Maribeth's White Trash Spectacular Day

Trip Start Jul 03, 2009
Trip End Aug 16, 2009

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Where I stayed
The Hampton Inn

Flag of United States  , California
Monday, July 20, 2009

We awoke in Oregon a little later and had some errands to run before heading out of town to California, and by errands, I mean one more stop at Voo Doo Doughnuts. Besides a delicious apple fritter, we decided to try the Bacon Bar Doughnut which is a long doughnut with maple frosting topped with bacon. It was absolutely delicious.

Our first stop of the day was one that Joe was dreading. I am a huge fan of the TLC reality show, "Little People, Big World." Even though Joe also secretly loves the Roloff family (a family of 3 little people and 2 average-sized children) he was not thrilled by the prospect of stalking them gently which is what I had planned for our morning. We drove about thirty miles outside of Portland and after some twists and turns, there we were in front of the Roloff Farm sign that we had seen so many times on television. We soon realized that our stalking would be limited since many farmers reside on the Roloff's street which is also a dead end. With our Texas license plate it would quickly be apparent that we didn’t belong there. Fans of the show will remember that the Roloff’s used to sell peaches in the summers, but now that their show is wildly popular, they are only open for pumpkin season. I kept looking for slightly angry Amy in her mini-van or one of the kids, or even the dog Rocky, but I settled for a photo op by the Roloff Farm sign.

Joe and I didn’t quite know where our end point was going to be but knew it was a long day of driving ahead. After some brief stops at the Spruce Goose Museum (World's largest wooden airplane) which wasn't worth paying for, and the amazing sand dune beaches we were on our way again.
 The drive along HWY 101 was breathtaking. It seemed as though we were in a different weather pattern each minute as a thick pea soup fog rolled in and out revealing huge rays of sunshine and wild flowers in all colors of the rainbow near the Pacific Ocean. The small towns along the Oregon coastline were charming and quaint. We stopped to have lunch at a marvelous restaurant called Saffron Salmon and got our fill of fresh seafood. The last time I had Dungeness crab it was out of a can and it cost $40.00 so having it all over some fresh linguine with tomatoes for $14.00 felt like a steal. We enjoyed the company of a gull who stared at us throughout the entirety of our meal and he had a long time to glare at us since Oregon restaurant service is painfully slow. I know, I know I am supposed to relax, enjoy the ocean breeze and our always witty conversation, but COME ON PEOPLE!!

We drove and drove. I think the pace of our vacation is finally catching up with Joe and I. We ran out of interesting pod casts early, and listened to both Mike Birbiglia comedy albums within the first few hours. Even though the scenery was beautiful, we were both more than ready to stop (after a short agriculture checkpoint…) when we finally reached the shifty looking town of Crescent City, California. We have been so good about not eating a lot of fast food on the trip. Most stops have been local with some healthy options. However, we soon realized that we were stuck. We went to the local place that the hotel recommended and it was literally a wood paneled basement with a salad bar with a sad pickle and two types of salad dressing. It was the place old people go to have their last meals. Take your hair off your ironing boards and park your trailers, it’s time for Pizza Hut. Joe and I both agree that I have odd taste in food. I like truffle oil and Fromage D’Affoinois as much as I like Little Caesar’s Crazy Bread. Tonight was further proof of this fact. I thought that I might experience what often happens to me where I remember something being fantastic from childhood and then when eating it in adulthood am sorely disappointed. Not so with my Pepperoni Lovers pizza...although we were both disappointed that Pizza Hut chose to blast an Animal Planet documentary about humans getting eaten by various types of nature. Just as our breadsticks came our eyes were feasting on an alligator with a hand sticking out of its mouth…I soldiered through, Joe became even more disgusted.

The grand finale? Loyal TLC fans will know about a show called “The Smallest People In The World” which is about kids who never develop fully. They have odd mixed faces somewhere between adulthood and childhood with kid bodies. Don’t ask me why I am fascinated by these types of shows, I have no answer. We are sitting at Pizza Hut and THERE IS ONE OF THE SMALL PEOPLE!!

It was a big day for me, I think Joe is definitely ready to move on to a classier location tomorrow, like Napa!
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