China, Finally
Trip Start
Apr 27, 2006
1
83
110
Trip End
Apr 01, 2008
Kunming,
China
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
It was then - you guessed it - another 12-hour busride. Had I known I couldn't get to Yuanyang, I would have skipped Sapa and flown from Hanoi to Kunming. The bus itself was alright, but the road for most of the way was the worst one yet - dirt in parts and pockmarked in whole. That particular border crossing is not terribly busy, but they are building a new expressway. Unfortunately, it wasn't finished and it taunted us the whole way, temptingly towering over us with nice fresh concrete and six whole lanes of smooth unachievable pleasure. To make it even better, the driver only stopped at the most spartan of rest stops, presumably because he got a kickback or they were owned by his cousin
Across the Bridge Noodles
. And, a mere 3 hours into China we had a winner of the shittiest (literally) roadside bathroom of my entire trip (see pic).Once we got to Kunming, four of us from the bus went to four hotels before we found one that had rooms. I still don't know why because it didn't seem like there were many Western tourists in the city at all. Kunming is the capital of Yunnan province and has a population of around 1 million. Yunnan borders Vietnam, Laos and Burma and has most of China's minorities (non-Han Chinese), in particular the Bai, Tibetans, and the Naxi, and much of the food was similar to the rest of S.E. Asia.
I didn't get settled until after 11:00 p.m. on March 14, but I found a pretty sleepy Tibetan pub (Tibet borders Yunnan in the north) down the street, where the proprietor told me it was last call at midnight, but I was free to order as many beers as I wanted and stay, as many did, which was cool. The next day I wandered the downtown area, which was somewhat disappointing because it mostly looked like a big modern city with Chinese touches. The few remants of old Kunming were boarded up and being made ready for demolition and reconstruction. I understand why - they were decrepit and earthquake risks - but it was still a pretty impersonal downtown.
That night, though, was an utter lark. Right next to the hotel was what looked like a really nice place, if maybe a bit cheezy because all the door staff were in costume. It turned out to be a high-end place with a variety show (dancing, fire breathing, singing, etc.) aimed at middle-aged couples, including getting guys on stage to chug beer
Cell Phones of the World Unite!
. I was the only paleface. The drink list was not in English (see pic). I tried the most expensive Chinese wine they at about $14 a bottle. Interesting - the Chinese actually try to achieve oxidation in their wines. That led to playing pool at the Camel bar, and then was led to a couple of Chinese discos in the Fundu district. I don't know how much fun it was, but it was amusing in that "Lost in Translation" sense.Sunday I went to the park, the university, and the zoo just wandering around checking out the crowds and the architecture. The Chinese like to sing publicly in the park. Park karaoke, if you will. I had the local specialty - Across The Bridge Noodles - which have a long story about a girl bringing her man noodles across the bridge and they stayed hot because of a layer of oil and fat. I don't know about that and I don't know what I ate - I chose the $7.50 option (there was also $2.50, $5.00, $10.00 and $12.50) because dirt-cheap means meatless and expensive means shit like sea cucumber. The noodles come with a bunch of sides, some of which go into the noodles to cook, some remain outside to be noshed on, as pantomimed to me by the waitress.
At the same time, a guy shined my shoes. During the course of the day I also had kimchee, mystery liquor from a jug with fruit in it, and dates. Why? Because that is what came when I pointed at symbols on menus. I ended up back at the Camel for more pool, which is the national pastime of every nation I have been to here so far. On the side of the road in Cambodia under a thatched roof on dirt with livestock scratching in the dirt there would be a pool table. But at least it is universal - there are a lot viewer English speaking tourists here, but I can play pool with a deaf mute. Next up is:
Dali, China
