Das alles ist Deutschland

Trip Start Apr 25, 2012
Trip End Nov 12, 2012

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What I did

Flag of Germany  , Bavaria,
Thursday, July 12, 2012

I am in Germany. It suits me very well, and it is just way
to easy to have fun here with the beer being so cheap. I mentioned in my
previous blog that I was in Berlin. Since I have moved on to Hamburg, and the
stories keep getting better.

So my first stop after Berlin was Hamburg. I had a terrible
experience in the hostel in Berlin, so I looked for a couch surfing host. I was
lucky. My first host was Alex, and I stayed with him two nights. I watched the
Germany vs. Italy Euro semi final at his place with a bunch of Germans, and
despite the fun I had it was such and shock and a major disappointment that
Germany actually lost the game! We couldn’t quite believe it. Since I was
expecting Germany to win, I was crushed because I couldn’t enjoy watching the
final here. But I still had fun in Hamburg. Alex couldn’t host me more than two
nights, so afterwards I managed to find Daniel. This guy was simply fantastic,
because he could speak MY language. It was such a relief to hear the Aussie
accent again. Daniel was brought up in the Blue Mountains and he was living and
working in Hamburg, doing very well for himself in the photography business
after studying in the greatest city on earth (I mean Melbourne, not New York!)

Daniel showed me just how amazing the nightlife in Hamburg
actually was. While we both preferred other areas, he had to show me around the
main party area of St. Pauli, including the famous red light district. With
Amsterdam being so expensive I may as well give it a miss now, because I got a
similar experience in Hamburg. Girls aren’t allowed down the main prostitute
street, and those brave enough to go there anyway will likely be beaten or
pelted with water balloons by the aggressive whores. If you are a guy it can
also be a bit intimidating, because all the girls will stick their heads out of
the windows and wave at you, doing whatever it takes to get your attention.
These ladies in the special zone are the more expensive ones and are far more
attractive than what you will find on the streets of St. Pauli.

The ugly prostitutes aren’t hard to identify because they will
usually have a money bag on their waist. Also they are desperate and will
likely chase you down the street. Daniel told me not to talk to them and to
simply keep walking, but as one of them was yelling something at me I turned
and said “I don’t speak German.” This was a mistake because she responded with
“oh but you speak English sweetie!” As she grabbed me by the shoulders I
started yelling “I don’t speak money and I have no English!”

Of course you will find them on every corner. I had another
one approach me soon after with “English or Deutsch?” I’m guessing British
tourists must be their main clients. I wasn’t going to fall into the same trap
again, so I had to think of what other language I could use. I replied with
She gave me a weird look before proceeding in English, but I continued to play
dumb. She then muttered some angry words and walked off. I had successfully
talked my way out of paying for an STD, which is something that the British can
never seem to get away with.

Daniel and I had some big nights and it was sad to leave. My
next stop was Bremen, and I was looking forward to visiting the Becks Bier factory.
There I met a bunch of British blokes, and like the ones I met in Mallorca they
were hilarious. Also hilarious were my hosts Piotr and Antoine. Piotr is Polish
and Antoine is French, and they loved taking the piss out of each other. These
were my kind of people because they clearly didn’t take themselves seriously,
unlike the Moldovan bloke we met who took issue with Antoine making jokes about
communism. After a few very boozy nights in Bremen I moved on to Köln.

Köln (or Cologne) also had some crazy stories. I was having
a great time with friends of my host Johannes, before one bloke got rejected at
the door of a club. Clearly unimpressed he was apparently being a smart ass to
the bouncer as we were walking away. The bouncer lunged at him and I found
myself caught up in a bit of a scuffle. Turns out this bloke was part Jewish,
and therefore the bouncers were accused of racism. My German friends had
fortunately dragged me away from the carnage but the poor Jewish bloke was
being detained in a headlock by the bouncers. When the ‘polizei’ arrived they
let the Jewish guy go but the night was not so much fun afterwards, as half the
group (including the Jewish bloke) decided to go home, and I don’t blame them.
Johannes and his mates may take the matter further, but despite this
unfortunate incident I still enjoyed the city of Köln.

Due to some irritating circumstances this blog entry has
been delayed. I will remain in Germany for at least another week, stopping next
in Freiburg before finishing with a bang in Munich, where I am hoping to meet
my friend Florian who I met in Spain. From there I will go to Prague and slowly
make my way south east, visiting as many countries as I can along the way. Can’t
wait to find out what happens to me next. More big stories are sure to come.
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