Reaching New Heights in Chatel

Trip Start Jul 11, 2005
Trip End Dec 20, 2005

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

Yesterday was awesome. Devin, Maureen, this kid Mike and I all took a road trip to Chatel, France (1.5 hours each way) to experience this thing called fantasticable (stupid French DJ Super Cool). The premise: two cables strung 2523 meters or 1.57 miles high between three mountain peeks at the Portes du Soleil ski resort on the border of France and Switzerland. You get harnessed into this contraption and sent soaring at a speed of 100 kilometer/hour or 62.12 mile/hour in this triangle formation. Anyway. we arrived in Chatel around 4:00 after getting lost and re-routed on winding mountain roads. We almost missed our chances so we had to hustle to get up the chairlift to where the ride started (we were the only ones there, but the chairlift was slow). We also lost Maureen and Mike who are scared of heights and decided to spectate instead.

Devin and I had a blast with this cheap thrill (you have to check out the photos...sooo funny). There was, however, one part that was exceptionally scary. First of all, the directions were all given to us in French and they failed to mention what happened at the end of each leg (or we didnt understand...either way). So I went first and was cracking up laughing like a lunatic...flying head first at 60 mph towards the finishing point of the first leg. As I got closer I saw a man waiting for me at this platform on the other side, which was comforting...until I failed to slow down and proceeded to whiz past the man, past the platform and straight ahead into a wall with a big X on it in red spray paint!!! I couldn't even think straight at this point... I truly believed that I was going to have a head-on collision with the wall. Anyway, when I was about 5 feet from flying into the wall a bungee cord of some sort (like fighter jets have) whipped me backwards with a loud CRACK and I came to an abrupt stop.

After this near death experience I was happy to be alive...particularly because I was able to watch Devin, who had no idea about the stop either, finish behind me. The look on his face when he went whizzing past the man and the platform was priceless. I thought he was going to poop in his pants (shh... look at the photos...he definitely has the "what the hell am I doing" look). Anyway, it was a lot of fun and something I'm glad I did. The scenery was fantastic and we finished off the day with pizza and beer in Evian.

And now for the best pick-up line I've ever heard. Mike (Devin's new friend who is over here on the GI Bill, originally from Cali) is the stupidest kid I've ever meet in my life. He is a bumbling fool in every sense and has the poorest communication skills possible. If you talked to this kid for one minute you would think that he spent the greater part of his life high on magic mushrooms or LSD or something. He has a constant (I mean constant) shit-eating, door-to-door salesman grin on his face and these beady darty little eyes. He joins conversations with strange subject matters and brings up topics that have no relevance to what's already being discussed. He's also really into this holistic healing stuff (not that there is anything wrong with that), but he is constantly shoving stale tasting tofu chips and strange brews to "cleanse your soul" in your face. His apartment is like a mad-scientist's botanical wonderland. A small studio that is literally overflowing with you cant walk on the ground because there are plants everywhere...overflowing out the window too. Anyway, he's a strange bird, take my word for it.

Back to the pick up line. He met some poor unsuspecting Swedish girl in one of his classes and was talking to me about how he plans to get a date with her. After spending an hour online researching Sweden for topics of conversation, this is what Fabio came up with ..."So I happened to stumble across an article on Sweden yesterday. It said that your king is dyslexic and is involved with a campaign to stop the clubbing of baby seals".

I almost spit my beer across the room when I heard this one. Good investigative work Mike! This comment is the ultimate in heart-winning sentiments... the obsure article that you happened to read on my noble country (stalker), the mention of my learning disabled king (are you calling my king stupid?!) and of course, the power-comment... saving fuzzy baby seals. This flattery and pizzaze is only rarely in the case of the rabied king who cuddles AIDS babies in his spare time... or the impotent king who cares for orphaned bush babies.

Anyway, I'll let you know how the date proposal goes in an upcoming journal!
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