Rains, Pains, and Trains!

Trip Start Sep 20, 2007
Trip End May 16, 2008

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Flag of United States  , Texas
Sunday, February 17, 2008

Today was k'tchup day...as in, time to catch up to stuff.
A major storm was forecasted for the area for today. Major downpours, damaging hail & winds. I made plans to stay in and write my blogs. It never did rain. The major storm hit north of the city before dropping south to the east. It was foggy in the morning. Cloudy all day. It was a pyjama day. I stayed in my pyjamas all day.
I want to thank my friend Monique for her dream interpretation comment. I was taking it literally. I actually thought that I would meet Brad and Angelina and would be invited into their home. Seriously, I don't know what it means. Whether the Dream Interpretation books Monique has, or, if consulting experts can tell me anything about the dream doesn't matter. Life will progress the way it should whether I have that knowledge or not. Sign posts in life are usually somewhat clearer to understand. We all have it inside of us to understand. We only have to learn to listen and to open out eyes.
I started the day with a headache. Not much of one at the beginning of the day but it got progressively worse. That's usually a precursor to the weather changing. I have a built in weather station. I can feel the pressure dropping. I can sense when this is happening before it turns into a full blown migraine headache and can usually stop it by taking my migraine medication. I usually don't take the medication. Why? Because I like to suffer. I will lay in bed for a few hours before deciding that I've had enough of laying around...that it's time to be productive and then I will take the medication. Actually, the time laying in bed is productive. It's during those times that the moments of clarity come to me. Today I was in bed until past noon.
The pain, the suffering, is some kind of release of the insights into life. I believe that we must suffer to enable our sub-conscious thoughts to come into being. I've also noticed that the times that I have the best ideas about writing and life is in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. It also seems that the more tired I am the clearer things become. Why is that so?
The rodeo is in town. San Antonio is having their major February rodeo. The campground is full of cowboys. The horses are at the Rodeo grounds but the horse trailers are mostly parked around the campground. I haven't see any Alberta plates on any vehicles. Maybe the Alberta cowboys don't come this far south in the middle of the winter? I fit right in. I don't have my cowboy hat with me, but I've never seen so many pick-up trucks with brush guards on the front as I have since I've been in Texas. Ok...so my truck fits in.
Trains, trains, and more trains. It doesn't seem to matter where I am, at some point in time I will hear the trains passing and the whistles blowing. I made a comment when I was Galveston that the trains were quite far away, by the shipyards. Well, I still heard them in the middle of the night. It was the same in Corpus Christi. I woke up in the middle of the night and could hear the trains passing and the whistles blowing. It's the same here in San Antonio. The funny thing is that it gets progressively worse. I hardly hear them the first night (if I'm staying more than one night), then, as time goes by the sound gets louder and louder until it seems that they are passing right next to the campground. I know there's a reason for that. Yes, I know this country was built around the railroads and so it makes sense that wherever I go there will be trains nearby. But there's a personal reason why trains affect me.
When I was a teenager I was in a car that was hit by a train. Luckily no one was hurt, but I think the accident has affected my sub-conscious self. The sound of the whistle blowing at the time of impact has been burned into my sub-conscious mind. Does it haunt me? No. It's an awareness thing. I'm aware of the sounds and I can even feel the vibrations created by the trains. They say that you get use to certain sounds and then you stop consciously hearing them. That's why people can live right next to highways and train tracks and hardly notice the sounds. People come to visit and wonder how those people do it. Lately, for me, it's the reverse. Once I notice it, it gets worse.
We lived less than a block away from the train tracks where the car/train accident occurred. The first house I owned in Saint-Boniface was a couple of blocks away from the main railroad line through Winnipeg. That rail line was raised compared to the surrounding landscape in this neighbourhood and so the sound carried further. My second house in Winnipeg was across the street from a rail line. I was use to the sounds and the vibrations of the passing trains. So why is this such an issue now?
I believe it's part of the Journey. Part of the cleansing of the soul in some way. I've noticed, and maybe those of you who have known me a long time will have also noticed that I am reliving my past through this blog. Events that have long past been locked away in my sub-conscious mind are being released. At the beginning of November I wrote an entry titled, "The Road to Enlightenment is Through the Past!". I started off that entry with a quote that I wrote, "To Create a Soul Re-Membered, We Must Experience the Past, the Present and all That Lays Ahead!" Maybe I was onto something there?
An observation of a thought that hit me. The young Christian woman's name is Hannah. Her name is written and spoken the same forward and back. Is there significance in that? If nothing in life is random then it means something. If life is just a bunch of coincidences than it's only a name. Something to think about! Considering that she gave me the answer to The Meaning of Life then I would go with the former, rather than the latter.
The more aware we are, the clearer things become!
So that's the spiritual quest explanation. The reason you'll normally hear is that it's old age. We don't sleep so well so we wake up more often and since we can't fall back asleep we focus on all these little things. Though tell me why, as we age, our hearing is supposed to get worse, mine seems to be improving? Why? Why? Why?
Think It! Feel It! Live It!
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