Ugandan Eulogy
Trip Start
Sep 04, 2004
1
19
27
Trip End
Jun 30, 2005
Kampala,
Uganda
Friday, February 25, 2005
Fortunately, Uganda is a long way from the basket case it was under the late, great 70s General
Fakuana Matada........
. The Indian community has returned, with the inevitable proliferation of good supermarkets and curry house, and the local militia have managed to desist from machine gunning the endangered mountain gorillas in search of ashtrays.The only large unresolved issue is the Lord's Resistance Army. This is a group of mainly child soldiers who are fighting to fulfil their dream of a nation run strictly in accordance witrh the Ten Commandments. It is unlikely that they'll suceed, as they've been struggling to comply with the first one for quite some time now. In a classic African twist, the only assistance they receive is from the Islamic regime in Sudan, who just like stirring things up with the neighbours - Henry Kissenger would thrive in African politics! Despite the relatively peaceful and prosperous environment, Uganda has the usual array of ex-pat aid workers, whose presence ensures the provision of plenty of high quality bars, restaurants and obviously brothels. We spent a lot of time with a Kiwi called Buck who, when not in the public houses, decommissions landmines for a living. He maintains that his period of residency on Stewart Island provided the ideal preparation for this gig!
Our own lifestyle has dramatically changed since ariving here
Now children, this is where we are at the moment
. We acquired a little (Wendy) tent in Kenya which has been a God-send here. It's a two man affair (or so the packaging says) but with two large backpacks and two larger backpackers there's not much room. It starts to get really interesting when the rain arrives and all mental and physical effort is focused on the impossible task of 'don't touch the sides!'.The second major lifestyle change is our diet. After so long travelling we now feel entitled to give up the fool's errand that is the search for interesting and tasty local food. 'Local food' in whatever country is muck, ITS ALL MUCK - that's the reason why its local food and why it's staying local food. Give us internatioanl food any time - we now limit oursleves strictly to (in priority order):
1. Pancakes (daily for breakfast)
2. Sausage, mash and baked beans (5-6 times per week)
3. Burgers, pies and kebabs (3-4 meals per week)
4. Curry (3 meals per week)
5. Italian (2 meals per week)
Goat, liver and unusual crop based staples are now deemed 'alien substances' and are forbidden to us
Now what to do with the lint?
. In isolation these two lifestyle changes make eminent sense, however when you retire to a small, confined and sealed tent after a large, unrefined and leaking curry you are in for hell on earth - no naked flames PLEASE!
The final change is more of a fashion acquisition. At the instigation of Matt Saunders, and using Sarah's creative flair, Combie has become the proud owner of a 'pirate-like' eye-patch. He has taken to walking the streets of Kampala seeking out the plentiful Maribou Stalk, inevitably followed by a mob of elated children who in a complex reaction, which is a mix of laughter, screaming and crying, mock the mad Muzungu (white man). The only problem with the eye patch is consistency - I now need to go to the supermarket every day with the bloody thing on as they gave me an invalid's discount (a pathetic 5%) the first time I was there.
So what touristing have we been doing?
Well, we've been on our first safari and we've ticked lions, hippos, crocs, elephants, giraffes and all sorts of crap antelopes off our 'To DO' list
Our Island retreat - Lake Bunyonyi
. We've also visited the Nile and some of Uganda's famous picturesque lakes, where we've kept canoeing and boating to a minimum in order to maximise time spent sitting on our arses reading, eating and sleeping. Unfortunately, toliets are of the squat variety so this counts more as work, than 'arse sitting' time. Would that it could be different!However, what we're really here for are the primates - especially Chimps and Gorillas. We spent a day with the Chimps - they're bad tempered buggers and were sufficently miffed at our presence to hit Combie with a large nut and were only narrowly unsuccessful in pissing on Sarah from the tree tops.
The mountain gorillas are a different matter. We both found these bigger, dimmer fellas to be much more agreeable company. We travelled two solid days to the Congolese border to see them and it was worth every bumpy, diarrohea-sweat laden moment of the journey. We sat next to the Silverback, spent time with the mothers and playful babies and generally lapped up their farting, belching and nose-picking antics as if we were bored Uni students on a Monday night indoors.
Uganda is a wonderful country and easily the most enjoyable African destination we've been to thus far
Our new home - christened Gerald (O'Farrell)
. Its small and navigable, has good roads, plenty of wildlife, stunning mountain scenery, good curry houses and friendly (English speaking) locals. If you're thinking about an African trip, go here before the crowds find out about it!We're off back to Kenya this week for a couple of weeks on the coast. From there we leave Nairobi on the 14 March for a 52 day truck tour (no doubt filled with mouthy Antiodeans and naive gap-year Brits) to Cape Town via Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia, Botswana and Namibia. We'll be speaking to you all from Kenya, but hey, no need to wait for that....just drop us an email and let us know how you're getting on. We like hearing from you and you were always our favourite person.
Love
Combie and Sarah
P.S. the newspaper clippings here in Uganda are no less revealing than those in Kenya. We'll send out a seperate entry with some of our favourites presently......
