Random Passages
Trip Start
Apr 26, 2005
1
2
42
Trip End
Nov 17, 2005
Lusaka,
Zambia
Thursday, May 12, 2005
It was only after I mentioned this to my cousin, Asif, that he pointed out that the bills are printed by the Canadian Bank Note Company, Limited. Go figure. It even says so--in fine print--on the bills. Who says Canada's good name is suffering internationally?
* * *
My name's Dave, and I'm an ophidiophobe. Like almost people, I'm afraid of snakes. Africa is one of the worst places to be if you share my phobia, but it's hardly practical to think about this fact before every step you take away from pavement
Dirty Money
. After all, snakes are just one of the myriad dangers here, among them spiders, red ants, wasps, scorpions (one of which stung my mother back in the day), and assorted mammalian predators.
Common tales here tell of an unwary truck driver engulfed by a python while taking a crap off the side of the highway; roughneck Afrikaner truckers wrestling with crocodiles by the banks of the Zambezi river; a picnicking Swedish couple mauled and devoured by lions in the wilds off the road between Zambia and Zimbabwe.
I've heard each of these stories told numerous times and believe them. That said, I wasn't particularly concerned when Edward, my father's gardener, called me over to look at the tiny brown house snake he'd found in a pile of old leaves and tree bark. Scraping around in this detritus he uncovered the snake, a mere baby some six inches long. Though they can grow to several feet in length these snakes are non-venomous and mostly harmless.
They can still bite, however, and after I'd taken several pictures, Edward killed the little snake, bashing it's head repeatedly with the edge of a rake
Linda Smile
. As much as I fear snakes I would have let the thing go. But this is not my place; though Edward is my father's servant, and as such I can tell him what to do, it's his judgement over mine. Besides, what do I know? Of all the other creature that can do harm to human in Africa, snakes are the most feared. What am I to do, then, but take pictures and tell the simple story of a man killing a snake. Which in fact and in the telling has done little to curb my fears.
* * *
From the Miscellaneous section of the Classifieds in the Post, 'Zambia's Leading Newspaper': "An astrologer herbalist why not try him welcome Dr. N. Magaga from East Africa He is here to pay attention and to heal, treat, and solve whoever has a problem using typical African herbs."
Apparently Dr. Magaga can treat over 74 diseases ("at a reasonable charge"), among them, and I'm not making this up...
- Bad luck
- Bewitched People
- Swollen body
- Elephantitis
- Paralysed people
- Prevent thieves from attacking your home,
shops and cars
- Customer attraction
- Penis that erect powerfully
- Vomiting all the time
- Pressure
- Court cases
- Insanity
- Misfortunes
- Ejaculation killing
* * *
Zambians have a marvellous custom of giving their children imaginative first names. Among the choice handles I've encountered so far:
Bright, Dada, Dervish, Fackson, Flinto, Friday, Happiness, Kastro, Lovewell, Progress, Shadreck, Speedwell, Style, and Patience.
