Lazing the Day Away

Trip Start Dec 31, 2004
Trip End Apr 22, 2005

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Friday, January 7, 2005

Today started like most do here in Bangkok only today I decided when I finished reading the Bangkok Post to crack open the other English language newspaper, The Nation. When I was done with that it was time for a few bits from Newsweek and The Economist and then it was time for lunch. The heat and humidity were staggering in the sun today but in the shaded common areas at my guesthouse in the deep rattan chairs there was a subtle breeze so I relaxed and read the day away with several Thai iced coffees and bottles of water.

I did manage to get out of my neighborhood today but only long enough to feel it justified a shower and a change of clothes when I returned. Without that punctuation mark at the end of the day I'd have felt feckless and sloth like.

I went to the Myanmar Embassy today to apply for my visa but they had other plans that did not include me. There were no signs announcing it in English at least but the man through the metal bars told me that the embassy was closed early and to return on Tuesday. When I asked how long it took to process a visa I was told "maybe one maybe three days, hahaha." Now that was a knee-slapper now wasn't it? A fruitless venture but at least I now know where the embassy is now.

Tonight while I was trying to enjoy my dinner some British bloke decided I was easy prey and struck up a conversation with me. You'd think that when you stop looking at a person when they're speaking to you that they'd pipe down and get the hint. This character was your typical pudgy, middle-aged white man who has tanked himself out on too much hooch, hookers and hapless moneymaking schemes and now at my expense wanted to talk to white people all of a sudden. What's worse is that you seriously can't even fake niceties with these western abominations. He buys pirated CDs and DVDs and "some are even of the naughty kind" he told me and then resells them back home in the UK. Never mind that I said I found that "morally repugnant" without even looking up from my plate -- he continued. I will unfortunately meet many of these cartoons along my journey and I will get less and less tolerant I assure you. He told me that he sells Pokimon cards on eBay and I was shocked that there was still a market for that and mocked him accordingly. I think over the course of his 15 minute monologue, which was only lightly peppered with my condescending commentary, which became a bit of a sport I might add. It's almost fun to see just how many awful things you can saw to someone before they finally get insulted but these beasts are thick-skinned and must be bludgeoned. At one point I moaned and uttered, "Ah for Jesus sakes" but he took that as encouragement. He finally set me up for the final smack-down though when out of the blue he said "You're from New York -- I bet you really hate Muslims." After whittling him down like a cheap 20 Baht soap carving he picked up his glass of Singha, apologized and moved along. "Git" I told him.

Tonight at the Internet cafe the lady who owns the place ate an entire cake. I watched her! She's delightful and has a poodle named Cookie and she pronounces it "Kooookeeee." Well, Cookie just had puppies last month and I've been privy to every detail of the birth (four of them and she cut the cords herself) as well as the inception (from the fluffy dirty grey poodle from the tailor shop across the way). She's delightful and although I normally detest poodles as a rule I do love Kooookeeee because she wears cute little pants when she sits on the desk. Oh and here's the kicker: Cookie didn't eat a thing today because if she's not hand-fed she gets mad. Well, I can understand that but I'll tell you one damn thing she wasn't geting any cake.

I'm heading back for a little nightcap or as the waitress said tonight when she saw me sit down, "Same same?" Yep, "same same but different -- today a little slower" I told her. I can't crap my pants over royal palaces every day.

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