looking forward to this destination for
quite some time. Cyprus was not in my initial plans, but that I why I don't
book things until the last minute. Back when I was in Cardiff I was hosted by a
Cypriot bloke named Photis, and I got along like a house on fire with him and
his British flatmates, Dave and Pete, as well as their girlfriends Jasmine and
Vaiva (from Lithuania) respectively. Three months down the track Photis was
inviting all his British mates back to Cyprus for a holiday. I have been so
lucky with the people that I have met along the way in this trip, because
Photis invited me to join them and I simply couldn’t say no, especially since I
was in Eastern Europe at the time anyway. When I arrived I also met friends
Roland, George, and Mr Boon.

It was a little different to what I had done previously.
Cyprus isn’t so much a backpacker’s destination as it is a holiday destination,
and it is full of British. I didn’t mind hanging out with the British and being
pretty much the only Aussie on the island. Photis had rented a villa, complete
with swimming pool, and it was defiantly going to be a crazy week. My first
night set the tone when we went to Ayia Napa, which was infested with British,
Swedish, and Russian tourists. The boozy night had an angry MC who took issue
with me being on 'his’ dancing podium, some desperate 18yr old British girls, as
well as a couple of hot Polish and Hungarian club marketing girls convincing us
to go to a horrible place that was full of Hebrews and other girls who were
being guarded by their male friends like they were some sort of ancient

I can handle being shut down, but it’s annoying when you are
trying to talk to a girl and there is a guy interrupting telling me that she
doesn’t speak English, even though she spoke perfect English. I thanked the man
for his offer to translate, but I wanted to continue my conversation with the
girl. He persisted but I was undeterred. His response was ‘she is going to slap
you in the face!’ She didn’t, but the next two words that came out of her mouth
were ‘f*ck off!’ Ouch. At least this one managed to speak for herself instead
of having some big shot dickhead trying to fend me off for her, as it should
be, and I was pleased that I at least stood up to the big shot. This seemed to
be happening to every bloke at the place. Never trust the cute marketing girls.

A few nights down the track and I had been warned that it
isn’t a good idea to be Photis’ wingman. Still, I felt like I owed him one
since I wouldn’t have even been on the island at all if it wasn’t for him. He
had found a couple of Swedish girls and picked the better looking one to have a
crack at, while I was stuck trying to make lame small talk with the other girl.
I’m convinced that they both knew exactly what was going on and were just
playing along with it. The signs clearly showed that this wasn’t going to be a
successful evening, but Photis ignored this and persisted by dragging us along
to what was probably the worst club in the world so he could continue his
futile mission. After none of us got anywhere with any of the girls there, we
left with ringing in our ears which for me didn’t go away for a good couple of

The last night in Cyprus gave yet another example of the
flirtatious, yet ultimately uninterested, attitude of the Swedish girls. Of
course the couples weren’t up for going out (no surprise really) but Photis and
Roland decided that this wouldn’t be their night either. It was up to myself,
George, and Mr Boon to make something of the night. We met three Swedish girls,
one for each of us. They were happy Swede, drunk Swede, and grumpy Swede. After
drunk Swede bumped into me on the dance floor we exchanged names and things
were looking somewhat promising. As per usual I chose the wrong girl. I didn’t
know which Swede I had chosen at the time, but I decided that grumpy Swede was
my favourite.

Happy and grumpy decided they weren’t interested anymore so
we decided to call it a night. Drunk Swede still seemed interested however, so
George and Boon invited them all back to the Villa. I wasn’t thrilled with the
idea, given that I knew these girls were wasting our time. By now the sun had
come up and we decided that an early morning swim in the Mediterranean might be
a good idea. Roland had woken up and was somehow doing a good job of cheering
up grumpy Swede (my efforts had no effect whatsoever).

At the beach there was a number of old people with nothing
better to do after waking up at 6am other than to have a morning swim
themselves. While we were swimming we saw Roland with grumpy coming to join us.
As Swedish people do, she took her top off and jumped in. This did not impress
the elderly locals. They proceeded to yell, throw water and even spit at the
poor grumpy Swede, making her even grumpier than she already was. There were
words exchanged with the rest of us as well, and since I had no idea what was
going on I probably sounded like a bit of a smartass. With all of us being
rather sympathetic grumpy cheered up a bit and we all ended up getting along
quite well.

That was pretty much it for Cyprus. I took my time on
deciding what my next destination would be, before finally settling on
Istanbul. I can’t wait to share the stories that come from the first Muslim
country of my trip. Turkey is next.

Slideshow Report as Spam
  • Your comment has been posted. Click here or reload this page to see it below.

  • You must enter a comment
  • You must enter your name
  • You must enter a valid name (" & < > \ / are not accepted).
  • Please enter your email address to receive notification
  • Please enter a valid email address


luv2travel50 on

hey dave, I'm an aussie cypriot and have been on the island for nearly 12 months ... I was really disappointed to read that your visit didn't extend beyond swedes and sleazy ayia napa night life ... there is so much rich history, culture and amazing hospitality here, its a shame you missed it! enjoy your travels xx

Use this image in your site

Copy and paste this html: