The Ten Commandments of Egyptian Travel

  Nuweiba, Red Sea and Sinai, Egypt
Thursday, April 24, 2008

· Nuweiba, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt
· GMT +2hrs

Done

02 Camel

01 St Katherine's

If we thought, which we did, that leaving Dahab was difficult then it's nothing compared to the difficulties we're experiencing trying to leave Egypt itself. To leave Dahab, which we finally did this morning after spending 6 nights there, all we had to do was pay a visit to Mt. Sinai and drag ourselves out of the lazy comfort-zone one can find themselves falling into when they encounter Dahab, its cafes & bars. Done & done.

Then all we had to do was hop in a minibus taxi and head one hour north to a place called Nuweiba from where the ferry to Aqaba in Jordan departs from. Done.

03 Mt. Sinai

All we had to do then, we assumed, was to buy tickets for the aforementioned ferry, pay our departure tax, get stamped out of the country and wave goodbye to Egypt from the deck of the ferry. Well, things didn't quite work out as assumed (definitely not done). We knew, or thought we knew, the departure times and fare for the ferry. But we also knew this was Egypt and if spending 15 days in the country up to now had taught us anything it was that things are never as straightforward as they would be in any 'normal' country, or the majority of countries not called Egypt.

"No tickets... no, no" is what we heard from the 'obviously-having-a-bad-day' employee manning the ticket office counter shortly after sauntering into the shambolic open-air ticket office compound.

05 There's the door

04 The Bell

We both took turns trying to extrapolate more information from him but the only reply we seemed to get to our "why can't we buy tickets? when does the ferry run?" or "why don't you want to talk to us?" questions was "No tickets", "I don't know" or "come back 8pm," all accompanied with a dismissive shake of the hand and/or head.

"So we can buy tickets at 8pm?" Pat, he with the patience of a Saint, inquired as I was steaming in the far corner of the compound cursing all things Egyptian.

"Maybe," was the reply he got.

06 Summit

At this stage our patience (yes, even Pat's but mine especially) was at an all-time low. We left Dahab earlier today deciding that we'd just about had enough of Egypt and that Egypt had probably just about had enough of us too. The fact that it looked like we'd now have to spend at least one more night in the country with the possibility of only "maybe" getting tickets for tomorrows ferry, assuming there is a ferry tomorrow, didn't particularly sit well with either of us. But nonetheless, with limited (read no) options it was a fate we resigned ourselves to as we stood there in the ticket office compound.

Soft Beach Camp

07 Through Oakley Five's

A taxi took us to nearby Soft Beach Camp, a Dahab style Bedouin camp that actually fronted a beach, one with sand. Real sand. The camp offered the usual 'activities,' activities that occupied our time for most of the afternoon; lounging around (done), reading (done), eating (done), drinking (done) & water gazing (done). The same taxi driver then took us back to the ferry ticket office at 8pm where we heard the same lines from the same 'now-obviously-having-a-bad-evening' ticket office employee that we had attempted to speak to some 9 hours earlier.

"F***k it Lad! We're not getting anything out of this guy. Let's just go back to Soft Beach Camp and have a few more beers. We'll try again in the morning."

Done.

Day 253 & 254 Observations (April 22nd & 23rd 2008)

· Bookworm

09 Egypt

08 Sunset bust

In the past 7 days Pat has gotten through 6 books, a number that would be higher if it wasn't for the bars of Dahab. Me? Well I spent the time writing up 8 Travelpod entries, entries I doubt I'll get to upload for weeks.

· 'Normal' countries
We had one of those conversations earlier this evening as we relaxed with a few beers here at Soft Beach Camp, one of those silly conversations in which we have no problems at all making wide and sweeping generalisations that effect large numbers of people. It was born out of today's trying events, the incessant scamming, un-paralleled gouging and general difficulties that all independent travellers, we assume, experience in Egypt (there's a generalisation within a generalisation) and it had us producing a list of what we deem to be 'normal' countries. The list we came up with was small enough, it didn't, surprise surprise,

10 Red Sea Divers

include Egypt and with the possible exception, at a push, of the United Arab Emirates, it didn't include any of the other countries we've passed through since Pat became part of 'The Honeymoon' in Beijing back on February 14th. For the record, where myself and Pat us the word 'normal' those in the know (economists, the International Monetary Fund, & the CIA... yep, the CIA) use the word 'developed' and list, so says this Wikipedia page, the following countries as such - Canada, the United States, Japan, South Korea, Israel, Malta, Singapore, Slovenia, Taiwan, Australia, New Zealand, & most countries in North & Western Europe. Fyi, for all Dubai's money, bling, 7-star hotels and flashy look-at-us skyscrapers, it's not enough to push the U.A.E. onto the list of so-called 'developed' countries. Why? Well, because its economy depends overwhelmingly on oil production of course.

· 10 Commandments of Egyptian Travel
So there I was sitting atop of Mt. Sinai yesterday afternoon waiting for the sunset, lost in my thoughts and gazing blankly out over the desolate Sinai Peninsula, when all of a sudden the small bush beside me began to spontaneously combust. It was obviously a sign. Then a deep, booming voice began speaking to me. Only to me. The voice informed me that I was the chosen one, the one chosen to convey to the populous 'The Ten Commandments of Egyptian Travel'. So as God's chosen medium on the subject, and without any further adieu, may I present...

The Ten Commandments of Egyptian Travel
Commandment I
Thou shall not take the countries name in vain when you are overcharged, short-changed or when you are galled by having to seemingly pay twice to see certain attractions
Commandment II
Thou shall remember that posted opening times on buildings and travel schedules are arbitrary at best and that buildings will open and all schedules will be followed 'sha' Allah' (God willing)
Commandment III
Thou shall be in possession of ones passport at all times when moving around to appease the many unofficial looking 'officials' who will covet a look at it
Commandment IV
Thou shall remember to visit Drinkies at least once a day to pay homage to their glorious wall of Stella beer bottles
Commandment V
Thou shall not be tempted to kill in response to the utterance of the words "it is good for you," "where are you from?" "full," "complete" or "closed" no matter how many times you hear them
Commandment VI
Thou shall always check ones change after making a purchase
Commandment VII
Thou shall honor thy local buffering you from the oncoming traffic as you cross Egypt's roads
Commandment VIII
Thou shall make an effort to learn Arabic number symbols
Commandment IX
Thou shall give baksheesh only when the service warrants baksheesh and not because it's simply expected
Commandment X
Thou shall not bear any grudges or cause any harm to the touts who will endlessly harass you