The next phase
Trip Start
Jul 13, 2006
1
17
55
Trip End
Jul 06, 2007
Istanbul,
Turkey
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Within 24 hours of being in Turkey Quinn turned to me and asked earnestly "If we didn't have all those shots, would we all be dead by now?"
We explored the various mosques and palaces and went for a cruise on the Bosphorous.
We all went to a Turkish bath that was over 300 years old which was frequented by Florence Nightingale and more recently Cameron Diaz. My 'masseuse' was formerly an 'all-star' wrestler named 'Ahmet the Impaler' clad in nothing but a dish towel. I was the generic - 'no-name infidel'; my role was like the disposable crew member on a Star Trek landing party; the guy you haven't seen before and you yell at him - "Don't be an idiot everyone else is a regular cast member"..
After the Turkish bath
. everyone but him knows he won't be beaming back to the Enterprise. Ahmet pummelled and slapped me into submission as Quinn looked on in horror while waiting for his turn. At one point I actually considered slapping the marble three times to see if he would stop. Excuse me but your elbow is about to sever my spine. I was quite relieved when he stopped and discovered that I could still wiggle my toes. Then he turned me over and I discovered his signature move - 'the chest hair yank'. Ahmet rubbed my chest so hard that he pulled out every other chest hair (despite many valiantly clinging on) and had me screaming -Kelly Clarkson. Finally he was done and I was quite surprised to see that Quinn hadn't sought sanctuary at the nearest mosque. I had two conflicting emotions: I was proud of him for being courageous enough to go through with this; but I had also hoped he might have been a little brighter. He looked at my pink and bruised body and leaned over to whisper "Dad can you ask him not to be so rough with me?" After the massage comes a rough body rub with something resembling coarse grit sandpaper that peeled away my tan (or perhaps it was just dirt). Then it all floated off towards the drain. We had a guide in Istanbul and Ephesus and while it made things more efficient we all found it less satisfying than bumbling around and making our own discoveries.
It's important when traveling to always pack a couple things: your sense of humour and the ability to pay attention to your 'spidy sense' -when something doesn't feel quite right. Had I pad more attention I might have saved alot of money by backing out of that car wash (better a dirty car than a crunched one) and might have inspected the gas cap more closely. On our second night in Istanbul I should have waived off the first cab that stopped to take us home from the bath. He took us the long way home to avoid the traffic (yeah sure... spidy sense tingle #1) and then when we arrived I gave him enough money to pay for the ride, but when I looked down I saw that I had actually given him much less (danger Will Robinson). After he had sped off I realized he had palmed the first bill I gave him a 50 and he showed me a 5. This magic trick is apparently quite common here and made for an expensive cab ride. Now where did I pack that humour?
Scott
What's up with you?
scottlazenby@gmail.com
