The salty plains tour. Needs more salt.

Trip Start Oct 01, 2007
Trip End May 07, 2008

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Flag of Bolivia  ,
Thursday, November 1, 2007

So we caught the Todo Tourismo bus from La Paz to Uyuni. Supposedly a 12 hour journey and we were wrecked from the tour of the Jungle and fluting around all day with laundry etc. The bus was gorgeous but no bus could be good enough for the road we encountered. It was crater after crater for about 6 hours. We still managed about 6 hours sleep each though which was good.

Arrived into Uyuni fresh faced but shaken and got ourselves straight on a tour of the Salt plains. We met our motley crew for this trip. Two dudes from Detroit called Adam and Richard, a girl from Vancouver called Jillian and one of Irelands best in Wayne. Off we went to the train cemetary outside of town. Lots of trains deaded to the world. Nice pieces of junk though. We encountered two baby Ostrich too. Couldnīt resist picking them up for the pics. We hit the salt lake then. Not far to drive. Itīs so white and enormous. Words canīt describe. We took all the usual perspective photos and tried to be as original as possible. Hope yis all enjoy them.

Next up was the cactus island. Lots of coral on it from when it was under this salty lake. It is easy to forget how high up you are with the sun burning down on your head but we were quickly reminded trying to walk to the top of the island for the panoramic views. Kermit had flown in to be with us on this trip and hopefully for the rest of the trip. That is until he getīs shacked up with some cheap hooker in Thaliland or something. Heīs not been the same since the muppets was cut.

We got our first taste of our cooks cuisine after the island walk at about 4. Lou was given the veggie dish as she didnīt want steak. It turned out to be a lump of avocado that looked like it had been squashed by someones foot. Not to mention the beautiful hair in the salad. We were in for it on the cuisine side but thankfully everyone just ate and laughed. Itīs an enormous plus when you are with a gang of nice people. Helps to see the funny side. Later that night we were brought to the salt hotel. Lovely place. Almost everything was made from salt. Even the bed frames. It was so cosy and warm even though it was freezing outside. We stayed outstide for a bit though, you have never seen stars until youīve been to Uyuni! It was like being in a giant snow globe, the stars were amazing, very bright and lots and lots and lots of them! Conor even saw a shooting star!  We all ate the hairy stuff (chefīs haute cuisine!) and then began playing cards. Shithead to be specific. Richard (from Detroit) had been reserved throughout the day until this moment. A few glasses of wine and a few games later and he was trying to screw everyone. It was hilarious. Weīd a great laugh. Everyone went to bed a shithead eventually. It was inevitable.

Next day we went to see volcanoes, flamingos, weird coloured lakes and some seriously odd shaped rocks. The higher we got the harsher the wind became too. Even though the sun was beating down it would cut you it was that cold. Didnīt matter. I think everyone was secretly farting warm ones from the dodgy cuisine. Thereīs a lot of driving to be done on these tours so if youīre not a farter in the jeep youīre a liar. The cooks daughter was with us too and she had her favourite South Amerian Reggaton cd with her too. Oh mother of Jeebus. The same song over and over again with this screaming goat singing in the background. The window was looking good. We all just laughed instead. What else can you do. They were in the front and had control. WE got to the lodge for the night and Lou politely asked the cook for some tea in her best spanish. It roughly translated as, "Tea now bitch". Then began the daggers. And boy did this Bolivian bird have good daggers. That night it was freezing although we reckoned the people from the Gap Adventures tour were probably somewhere eating a 4 course gourmet meal while having their feet rubbed thinking about which angle to hit the heated pool from. Of course this wasnīt true but they did seem to get much more than everybody else in the way of food and comfort. Wimps. We like beds that sink in the middle and salty bed linen. Everyone else was wrapped up tight with hats and scarfs and twelve layers of t-shirts on. But of course "the furnace" Byrne hopped straight into bed in just his boxers. "Ahhhh loverly". "Night night cold ones."

Next day we were woken at 4 in the morn to see the sunrise. This would have happened had we not suffered our 3rd puncture of the trip on the way. Fair play ot the driver though. He was so quick getting it fixed in the freezing cold. Horse of a man at only 4 feet tall. We got to the geysers and all our mouths dropped. They then quickly closed again as the smell of earth farts infested our noses and mouths. This place was amazing. Bubbling and steaming and some violently steaming like a kettle left boiling. In fact even more powerful than the kettle. The rest of the day was great. No point us blabbering on anymore. Itīs better to just enjoy the award winning photos. Hot springs which only Conor, Adam and Richard braved. There was a lot of high fiving after that. Some more gorgeous lagunas and a torturous 7 hour journey home. Absolutely great trip. Canīt think of how painful some people might get it though with a possible bunch of assholes in the same jeep. We were blessed once again to meet a top bunch of people. Itīs just pot luck but it really does make a tour like that to be with cool people while doing and seeing amazing things.

When we got back to Uyuni we got Pizzaīd up, said goodbye to the others and got to the station for our night train to the border. We loved Bolivia for itīs scenery and diversity. Not many places you could go to and see jungle, salt lakes, huge mountains an incredible city in La Paz and enjoy the worst hangover in the world. Only bad thing about the place is the constant arguing with local people for this and that. Bolivia has a long way to go to get out of itīs third world way but it makes it a haven for cheap backpackers and people thrill seeking which is 99% of what we wanted. The other 1% would have been some food that didnīt give you the hershey squirts. Hehe. Put that in your pipe and suck it.....

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twertwa on

Funniest photo's Yet
These are my favourite so far but I do have one question - If Kermit is there where is Miss Piggy!!

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