Scotland - Aye laddie, 'twas nae meant ta be.
Trip Start
Mar 19, 2007
1
15
45
Trip End
Apr 21, 2008
Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Saturday, August 4, 2007
It's a long way to Tipperary. It's even longer from the security desk at Gatwick airport to the domestic terminal. Needless to say we got there in the end, thanks to the lovely staff at BA, walking through doorways that state 'no entry - staff only', going backwards through security and ½ a bottle of champagne. Kel will tell you it's my fault we missed the plane. I would just like to blame my sponsors:
- The fact that the flight was late in the first place (time for the other half of that bottle of champagne).
- The lack of announcements in the bar that supplied both ½'s of the bottle of champagne in convenient glass sized portions, and
- The ½ marathon you must enter to get between security and where the planes actually depart from at Gatwick.
Once there we had a blast (It was meant to be). We even managed to get to 66% of the shows that we'd booked (the other 33% being missed due to late arrival in Edinburgh and late running of the Edinburgh Military Tattoo {EMT}). The whole city was buzzing with the Fringe Festival, and wherever you went you could see big woolly Scotsmen wearing kilts and hear someone belting out the top 40 on a bagpipe (Believe it or not, the bagpipe doesn't sound too bad - when it's being drowned out by massed Scotsmen with big drums). I even got to touch the pointy end of a Claymore.
Needless to say the EMT was great. Everyone (except the Queen's Horse Guards) knew how to march. Only saw one person square gating, but that was OK, because they were a 'civvie' singer. There was also a bunch of girls in really short skirts doing something. They were from, um, Tibet? Taiwan? They were good. At Marching. There's also a castle. With Cannons. They like to let these cannons off every now and then, just to see how many people jump. There were also a bunch of kids doing tricks on dirt bikes. Larrikins. There's also a latin motto on the gate. 'Nemo Me Impune Lacessit' It means don't fluck with an angry Scotsman, because he's probably carrying a claymore under his kilt and he knows how to use it. The correct way to use a claymore, they assure me, involves getting a bunch of big angry Scotsmen (rather common in Scotland) in kilts with claymores (both of which may be readily found in the streets of Edinburgh), running around with blue paint on your face while yelling at the top of your lungs and hitting people who don't have blue paint on their faces with whatever comes to hand - bagpipes, claymores, umbrellas, trees, Scotsmen... Unfortunately for the English, they were often the ones with no blue paint on their faces.
The Fringe festival went off too. Heaps of entertainers in the streets and a really friendly buzz wherever you went. The festival is a sort of art / comedy / music jamboree thingy. Steven K Amos was damn funny. Adam Hills was great. The Camera ran out of batteries for the Thai Tranny float in the parade. Travel tip: Make sure you go to the loo before the show starts. Death by bladder explosion is bliss compared to heckling by a professional comedian. We were staying in the Raddison, right in the middle of all of the action. Mmm, Raddison. Nearly got sunburnt on one day, nearly drowned while being poked to death by umbrellas the next. The Scots wield an umbrella as they would a claymore. See above. They also have the freshest seafood I've seen since leaving oz. Needless to say there's a lot less seafood in Scotland now then there was a week ago, and my beer belly is due in February.
Overall, a nice, relaxing trip. Didn't worry too much about dashing about trying to see everything, kinda just stood there and watched everything pass us by. Even managed a nanna nap once or twice between shows. In 2 weeks "whoa, we're going to Ibitza"... We're also going to La Tomatina. Batesy, just in case you're wondering, they're both in Spain.
(PS: Don't do that Ibitza song the favour of downloading it off the net. It's really really really REALLY crap!)
