Stories from Phnom Penh

  Pnom Penh, Cambodia
Friday, June 29, 2007

Finished, at last.

These are not your usual travelogue entries, but they do reflect part of what we've been doing. I wrote these for Chhavelith - who can use them, change them, or not use them. Up to you, brother. Will someone (Elexa or Victoria) please send this link to Chhavelith - thanks. The second story seems dark, but within the darkness is dazzling beauty and light ...

"As you know, I did not think I would be alive. I was so sick"
(Chanthy's story)
 
In her 40 years of life Chanthy has been in a forced labor camp, worked as a farmer, been a wife and mother, been a beggar, and now supports herself with a small business. She also has HIV infection and has survived multidrug-resistant tuberculosis (MDR-TB).
 
Chanthy was 8 years old and living in Svay Reang Province when the Khmer Rouge came to power in 1975. She endured forced labor, starvation, and the murder of her parents before the Khmer Rouge regime was overthrown. She married young and had three children before she and her husband, a farmer, separated. By age 19, she was in Phnom Penh with three children, looking for work in construction. She and her children lived outside a temple wall, with other homeless people. There was little work for women and she ended up as a beggar, making 5,000 riel on a good day and 2,000 riel on a bad day (4,000 riel = $1 US). She met a man, also a beggar, and they set up a household against the temple wall. This man she calls her second husband beat her regularly and gambled away what little money they made, but also gave her a sort of stability - and he gave her the virus. "I learned I am infected since 1998 when my husband became sick."

11 Slum lane

 
Her husband died in 2000. She took care of him as diarrhea and AIDS wasting syndrome took his strength and then his life. It was at this time that the HOPE home-based care team became involved with Chanthy. "I felt sad when he died because I didn't see his face anymore ... I told his family he was dead, but nobody came to join with the funeral."
 
After her husband died, Chanthy continued begging, and she began gambling. But something was different. The HOPE home-based team was involved and they encouraged her to enlist in their program for widows and children. Working in a partnership with the Friends Program, they supported her, counseled her, and found a place for her to live in a slum. The counseling led her eventually to the idea of purchasing a scale (for $8) and she went from place to place weighing people for a small fee. On a good day she made 10,000 riel and on a bad day, 5,000 riel. Her situation was also improved because she was able to follow strict program guidelines, including no drinking and no gambling. Unfortunately, her HIV and tuberculosis were not well-controlled and she had difficulty working - "I was sick and coughing too much."
 
Counseling and treatment continued, and as her condition improved, she saw greater possibilities for herself. In 2004 she asked for and received assistance in buying a foot-powered sewing machine. With the sewing machine she was able to make bags for Friends to sell in their shop. She has been sewing for three years now and every month she is able to put some money in the bank. Chanthy has gone from begging to the bank.

21 In a slum

 
Chanthy is far from wealthy or even comfortable. But her two daughters are in school - well past the age when she left school - and her son is employed. The HIV and tuberculosis are controlled and she feels good almost everyday. She ticked off what she has today: a place to live, money in the bank, a job, and clothes. "I have more power than before ... thank you so much."

Nhey's Story

This story is based on two visits to Nhey's home. Her story is dark in some respects, but also shows a reality and beauty seldom seen. When I left this woman's home I told her that Í had been thinking about her since I first met her three weeks ago. I said, I know you're like the rest of us - in some ways good, in some ways bad - and most of all, I know you have a beautiful spirit and I have been and will continue praying for you ...
_____________________

When we pulled out of the hospital on Bunthy'sthe way to make a home visit, there was a man, naked, emaciated, sitting in the dirt outside the gate. As we stopped, another man came out of the hospital grounds and put a patient gown around the man in the dirt and began gathering his few rags and papers. As we drove away, Bunthy said, "I remember 10 years ago when it was like this a lot" (dying people outside the gate).
 

29 Man outside hospital gate

Nhey is 42 years old. She lives with two girls in a small house built atop an apartment building in Phnom Penh. The girls, age 10 and 11 are the daughters of a woman who took care of Nhey during the Khmer Rouge regime. After the Khmer Rouge, the women went their separate ways. Around 2002 Nhey's friend became sick with HIV and came to Phnom Penh with her daughters to live with Nhey. The woman's husband, who gave her the virus, disappeared and she does not know what happened to him.
 
At that time, effective antiretroviral therapy was not widely available, and the woman took about a year to die. She stayed in the small room where we were talking and during much of that year she had severe diarrhea. Nhey smiles, "I was sewing and could work at home - so I can stop and help her." Nhey keeps talking and Bunthy translates, "She feels like difficult, but she has compassion because she don't know what will happen to her in the future."
 
Eventually the woman became too sick to stand and Nhey carried her to what was then the only hospice in Phnom Penh. "At that time I was strong." The children were not allowed to stay with their mother and so stayed with Nhey.
 
In 2003 one of the woman's daughters was diagnosed with HIV and in 2004, Nhey was also diagnosed. The other daughter is negative. With help from the HOPE home care team and another organization Nhey continued caring for the girls. In 2006 Nhey's second husband died (her first husband was killed by a landmine). During the funeral, her daughter drowned. It was more than she could bear and Nhey feels that she has been mentally ill since then. She is sad and forgetful, and sometimes panics and runs confused through the streets. She cries as she talks about the two girls and what will happen to them when she dies. "Before I was strong. Now I'm weak." The weakness is only in her body ...
 

39 Nhey and girls

The man who was dying outside the gate was gone when we returned.