Public Service Anouncement
Trip Start
Mar 17, 2008
1
6
21
Trip End
Ongoing
Bungendore,
Australia
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
So after Melbourne I arrived back in Canberra to my birthday party... yes you knew that but a point I didn't make was that Nic managed to roll his car that night down one of the tracks. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the copious amounts of alcoholic liquid he induced, but then I have, believe it or not, been known to be wrong. I mention this point now for a little later on.
The unemployed bum stage ended when I eventually somewhat suspiciously took a 1 month contract working with my Aunty in the 'Commonwealth Public Service'. I can hear the rapturous applause, please stop it, stop it... It gets better, it really does. My position was as a researcher for the occupational health and safety branch, and my job was to research ototoxins. What I hear you say, well they're the chemicals which can accentuate or synergise with noise to induce hearing loss. Interesting I hear you say. No you are wrong. Boring as bat shit. I spent an entire month traveling over an hour each way to sit on my ass for 8 hours and blankly stare at highly intellectualized academic articles. On my lunch breaks I noticed that heaps of public servants smoked. At first I thought that it was because they were all so utterly depressed by their desk jobs that they were trying to induce death sooner to avoid continuing their miserable existence. Then I met all the people in my office who (twistedly) loved their jobs. So now I realise that those smoking outside were just plain stupid. All in all it was a learning experience. The lesson I learned. I never want another office job, ever. I can also ramble of a ton of facts about ototoxins, but I'll save that for another blog.
So the four weeks went by at the most blistering and yet most painfully slow pace and the weekend before I left dawned. Of course in true B town style (thats Bungendore Style for those of you who don't know) we had a party to celebrate. The usual suspects rocked up but this time I was weary of my old foe (from my B'Day) Vodka. My plan was to avoid it at all costs. I needn't have tried. The boys started by mocking my inability to scull, then decided if they held my arms, pinched my nose and poured it down my throat it would be far more efficient. Then came the Vodka. It was administered in similar Miller fashion and I soon found... well... nothing because I just don't remember. The photos revealed that I passed out in my cousins room and at one point they moved the party in there just to keep me included... thanks guys... actually it was more so everyone could jump on me, laugh and pick me up to dance with them. I guess that eventually they got tired of my rather unresponsive company and either went home or if their name was Jack and Dave they went and started a bon fire.
Jack being the Genius that he is decided to fill a beer bottle with petrol, tighten the lid and put it into the fire. After some time it didn't want to blow so Jack did the only logical thing and picked up a stick. With his good mate Dave standing by he hit the bottle and they were both engulfed by flame. Shortening the story a little and jumping to the next time I was conscious I drove into Canberra Hospital with my uncle to visit Jack. We had seen Dave that morning at home with his entire arm bandaged and one side of his face looking like it had been done on the BBQ medium rare. Getting to the hospital however jack was more like... well done. His entire face was covered in blisters, peeling skin and some sort of gel stuff they use on burns. Both arms and his right leg were bandaged and he had a self dosing drip of Morphine. He was discharged later that day partly because the plastic surgeon said that there should be no scaring if treated correctly and partly because they had no beds to admit him. Anyway, he's a battler.
On the 21st (tomorrow) I fly to San Diego via Sydney, Nadi (Fiji) and LA. It'll be sad to leave my cousins and friends that I've made but I am really looking forward to it. So next update sometime soon!
Comments
S-M-R-T
I mean S-M-A-R-T.
That is what your relatives would be saying after their run in with the fire. If only their level headed, wilderness first aid trained cousin was there to stop them or at least help... oh wait, he was passed out after overdosing on vodka. Nice one Mark.
Don't you know that if you want to be an international uber-awesome traveller you have to build up your tolerance to these things - so I guess you should really thank your cousins for helping you out!