End of part I

  Cairo, Egypt
Thursday, April 10, 2008

· Cairo, Egypt
· GMT +2hrs

"Cairo, one of the half-dozen supercapitals - capitals that are bigger than themselves or their countries ... the focus of a whole culture, an ideology or a historical moment".
- Jan Morris, Destinations

End of part I
We've spent 2 days dealing with Cairo's madness. This invariably involves taking your life into your own hands when crossing the street, responding to hundreds of "welcome!" greetings (we, being the nice boys we are, believe it is ignorant not to) and being constantly on guard against being ripped off. It's tiring, but rewarding and makes visiting Cairo an unforgettable experience, if not for only good reasons. We're leaving here tonight for the southern tourist mecca of Luxor and it famous 'Valley of the Kings'. We'll be back in Cairo in a few days, back to deal once more with its short-changing locals, migraine inducing streets and tourist-dollar siphoning attractions. We're looking forward to Cairo part II. We're just not quite sure why.

Day 240 & 241 Observations (April 9th & 10th 2008)

· Early risers
We seem to be out of bed alarmingly early these days. For some reason we're awake by 6am and up & out by 8am. And this is supposed to be a holiday. We seem to be incapable of having a lie-in and no, we can't blame it on the incessant beeping of car horns that seem to be the soundtrack of a visit to Cairo, even at 6am. As far as we can tell this early morning car horn beeping goes against the general Egyptian way of things; they seem to be a late to rise, late to bed sort of race. Shops and businesses don't open until 10 or 11am but will be jam packed with consumers well beyond what even we deem a late bed time.

· Eating like an Egyptian
We're loving the basic but filling Egyptian breakfast served to us here in the Scarabee Hotel. Hot 'fuul' (boiled fava beans mashed with lemon juice, olive oil & chopped chillies) mopped up with flat bread and washed down with tea (no milk, just sugar and mint leaves) goes down a treat and keeps us going for hours. They do it (fuul) so well here that it's their national dish.

· "Suits you Sir"

01 "Suits you sir"

We've been on the lookout for a decent tailor since we left Beijing in mid February, one who can rustle us up a few nice suits to help us look all smart and fancy when we eventually put this trip behind us and get back to paying taxes (oh, just the thought of it). Well, we found a tailor here in Cairo who we're putting our trust in and we're just hoping he is what we were looking for; a tailor who can rustle us up few nice suits. We'll know for sure in 4 days when we go to pickup our new, single-breasted, made to measure suits, the ones we are paying on average €60 for (we're getting two each). Here's hoping the quality of the finished article matches the tailor's eagerness to please us.

· Anything goes

02 The Herd

It's hard to put into words what it's like to walk the streets of Cairo but suffice to say you see some strange sights, sights you wouldn't expect to see in any normal city setting (it doesn't take long to realise that Cairo isn't 'normal' in the normal sense of the word). The whole place is one big open air market, bisected by always busy, always noisy streets full of beat-up buses, taxis, vans, carts... you name it; if it has wheels and/or spews carbon monoxide you'll find it on these streets. People sit on the side of the roads manning

03 The Neighbourhood

makeshift stalls that seem to sell anything from used radios to unused satellite dishes, books, tissues, frying pans, extractor fans... anything really. Tea sellers move amongst all the madness with trays delicately balanced on their heads, people go about their business seemingly oblivious to their surroundings and locals jump on and off moving buses with alarming confidence that there isn't another vehicle there to mow them down. Amongst all this we've even witnessed people herd 10-12 goats across a busy road just as they would in some valley in a less congested part of the country. What a herd of goats are doing in such a busy city in the first place we've no idea, but it sure does make for a spectacle and leaves one in no doubt that yes, anything goes on the streets of Cairo.

· Check & double check

04 semi-dilapidated

We've already lost count of the amount of time we've been short-changed. Even the guys behind the glass in the metro stations, the ones wearing the very official looking uniform, have left us short. Do they think we don't know that the fare is a flat 1EGP (€0.12)? Or do they assume we, as westerners, want to tip them for doing their job? Count your change after each and every transaction and when you're finished counting count again. We'd be surprised if you haven't been 'gouged', our new favourite word.

· Anti Pedestrian
Cairo's streets, and we assume all of Egypt's streets, are what we would class as anti-pedestrian.

05 Buffer

Traffic lights are just a decoration (they look so much nicer at night), pedestrian crossings are, at best, a curiosity to Cairo motorists and, just like in India, the horn is the most essential part of any road going vehicle. We have it on good authority that two beeps means "I'm alongside and about to overtake," a single long blast warns "I can't (won't) stop and I'm coming through!" whereas extending your hand, fingers raised and tips together, is the signal for "Watch out, don't pass now" & spreading your fingers and flipping them forwards indicates "Go ahead." Our guidebook advises crossing the road using a local as a buffer between you and the oncoming traffic (most likely a 1980's Peugeot or Lada) and to,

'never ever hesitate once you begin to cross.'

Thanks for the advice guys but we are of the impression that, as nerve wrecking as crossing the road here is, the locals don't actually want to hit you and so that, coupled with their avoidance moves and your non-hesitance (very important), should see you to the other side safely enough. If not, then at least the local buffering you from the traffic should take the brunt of the... well, whatever transpires. Good luck, and may God be with you.

· Drinkies

06 Shop

If I ever open an off-license/liquor store (now there is a thought) I'd call it 'Drinkies', just like the state off-licenses here in Egypt. We'd almost given up on finding beer in Egypt until we joyously laid our eyes on Drinkies and their wall of Stella beer bottles (Stella is Egypt's 'Authentic lager beer, brewed since 1897' and no, it's not the same as the better known, in Europe at least, Belgium Stella). EGP 4.5 (€0.55) for a 500ml bottle means Drinkies is, for us, the best tourist attraction in Cairo. We're not on first name terms with the Drinkies guys just yet, but we're getting there.

· Dot to dot
Pat looked like a dot to dot puzzle when he woke yesterday morning as a result of the Scarabee Hotel mozzies having a better night than him. I searched but couldn't find one bite, something that didn't impress Pat too much.

· 4600 years old

07 Sheesha

We took a looked at a few of the 100,000 antiques and statues that are housed in the Egyptian museum today, some of which are, get this, over 4,600 years old. 4,600 years old. Now that's old, mind-bogglingly old, by anyone's standard. Most of the statues looked like they were carved yesterday but have actually been around since about 2600BC. Amazing. Btw, there is no doubting the historical significance and quality of the antiquities and artifacts, from every period of ancient Egyptian history, on display in the museum (Tutankhamen's funerary mask and sarcophagus are indeed breathtaking) but in our emm, expert opinion the museum, the age of its artefact's aside, is a dark, badly laid out and wholly inadequately labeled zoo. Our advice - come prepared (rested, with patience and sharp elbows) and informed to get the best out of a visit to what is supposed to be one of the best museums in the world.

· "Where you from?"

If you want to get the most from a trip to Egypt, it is vital not to assume that anyone who approaches you expects to profit from the encounter. Too many tourists do, and end up making little contact with an extraordinarily friendly people. Behaviour and attitude on your part are important. If some Egyptians treat tourists with contempt, it has much to do with the way the latter behave. It helps everyone if you can avoid rudeness or aggressive behaviour in response to insistent offers or demands
- The Rough Guide to Egypt

We've had that question posed to us more times than we can remember (although we've still heard it less

08 Sunset

than we've heard the word 'welcome'). Most, but not all, of the "where you from?" questions are posed by over friendly strangers who like to attach themselves to us for as long as it takes for them to believe us when we say we don't actually want whatever unnecessary service it is they are offering. We've never actually tolerated them long enough to discover exactly what it is they are offering but it is invariably an overpriced tour, a similarly overpriced hotel room or an invite to their brothers/uncles carpet/jewelery/craft shop. We have been approached by genuinely friendly locals, although not many. It's unfortunate but the approach we've adopted is to assume that anyone who approaches us does so with an angle/motive. It's just easier that way no matter what any guidebook might say on the matter. Trust me.

· 'Tourist' train

09 26th of July

We're going to Luxor this evening, a 10-hour overnight train trip of some 400km. The train we're taking is one of only 3 trains approved to carry foreigners (for security reasons the 3 trains are guarded by plain-clothes officers due to the ever-present, albeit rare, threat of a terrorist attack). Our ticket for an aeroplane type reclining seat cost us €15 each, a lot less than the €45 it would have cost us for a berth on the so-called 'tourist' train (read 'gouging' train) that plies the same route. It's one of the few occasions so far that we've been able to avoid being, well, gouged. It takes a bit of work to avoid buying a ticket for the 'tourist' train (train staff will assume you, as a westerner, will want a berth on the 'tourist' train) but the effort will save you €30, a lot of money in Egypt and €30 others will, no doubt, try to extrapolate from you.

· North to... Damascus
Pat was reading our Middle East guidebook (btw, Lonely Planet - is Egypt really in the Middle East?... just wondering) last night when he piped up and proclaimed that he wanted to go to Damascus, the Syrian capital. It wasn't part of the original 'Dave & Pat in the Middle East' itinerary but seen as we didn't actually have a 'Dave & Pat in the Middle East' itinerary then we should be able to squeeze it in somewhere. We were supposed to be going home in mid-April but that is looking ever less likely. Damascus... and beyond (possibly).