Kenyan Capers
Trip Start
Sep 04, 2004
1
21
27
Trip End
Jun 30, 2005
Mombasa,
Kenya
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Date: Sunday 13 March 2004
Location: Nairobi (just arrived from Mombasa)
Climate: Hot (30C plus), what else could it be?
Journey Time Elapsed: 7 months
Journey Time Remaining: 3 months
Countries Visited: See other entries
Countries Remaining: Tanzania, Malawi, Mozambique (barely), Zambia, Botswana, Namibia and South Africa.
Health Status: Constant wind, watery bowel movements. Normal
Mental Status: Frequent bouts of paranoia and self-pity
Combie having a flighty moment
. Abnormal but consistent with pre-departure status.Outlook: Morale is high, but needs to be constantly addressed with large rations of western food and alcohol. Good.
Now onto our latest country visited...........
Information technology is not a Kenyan strong point. This was brought home to us by the fool at New World IT, Nairobi who managed to delete 200-300 photos from our holiday snaps disc, when all we asked of him was for our Kenyan snaps to be burned on. The fact that the new photos weren't there only added to the sense of injustice. This incident was followed by a volcanic outburst from Combie which lead to the deployment of New World IT's crack team who after 16 man hours, with an angry Irishman screaming over their shoulders, managed to retrieve a paltry 10 pics. Well, what can you expect from a company whose biggest revenue earners are: 1)downloading music on CDs for street vendors -truly illegal or immoral compilations of 50 cent and Chris De Burgh are inexplicably popular; 2) paid research on top, free-to access, porn sites and 3) crap mobile phone accessories.
Don't even think about getting any closer!
New World's business model isn't the most flawed we've seen on our travels. This goes to the Ethiopian entrepreneur who locates himself at a bad bend (one amongst hundreds) on a deserted stretch of road in mountainous north Ethiopia. As one of the 2-3 cars that pass his way daily approach 'his space',he gestures manically to indicate that either a) yes - the way is clear OR b) No, by some incredible conincidence, a car is approaching in the opposite direction. His theatrics blend seamlessly into an even more impassioned request for payment as you motor past. What an optimist! This narrowly beats the Russian perscription reading glass salesman, who plies his trade on the packed commuter trains around St Peterburg. The sole reason this fails to win is that incredibly we saw a sale occur before our very eyes - commuter beckons our hero over, tries on 2-3 pairs, tests them with the sales man's tattered newspaper prop and chooses one. Money is handed over and everyone is happy! Entrepreneurs of the third world we salute you!
Back to Kenya. Technology isn't the only challenging pursuit in Kenya. Road Safety is also low on their competencies list. We were involved in two car accidents while here. For God's sake - we only took about 10 car journeys in total. The fact that we only take cars to avoid the the muggers and thieves who own Nairobi at night, makes you wonder what you have to do to get a break around here
Help! Help! The next train's due in 2 days
. (To any worried readers, both were very minor).Yes, Kenya is a funny place but for all the negatives, there are substantially more positives. Sausages, pies and beers are always available and are a great cure for all the trials and tribulations this country has to offer. Chief amongst the positives is the tranquil backpackers here in Nairobi, run by the Kenyan legend, Ken. Ken (a Brit) is ex-Army and a former aid-worker who lists his favourite puirsuit as going out on the pull with his 25 year old son, and getting the best of his off-spring. Unsurprinsly his guests provide a ready stock of fresh meat. Yes, we felt at home with Ken! See pic of a swooning Sarah and the legend above!
Ken isn't the only one looking for love in Kenya. The coast is home to hoardes of young male inhabitants who model themmselves (in dress and speech) on Bob Marley. They are there to meet the needs of the many women (mainly middle aged to elderly Germans - why?) who go there for companionship. The fact that 'Bob' has 10 such women on the go at once, means that he's always got the best mobile phone, stereo and rasta gear. Surely this market is an area of possible expansion for New World IT, Nairobi - www.reggaeboysofkenya.com.
In addition, there were some additional seekers of love, but in the interest of Irish homeland security we will avoid going into detail of our encounter with that rare breed, Irish Soldiers, who had a bevy of 'young ones' in tow! We're still not sure whether they were either too cynical or too naive for their own good (the Irish lads that is) but we left them to it when things started turning interesting........
Ken, the lady killer, and potential victim?
.Now lets get back on the (tourist) track here. What did we do in Kenya? Well, we spent more time than is good for anyones health in Nairobi (and enjoyed it). On Hugh Brown's recommendation, we attended Ngong racecourse, where we managed to lose our hard exchanged Kenyan Shillings on horse, donkey, ostrich and goat racing. What a day! Thanks to everyone for their Nairobi restaurant and watering hole recommendations - we tried to do them all justice; but know this, our flag is still flying at Carnivore.
We also spent a wonderful week on Lamu Island (thanks for the recommendation Joanna)and actually managed a few more safaris in Hells Gate and Nakuru National Parks. Finally we took the wonderful train ride to Mombasa wathcing zebras and giraffes run alongside the track. In Mombasa we tried unsuccessfully for 60 mins to blag our way into the Mombasa Members Club, only to hear the next day from Wilson of the Exchange that 'I know someone there who would have....' We'll have to improve the communication lines! Oh yeah finally, it was Combie's birthday on the 11th. We were on Safari - wild animals, too much alcohol...you know the score.
Kenya is also a milestone in another way
Lucky there's no lions in Lake Nakur National Park
. It marks the end of our 'solo travelling'. On Monday 14 March, we board our overland truck which for the next 52 days will take us all the way to Cape Town via a list of exotic countries. We're looking forward to it, especially the prospect of having 20 other westerners to bitch with/about - who is shagging the driver? who do we all hate? or who snores/smells the most? Hopefully we won't be the answer to any of the above quesions. Well at least not the first two anyway!Speak to you all from Tanzania.
Love
Combie and Sarah
Emails from you all would be nice too!
