The Sport of Kings
Trip Start
Sep 20, 2007
1
67
85
Trip End
Sep 20, 2008
Vang Vieng,
Lao Peoples Dem Rep
Saturday, August 2, 2008
On a serious note, we had heard stories that a couple of people had drowned tubing (including one Irish lad) in the previous couple of weeks due to exceptionally high water levels during a particularly heavy monsoon storm. Of course this would never stop the Laos government from increasing safety measures for this lucrative money spinner so we would need to be on our best behavior, or try to at least.
The bus from Luang Prabang was around 6 hours in total but involved some seriously dodgy corners and a maniac driver who wouldn't shut up whistling, the durty whoore. A bit of In the Name of the Father on the DVD players got us through ( I wrote your name on the sand and I pissed on it so I did, I pisssssssssed on it!!!)
We checked into the Dokk Haun guesthouse that had been recommended by Peter and David or Rock and Ganly and it was basic but ok, no air con but a TV. That night Conor and Doni took it ham and cheesy and Clive and the Athlone Boys went for a feed in some restaurant that plays the sitcom Friends on repeat all day every day... thank fook the food was good thats all I'll say. That night was spent in the Bucket Bar (the name speaks for itself) where many a bucket was toasted. It was a good mix of nationalities there too including Canadian, Israeli and Bogger. The Athlone boys had been tubing already that day and were still fairly half cut to say the least, good effort even staying awake!
Next day we lined the stomachs with a whopper fry and headed off to meet our maker. It was an absolutely cracking morning but almost bordering on too hot. The fact that we'd put too much sun cream on ensured that we all looked like the absolute grease balls that we are, especially Craig. Tubes on the roof the six of us tuk tuked down to the Nam Xong to get amongst it. The first bar is literally 50m from the launching area but was already wedged to capacity by 11am and full of drunken monkeys hurtling themselves from heights. We had arrived! The first bar had the best swing i.e. had the best fall, so Clive, Ganly and Craig got a little bit of dutch courage and attacked it. Not the most stylish efforts but an effort nonetheless. Satisfied we hit the tubes and onto the next bar.
On inspection it was clear to see that the high water levels of the last few weeks had literally washed bars away but the little industrious locals were already getting ready to mile the cash cow and were building a new string of bars, fair play Ian. The third bar turned out to be the best with great zip lines and swings, football pitch and volley ball court and enough booze to satisfy a small army. A few of us decided to show off our football skills under the influence, bad idea!! The game ended 1-0 after around half and hour and we all looked like we had run a marathon. The Sport of Kings is enough exercise in itself. A spectacular double zip line back flip by Doni and Rock was recorded on video (soon to be posted). Lets just say that these boys belonged in Beijing on the gymnastic floor, gold medals all around. Although, the Don had the wind knocked out of him and looked something like a dead fish flapping on the pier when he finally made dry ground it was unquestionably a sterling effort by the lads.
By the time we got toward the last few bars we were well on our way and even when the heavens opened and the monsoon rains came, our spirits were not to be dampened. A few token swings off the last bar, including a pearler by Conor Boss and double half twist pike by Clive and Rock on the same swing marked the ending of the days activities. Clivo swears that he didnt let go a half second later on purpose thereby making sure he landed on poor Rock and not vica versa, the jury's still out on that one.
After the last bar there is around a half an hour cruise to the pick up point. For this part we managed to link tunes with around twenty other people of all nationalities and ages. Hmmm how do we pass half an hour without small talk and awkward jokes... SING IRISH REBEL SONGS ye fuckin boya ye. By the end we had English singing Fields of Athenry and an honorable mention goes out to the Irish lad with some set of pipes on him, I reckon Vietnam might have been able to hear his patriotic fervor!
That evening we had a few hours to get showered and sort our shit our before heading out to the Bucket Bar again. The thing about the Sport of Kings is that its primarily a day time activity so the few lost souls who do make an effort to make it a nocturnal adventure too invariably are one step away from being completely K.O.'d. Most of us lasted the twelve rounds but hit the scratcher with the refreshing knowledge that a full day of the Sport of Kings lay ahead of us tomorrow too.
Ganly and Rock decided to give the next day a miss as their bodies were rejecting them so the four amigos sucked it up and hit the river for another day of carnage. The only way to get over a hangover like this is to hit it harder than the day before so thats exactly what we did. Replacing beer with spirits ensured that by the second bar we were all felling pretty good about ourselves.Much of the same shenanigans was had all the way down until Craig, Clive and Con were separated from Donny Lad and his Indian friends. We found the fiend bag six hours later in the Bucket Bar a little worse for wear. Some might say he was fully Cut if you know what I mean wha wha! Even so, we were all shattered by this stage so we all bailed except Ganly who was working on his foreign relations once again.
In a nutshell the tubing malarkey lived up to its reputation. We all had a ball and a few scars for our sins but we left content in the knowledge that we had truly conquered the Sport of Kings.
