Trip Start Sep 15, 2012
15Trip End Sep 25, 2012
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I am so happy to be almost home. I have no idea what time it is in Seattle. I actually wish someone would email me and tell me what time it is. I swear, there are no watches in South America, and mine has been wrong constantly. People just don't care what time it is. And we thought Mexico was bad!
This has been quite a journey. Not a good one, but in a way, an interesting one. I have been through a lot. It feels like I have been away for a month. I use the word journey rather than trip, because I think that is what it was. There were so many pieces to it.
There was the first part, where I met the kids in Seattle. They were so open and amazing. They too had just completed an amazing journey of 9 months. They had left their country, come to the U.S. with no English skills, learned to live with American families (a different one every week for 9 months), learned to eat new food, learned a new language, learned to interact with so many adults in a foreign country, and they did all of this with tremendous valor and strength. I was so enamored with these kids. They were so bright, passionate, loving, welcoming, and happy. They wanted for nothing, complained about nothing. Were just grateful for everything. Just happy--good to each other, and always smiling.
How could they not be tired? How could they not be homesick? Why did they not complain about anything? About the families they had stayed with? About the many thousands of miles in vans that they drove to sing across our country? 24 States, 63 Cities. So much pizza and so many cheap burgers. But they could only say what an amazing opportunity they had been granted. I was just amazed by them. They put me in my place.
Then I moved on to the orphanages in Arequipa, where it happened again. Those girls have nothing, and no one. And life has treated them so badly. But they just smiled and loved me without question. From the minute they saw me--open arms. "Hermana Connie--Sister Connie" They are so happy. I felt so overwhelmed. For days. What can I do for them? I am just not sure. I'm only one person.
After that, I move on to my own "personal journey". That one didn't go so well. I made an attempt to travel alone. I did that about as well as I'm doing at living alone. Not well. If you have read up until now, you know that was a train wreck. But, it was a part of the journey. I'm not sure what I have learned, but I know I learned some things. Some things that I have to deal with. Some things that have been put off. But it's time.
I don't know if I'll travel again anytime soon. I know I need time to gain all of the strength that everyone says I have. I think that everyone needs to realize that I have been strong all of my life, for myself, and for everyone else. I have always been the strength of my family-for everyone I knew. I have been the "go to girl". But I have gone through something extreme, and I am not strong right now. And it's hard to hear everyone tell me that I am. I know that everyone means well, but for once in my life, I need to just not be strong. I need to lean.
So, I know that this journey has taught me quite a few things. And that is one of them. I need to lean for a bit. And I need to deal with and finish up some things. And I need to try and figure out how to be one. That is all a big load.
So, if you are on this list, you are close enough to me for me to ask you to please, just let me lean. Don't ask me to be strong for a while.
So, I guess, even though the "trip" was a failure, the "journey" had value.